


All I ever wanted

by Gegenwind



Series: You are my sunshine [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artistic!Reader, Attempted Violence, Blackmail, Crying, Drama, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealousy, Loneliness, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Payback, References to Depression, Romance, Slow Build, Small!Reader, Songtexts and quotes, Teacher-Student Relationship, Though she's in university now, Triggers, college student!reader, teacher!levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-07-01 11:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 59,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15773481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gegenwind/pseuds/Gegenwind
Summary: Six months have passed since Levi and his former student became a couple - and they are ready to let the cat out of the bag. But they're both anxious about it - what will the others think? Would that change their friendship? And will it put even more stress on their blossoming relationship?While the young couple tries to cope with everything their friends put onto them, Erwin finds himself jealous. Jealous because now he is all alone with someone on his mind he never really talked to.All I wanted was to see him smile - but to see him slowly breaking apart was killing me as well.





	1. Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Why do thunderstorms always interfere with my upload schedule?
> 
> Well, welcome back, my dear readers! As I promised last week, we're continuing our journey today with the sequel to "You are my sunshine". Thank you again for reading the previous story and if you decided to move on with me, I am really happy! And for all the new readers: Welcome into our family, I want to make your stay as pleasant as possible ♥
> 
> I don't want to make you wait any longer, so please, enjoy the first chapter ♥

     »Are you really sure, [Name]? We can always wait a bit longer, you know.«

     »It’s been half a year already, Levi, if we wait any longer they’ll probably skin us if we don’t tell them the truth. We just have to be very careful about the day we first went on a date. They will be so mad at us if we told them that we already kissed when I was still your student.«

     [Name] brushed her hair one last time before she turned around to look at Levi and smiled. »I am scared, too, you know?« She took a few steps so she could wrap her arms around his neck. »We knew that this wouldn’t be easy.«

     »I know,« he sighed, »I just didn’t think that time would go by so incredibly fast.« He placed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer until their bodies were flush together. He kissed her forehead. »Maybe I hoped that I could have you all to myself just a little while longer. But you are right, the longer we keep this a secret, the more likely they will get really mad at us.«

     She leaned in to capture his lips, enjoying the taste of black tea and spearmint chewing gum. »Well, they are going to be mad no matter what we tell them. But I love you and I want to be with you and not even law has a right to judge us, remember?«

     He kissed her again instead of giving her a verbal response.

 

     Six months had passed since Levi and [Name] had unofficially started dating. Their summer had been really great. Since Hanji was out of the house most of the time, [Name] pretty much was free to do whatever she wanted. After work, she would often stop by at Levi’s, just to cuddle on the sofa and watch some movies. On really rare occasions, when [Name] could get a Sunday off, they would leave the town and go far away where they could be sure that no one would see them.

     The whole thing had gotten harder when [Name] had started university in October. The first few weeks were really stressful for her and she was happy that she had Jean by her side. She would’ve gotten lost at least five times a day if it wasn’t for him. Also, the workload began to keep her busy over the weekends, too. Since Levi was teaching at school and [Name] was in university an hour away from home, they barely had time to see each other without others noticing it.

     Since that put a lot of stress on both of them, they sat together on a cold November evening and talked about their whole relationship. They were definitely ready to let others know that they were a couple. There were a lot of things to consider, though. They couldn’t tell their friends the truth, that would most likely ruin Levi’s life. So, they agreed to tell their friends and families that they were now dating since four months. It was actually [Name]’s idea to let the cat out of the bag on Christmas Eve, hoping the peaceful mood would do them a favour. She had also planned on telling her friends the news on her birthday.

 

     [Name] had just returned from an excruciating week at university. Since Jean would visit some relatives over the holidays, he couldn’t take her home like usual and Levi had kindly offered to get her and let her shower at his place before heading over to Erwin where they all would celebrate Christmas Eve together this year.

     [Name] put her coat and shoes on alongside Levi before she wrapped a scarf around his neck, giving him a kiss before they left the house and got inside the car. Both of them were really nervous about what they were going to tell their friends. Erwin, Nanaba, Hanji, Moblit and Mike would be there and they were all so important to them, they didn’t want them to be mad.

     »Easy, [Name], we’re in this together,« Levi said calmly as he pulled into the driveway. Judging from the cars, they were the last to arrive. He squeezed her hand lightly, flashing her a smile. »We can do this, okay? Everything will turn out right in the end. It may take them a few months to accept and get used to it but I think they just want us to be happy. Or at least, they want you to be happy. I am not too sure about Erwin, though. You’re his precious little girl, after all.«

     [Name] chuckled. Since she had graduated, she had grown even closer to Erwin than before. He really was like a father to her and she loved every second of it. »I won’t let him touch you, I promise.«

     They got out of the car, taking all of the presents from the car boot and headed for the front door.

     »[Name], Levi, it’s so good to see you!« Erwin cheered. He wore one of those ridiculous Christmas sweaters and [Name] had to bite back a laugh. »Come in, we were all just waiting for you two.«

     Erwin led them to the living room where all of the guests were sitting. Mike sat on the sofa with a smiling Nanaba snuggled up next to him, while Hanji and Moblit were sharing one of the armchairs, Hanji sitting on her partner’s lap. »Oh, sweetheart, welcome back!« Hanji got up to embrace [Name]. »And thank you so much for driving her here, Levi, you’re an angel.«

     »Can’t leave her at university over the holidays, can I?« Levi and [Name] sat down on the sofa next to Mike and Nanaba, keeping the respectful distance they always kept on their gatherings. »And it wasn’t that big of a deal, really. Since you guys had been so busy preparing everything for this evening, I wanted to do something, too.«

     »Aren’t you nice, Levi?«

     »Keep that sarcasm to yourself, Mike.«

     »How’s university so far, [Name]?« Nanaba asked, handing her a cup of tea. »We haven’t seen each other in a while and Hanji said you were really busy.«

     [Name] sighed. »I barely am at home anymore and really happy that Jean takes me to classes and gets me home every day. But yes, it is way more stressful than I thought it would be. But I really like the subjects and I feel like I am improving day by day and that’s definitely worth all the exhaustion.«

 

     They kept on with the small talk, drinking tea and punch – none for [Name] and the ones who were driving, though – and eating some of Nanaba’s delicious biscuits. It was really nice to just relax for once. The last two months had been hell for [Name]. It was true that the lessons were worth the exhaustion but [Name] had barely had any time to just breathe and think of something else than homework. She was really tired right now and her eyes felt heavy. She was really looking forward to just sleep during the holidays, to read a good book and watch some movies, meet with some of her friends and to just enjoy her free time before she had to face all the exams.

     »Present time!« Hanji exclaimed happily, jumping up from Moblit’s lap and setting her glass down on the coffee table. »It is getting late, guys, and I’ve been waiting for this since we’ve arrived.«

     »You’re worse than a child.« Moblit sighed and shook his head but the smile on his face was clearly visible. He got up as well to help Hanji with the presents and the others gathered their things as well, ready to give them to the person it was bought for.

     »Since it’s your birthday tomorrow, I would suggest we start with you, Levi,« Erwin said smiling, handing him a thin packet, wrapped in blue and black, »I really hope you appreciate it since you don’t like Christmas or your own birthday.«

     »Thanks,« Levi said, ripping the packet open. Inside was a black dress shirt. »I hope you got the size right.« Levi eyed it suspiciously. »The last time you gave me clothes for my birthday, they were two numbers too big, you fucking giant.«

     Erwin rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. »Don’t worry, I am pretty sure that the size will be right this time. If not, I kept the receipt so you can change it for another shirt your size.«

     »I am next!« Hanji got up and handed Levi a decently wrapped present. »And I am pretty sure, you will like it. And don’t you dare throw it away like last time.«

     Rolling his eyes, Levi opened it. Hanji had apparently given him his favourite brand of tea. »Well, thanks, Shitty Glasses,« he said, putting it on the coffee table and folding the used gift wrap so it wouldn’t make that much of a mess. [Name] could see that he was happy but that he wouldn’t let it show. He could be so unbelievably stubborn at times. Nanaba and Mike had gotten Levi a nice-smelling aftershave and [Name] had bought him a beautiful keychain.

     After that, they handed out their presents to Hanji and Moblit. Since [Name] had figured out that Moblit was a talented drawer as well, she had bought him a set of pencils in all shapes and she got a new lab coat for Hanji and also managed to embroider her name on it. Levi had bought her a scarf since he had seen her running around in the cold without one while Erwin got her some gloves, ironically fitting the scarf. Moblit got various gift cards and a bottle of expensive wine.

     Even if [Name] had been busy over the last months, she had still managed to make a picture for Erwin, somehow. Levi had bought him a necktie and Hanji and Moblit a CD he had wanted for a while, apparently. Mike and Nanaba gifted him some wine and a gift card for their shop since Erwin had mentioned to get some new flowers for his garden once winter was over.

     The present Erwin got for Mike and Nanaba was quite personal. It was a photo album with pictures of their friend group and their development over the past ten years since this year marked the ten-year anniversary of Mike’s and Nanaba’s relationship. [Name] didn’t have special gifts for them since she didn’t know them quite as well but she got books for Nanaba and Mike since they both enjoyed reading. Moblit and Hanji gifted them a gift basket while Levi had bought some wine.

     [Name] was the last to receive her gifts and she was overwhelmed by them. Since she wasn’t someone who would obviously wish for something, everyone who wanted to gift her something had to know her really well and read between the lines. Though [Name] would’ve been happy and thankful no matter if she had gotten something or not.

     Moblit had made a sketch of her face while smiling and it was so beautiful that she immediately wanted to frame it while Hanji had gotten her some art supplies she had wanted to get once she had enough time. Mike and Nanaba had given her the same perfume they had already gifted her for her birthday since she had liked it very much. Erwin had bought her a ridiculously cute sweater. No matter how much time had passed, [Name] still loved to wear sweaters the most. Levi was the only one without a gift but it would be awkward if he would give her the necklace right now. He wanted to wait until the cat was officially out of the bag.

 

✿✿✿

 

     As the evening went on, [Name] found it not only harder and harder to stay awake but also to keep her distance to Levi. She always got really clingy when she was tired and his shoulder looked so utterly comfortable that it was nearly impossible to resist the urge to fall asleep against him. He made eye contact with her, feeling her distress. He gave her a reassuring look and mouthed something like »soon« and gave her a quick smile.

     Suddenly, Mike cleared his throat. »I would like to say something.« Everyone in the room went silent as Mike stood up from the sofa and set his glass on the coffee table. [Name] unconsciously shifted closer to Levi when Nanaba adjusted her position on the sofa.

     »All of you are important to me,« Mike began with a rare smile on his face, »and I couldn’t imagine to live in a world without any of you. I cherish our friendship so much but the thing I cherish the most is my relationship to you, Nanaba.« He kneeled in front of them, took their hands into his and kissed them. »You are the love of my life and you’ve been the one by my side for the past ten years.« he reached for his pocket and drew out a small box. »Would you do me the honours of marrying me and spend the rest of your life as my spouse?«

     Hanji and [Name] gasped in shock and happiness while Erwin smiled softly at them as Nanaba threw their arms around Mike, sobbing »yes« into his shirt over and over again. It was most possibly the happiest day in Nanaba’s entire life. The tears of joy continued flowing down their cheeks as Mike put the ring on their finger. They kissed and hugged each other and enjoyed all the congratulations they received.

     »It’s about time you engaged,« said Hanji, wiping a single tear away, »you two were together for so long now I wondered if Mike just didn’t have the balls to ask you.«

     »Hanji, don’t say something like that!« [Name] scolded her. »You don’t have to marry someone to show them how much you are in love, do you?« For a brief moment, her eyes found Levi’s in the heat of the announcement. There was something in his gaze she couldn’t grasp but it was gone the second after. Neither of them had expected that something like that would happen.

 

     [Name] had to take a break and excused herself for a moment to find a quiet place where she could think and breathe. She had planned to tell her beloved ones that she was dating Levi but could she manage to do that just after the happy engagement? Wouldn’t she ruin everyone’s mood by that? But when would she get an opportunity like that again, all of them happy and cheerful?

     She leaned against the counter in the kitchen and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to keep their relationship a secret any longer. It was exhausting to meet in secret and having to lie to everyone she held so dear. The stress it put on her was unbearable by now.

     »Hey, are you alright?« Levi slowly approached her, making sure that no one followed him. »If it’s too much, we can tell them another time, you know that, right?«

     »I can’t lie to them anymore, Levi,« she said with a pained expression on her face. »I love you and I want to be with you. But that only works when we tell them the truth. I just don’t want to ruin their mood now.« She huffed in frustration and ruffled trough her hair. »I am scared.«

     »I know.« He put a hand on her back, not really knowing what else to do since he didn’t want to risk them getting caught during a kiss. »Do you still want to tell them?«

     [Name] struggled. Did she really want to? Well, she obviously wanted to. She was just so scared about everyone’s reaction. This was no fairy tale. This was reality. »Yes. No. I don’t know anymore. But I can’t go on like this, it’ll destroy me sooner or later.« She looked at him and there it was again, the glimmer in his eyes she couldn’t understand, something she had never actually seen before in his steel-grey orbs.

     »Let’s go back.« Something in his voice had changed and [Name] just followed him without a reply. They sat back down on the sofa and [Name] didn’t actually expect anything to happen.

 

     »I’ve got to tell you guys something, too.« [Name] flinched. »Just don’t get mad.«

     »If you killed someone, I am not going to cover for you,« Erwin said nonchalantly and laughed. »Seriously, Levi, after all we’ve gone through together you think we would get mad? How bad can it be?« Hanji, Erwin and Mike laughed a little but Levi’s expression was still dead serious.

     »I am dating someone,« he began and Hanji nearly fell off Moblit’s lap.

     »Really?« she squealed. »Who is she? Do we know her? How long have you been seeing her? Is she nice? Oh, you have to introduce her to us!«

     He took a deep breath. »That won’t be necessary.« [Name] was on the verge of fainting. »Because I am dating [Name].«


	2. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about that cliffhanger from last week and I honestly felt bad about that. But don't worry, there is no thunderstorm tonight, so nothing to interfere with the upload!
> 
> Thank you so, so much for that massive and positive feedback I recieved for the first chapter, this honestly makes me so incredibly happy. Thank you so, so much ♥ Sometimes I think that I don't deserve such aweseome readers, you are great ♥
> 
> Please, enjoy this chapter! ♥

     It was dead silent. Everyone stared wide eyed at Levi while his expression hadn’t changed at all – though [Name] could hear his heart beating faster than ever. [Name] was pale as a ghost and she wasn’t sure whether she would die during the next five seconds or not if nobody would say a word. Her heart beat so fast and loud she was sure that everyone in the room could hear it. She wanted to disappear. Or wake up in her bed and notice that it had only been a bad dream.

     »Pardon me?« Erwin was the first one to find his voice again. There was a frown on his face, his eyes narrowed and he set his glass down just in case he couldn’t hold it any longer. »Repeat that, please, Levi. I don’t think we understood what you meant.«

     Levi took another deep breath and took [Name]’s hand in his own. He felt how cold it was and she was trembling slightly. »We are dating,« he repeated, loud and clear. »I love [Name] and she loves me but I am pretty sure that you are familiar with the process of dating another human being. And God, could you stop staring? You’re scaring her.«

     Erwin’s eyes fell on [Name] who hid behind Levi as best as she could. »[Name], is that true? Are you really in a relationship with Levi?« She avoided his piercing stare. Erwin’s normally warm blue hues seemed cold and harsh and she wanted to cry because she knew that he was furious. She loved Erwin and she was afraid of his reaction the most.

     »Yes,« she whispered. »Please, don’t get mad.«

     It was silent again. [Name] felt like she would pass out any moment. She felt a wave of nausea wash over her, cold chills running down her spine while her face seemed to burn, her ears were ringing and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Levi still held her hand securely in his and brushed his thumb over her knuckles. It was the worst-case scenario. She would’ve gladly taken the yelling and cursing but the absolute silence was destroying her. She didn’t dare to look up, she didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes. The tears were burning in her eyes and she did her best not to cry.

 

     »I don’t really know where the problem is,« said Mike after a few minutes. [Name] let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding and slowly looked up at him. He was smiling a bit, maybe trying to ease her anxiety. »I mean, you are both of age and it shouldn’t be our concern who you two are with as long as you are happy.« He put one arm around Nanaba and pulled them towards him. They were smiling and leaning into Mike’s much taller and more muscular frame.

     »That’s true,« Nanaba said with what looked like an apologetic smile, »we were just stunned, that’s all. Love just happens and as long as you two are happy, we should be, too.«

     Levi’s grip on [Name]’s hand tightened. She felt him slowly relax after hearing Mike and Nanaba’s kind words but the other three still hadn’t said anything. According to Mike’s look, he was telling Erwin to stop glaring at the young couple but Erwin didn’t seem to notice or to care. The hardness in his face made [Name]’s heart stop for a second. She had never seen Erwin angry let alone furious but if this was the expression he made when upset, she didn’t ever want to displease him again.

     »Honey, I can hardly forbid you to love Levi,« Hanji finally spoke and she stood up. She kneeled down in front of the sofa where [Name] was sitting and took her free hand in her own. »And I will be happy if you are. We might need a little time to grow accustomed to it but I am not mad at you. You are old enough to know what you want and to be honest, I would prefer Levi over a random guy I don’t even know. That way I can kill him in his sleep if he tries to hurt you.« She sent Levi a playful glare.

     After looking at Hanji’s smiling face for a few seconds, [Name]’s look shifted over to Moblit who was smiling as well, nodding in her direction. The only one who still didn’t show any sign of approval was Erwin. All eyes were now on him and [Name] gripped Levi’s hand painfully hard and with a strength Levi didn’t even know she had. She pressed herself closer to him, readying herself for whatever shouting might come.

     »Were you already dating when she was still your student?« Erwin said. [Name] flinched at the coldness of his words.

     »Who do you think I am? Of course not,« Levi barked, narrowing his eyes at him. »We’re together since four months. God, stop fucking staring like you are planning to murder us. Don’t you see that [Name] is crying because of you?« He had indeed felt a wetness on his shoulder where [Name] was hiding her face from Erwin’s glare.

     Only now Erwin noticed that [Name] was shaking because she tried to hold in the sobs.

     »Look,« Levi continued, now putting an arm around [Name]’s shoulder and pulling her closer so she could hide her face in his chest, »you can hate me all you want, I am fine with that. But don’t you dare to hate [Name] for her feelings for me. I love her and I swear not to hurt her. We know full well that you need time to get used to the fact that we are dating. We totally understand this and we always agreed that it wouldn’t be easy if we ever got into a serious relationship when we started going out. We actually didn’t even want to let you know that soon but it was putting a lot of stress on [Name] and I didn’t want her to suffer. So, hate me if you want. But don’t let your anger out on her.«

     Erwin looked at the sobbing bundle in Levi’s arms. »Is that true, [Name]? Does he really not force you to say any of this?«

     »Erwin, that’s enough,« Mike said and his tone was harsher than anything Levi had ever heard.

     »Why would you say something like that?« [Name] sobbed quietly. She looked up at Erwin, the tears blurring her vision. »Why would you believe that your own friend would force me into a relationship? Don’t you trust him? Don’t you trust _me_?«

 

     Erwin’s expression faltered again. Seeing [Name] cry like that hurt his heart. It was against his morals to see a student date their teacher but those were two of the people he held close to him. Levi had his arms wrapped securely around [Name]’s fragile frame as if to shield her from Erwin’s piercing glare. He had no right to judge them and he knew that very well. Levi was not [Name]’s teacher anymore. They were both adults and the way they acted around each other was – _cute_.

     He sighed and looked at the carpet. »[Name], Levi, I am sorry. I didn’t intend to – I mean, I didn’t want to hurt you by any means. It was just – I … God, I should go to bed.«

     »It’s an unusual situation for all of us, Erwin,« said Nanaba, »but [Name] is old enough to judge a situation the right way and I think that she has thought a lot about her relationship with Levi. I mean, look at them.«

     Levi was kissing her temple while wiping her tears away. His other hand was on the small of her back, rubbing soothing circles to calm her down. She had her arms around his neck and her legs across his lap, clearly relaxing because of his touch. The sour feeling in Erwin’s stomach slowly disappeared – but it was replaced with unbearable sadness. Mike had an arm around Nanaba and Hanji sat on Moblit’s lap, letting him kiss her neck. And he was all alone.

     [Name] sniffed and stood up from her spot on the sofa and went over to Erwin’s armchair. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Shocked from this sudden hug, it took Erwin a few moments to respond to it. His strong arms wrapped around [Name]’s upper body and pressed her closer into his muscular frame. She let her fingers glide through his undercut and higher where his strands got longer.

     »I apologize,« Erwin said and held back his tears. He hurt [Name]. And he did Levi wrong. God, the one time he couldn’t control his emotions and he hurt someone so very dear to him. He didn’t even know what he was thinking. He just heard Levi saying that he and [Name] were in a relationship and something inside him just snapped. »I sincerely apologize, [Name].«

     »It’s alright,« she whispered, »we knew it wouldn’t be easy.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     After [Name] and Erwin had calmed down, the mood seemed to get better again. [Name] was sitting cuddled up next to Levi, a blanket wrapped around her and a mug of hot chocolate in her hands.

     »I am sorry for ruining your engagement, Mike,« Levi said.

     »Don’t exaggerate, Levi. This is most likely the happiest day in my life and your announcement didn’t ruin my mood at all. I am happy that you finally found someone you’re happy with. Eld owes me five bucks now.«

     »Wait, you bet with Eld?« Nanaba crooked an eyebrow at their fiancé.

     Mike snorted. »I bet that Levi would be in a relationship before he turned thirty. Eld bet he wouldn’t. Levi is our lonely wolf, after all.« Nanaba punched his arm lightly while Levi rolled his eyes. »Oh, come on, Levi.«

     »I can’t believe you.«

     »Honey, you still haven’t told us how the story between you two lovebirds began.« Hanji blinked innocently. »I mean, I knew that you were seeing someone during the summer months but I didn’t think it was Levi. I am so curious! I mean, you two did get along really well before but when did the love between you two spark?«

     [Name] chuckled but her heart picked up its speed. She hated lying to Hanji but this was a case where she just couldn’t tell the truth to anyone. »Well, we did meet more often after I graduated. It was always nice to talk to him and he did a lot for me during the year. And well, the rest isn’t that interesting. Our talks became more frequent and love just happened, somehow.«

     »And that’s where the cliché shit started,« added Levi, »I was already completely in love with her on our first date. But you won’t get any more details, that’s personal.«

     »And there’s Shorty’s possessive side. But darling, I am too young to become a grandma, so make sure to stay safe, okay?« Hanji blinked and [Name] choked on her hot chocolate while Levi’s face turned crimson. Hanji started laughing so hard she nearly doubled over hadn’t Moblit grasped her by her waist to prevent her from meeting the floor face first.

     Erwin went rigid again. Relationships involved _sex_. And Levi laying his fingers on [Name]’s pure skin? God, he wanted to strangle him right then and there. Which brought the question to his mind if the two of them had already been intimate. But he couldn’t ask for such a private detail, could he? He was not her father, after all.

     »Don’t stick your nose into my or [Name]’s sex life, would you?« said Levi, throwing a pillow at Hanji who was still giggling like a maniac. »But if you are seriously concerned about that, then don’t worry, I won’t-«

     »God, can we change the subject?« [Name] was hiding her face in Levi’s shoulder, red up to her ears. She would never, not under any circumstances, admit that she was indeed intimate with Levi. It didn’t happen that often but she enjoyed being so close to him whenever they got the energy and time to actually do more than just cuddling. On the weekends, both of them were often too tired to do more than sit on the sofa and sleep afterwards. And it wasn’t like their relationship only contained sex.

     »Haha, sorry, sorry,« Hanji wiped some tears out of the corners of her eyes, »I was just kidding. I know that you two are mature enough to know what you’re doing. I was just trying to lift the mood!«

     »How much have you had to drink?« Moblit raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend, wondering if he should take her home before things got out of hand.

     »I am not drunk!« protested Hanji. »Can’t I make a joke while being sober? Oh, come on, darling, no need to be shy about that. We’re all adults here.«

     [Name] was still hiding her face in Levi’s shirt, too embarrassed to look anyone in the eye.

     »Why don’t we call it a day?« Nanaba adjusted themselves on the sofa. »It has gotten pretty late already and I am sure that some of us want to spend the rest of the night a little differently.« They eyed Hanji who began to place kisses all over Moblit’s neck and threw a glance at Levi and [Name] who were still hugging tightly.

     »That actually sounds like a great idea.« Mike stood up and stretched. »We will help you clean up, Erwin and then we will head home.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     It was way past midnight when Erwin’s back finally hit the soft mattress. It had been a rather eventful evening and he was drained, tired, angry and sad at the same time. He certainly couldn’t find sleep while there were still so many things on his mind and he turned to face the window. It had begun to snow lightly and the moon made it look like little white lights were dancing outside his bedroom window.

     It had been hard for him to watch [Name] go home with Levi, knowing full well that she would spend the night with him and also knowing that she already had for the past four months. It wasn’t even the fact that they had been student and teacher not so long ago – to be honest, he didn’t really know why he was so upset.

     Levi had been alone for a long time and he should be happy that he had found someone. He should be happy for [Name] too, since she’d had a truly horrible year. And like Hanji said, he felt a bit more relieved that [Name] was actually dating Levi and not a random guy he didn’t know. The age difference between them wasn’t that big, either – his own father was ten years older than his mother. The two fit perfectly together; it was just that seeing them being happy and in love made him – _jealous_.

     There it was, the thought he dreaded to admit. He was jealous. Jealous because he was the only one out of his friend group not to have a relationship. Jealous because everyone around him seemed to be happy and in love, while he was lying alone in his bed every night, wishing for someone to hold to his chest and wake up next to them. Erwin craved for love in his life and the only thing up to now that lifted his mood was that he wasn’t the only lonely wolf in their friend group.

     And now he was all alone. Hanji had Moblit, Nanaba and Mike were engaged and Levi could hold [Name] all night long and he would wake up to her smiling face. Erwin’s chest felt heavy. He was thirty-one now, and even though he knew that was no age to stop dating, he couldn’t bring himself to meet other women.

     As his eyes grew heavier, he saw a clear figure before him. In the darkness stood a girl with sandy blonde hair and a beautiful smile on her face, her two-coloured eyes shining so bright they could light up the darkness in his heart.

_Aurora._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is just the beginning! It may seem to be all sunshine and happiness at the moment but I am not done with that topic just yet. (So sorry about that.) But let's just pretend that everything is fine until next week.
> 
> Have a nice weekend and take care of yourselves ♥


	3. Concern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for all your support, all of your comments and Kudos. Thank you so, so much. This not only makes me happy as an author but as a person as well ♥  
> Second, I noticed something that seems a concern for a few of you: No matter how old you are, don't stress yourself over relationships, kisses or whatever. All of you are pretty young I suppose and all of us have a lifetime ahead of us to experience love and whatever. I've never dated anyone myself. The only thing I have done was kissing and I asked my best friend to kiss me because I didn't want to have my first kiss with someone I don't trust. It was nice but I've never been kissed again afterwards.  
> Love needs time. Time to blossom and grow. Don't press yourselves. You are all wonderful human beings and the right person for you will come.
> 
> So, please enjoy the chapter! ♥

     He exhaled slowly as he was pulled out of his sleep and back into reality bit by bit. His chest and eyes still felt heavy from sleep and he didn’t open his eyes yet, the room still being comfortably dark. It had been a while since he had been able to sleep so peacefully without anything interrupting his slumber. But before he went to bed the day before, he had made sure to turn off his phone and alarm clock and since it was Christmas, the traffic wouldn’t wake him, either. He had a nice dream, nothing strange or frightening and he felt warm despite the cold outside. He shifted his position to his right side, hand in search of the body on the other side of the bed – but there was none.

     Levi’s eyes fluttered open. His vision was blurred and he blinked a few times, rubbing the remaining sleep out of his eyes and sat up. »[Name]?« He looked around, his girlfriend nowhere in sight. Normally, he was always the first one to get up and make breakfast – he didn’t even need an alarm anymore to wake up before [Name] since she was always so tired when she stayed at his place. He would look at her sleeping form and caress her features, placing a kiss on her forehead before getting up.

     He looked around the room. [Name]’s clothes were still where she put them last night before going to bed so she was still here. Levi sighed. For a brief moment, he was concerned that she had vanished but the longer he thought about it, the more ridiculous the idea seemed to him. [Name] would never just leave without saying goodbye – after her outburst last May she had to promise to never do something similar again. And up to now, she kept her promise.

     Levi stretched before finally deciding to leave the warmth of the bed. He pulled the covers aside and put on his slippers before starting to make the bed. Levi and [Name] had a little rule – the one to get up first would make breakfast and the other one would make the bed. Levi didn’t mind doing either of these things, he just enjoyed the silent moment in the morning where there was just him and [Name], her face so peaceful and for once, she was not plagued by her fears and thoughts and all the stress art school was putting on her.

     Making his way downstairs, he could already smell tea and pancakes as well as hear his girlfriend humming a song he didn’t recognize. The lights were on, a bit too bright for his liking and he leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms to look at [Name]. She was standing by the stove, her hair in a disarray and her clothing wrinkled. She wore one of his t-shirts and sweatpants – it came in really handy that Levi wasn’t that much taller than her. His clothing fit her really well and it didn’t look ridiculous when she was wearing one of his sweaters or shirts. He couldn’t help but think that she looked beautiful.

     Levi silently made his way over to where she was standing and carefully wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his chest to her back and inhaling her scent. He kissed her exposed neck and nuzzled his face into it afterwards.

     »Good morning,« she said softly, »and happy birthday, Levi.« She turned her head to give him a quick kiss before concentrating on their breakfast again.

     »Morning, beautiful,« he murmured, his face still buried in her neck. His hair and breath tickled her sensitive skin and she giggled softly. He continued to place feather-light kisses on her neck, brushing her hair aside to have more access. His hands rubbed soothing circles on her waist and hips and [Name] hummed in appreciation while not taking her eyes off the pancakes she was making.

     »I hope you slept well.« [Name] turned off the stove, putting the last pancake onto a plate and setting the frying pan back down. She wiggled herself free from his grasp just so she could turn around to face him and put her arms around his neck. She finally could give him a proper kiss and both of them closed their eyes, enjoying the innocent and sweet moment of intimacy.

     »Oh, I did,« he breathed when they parted, »it has been way too long since I had the pleasure of holding you during my sleep. But I have to admit that I didn’t really like waking up and you were not around. You had me worried for a brief moment. Are you alright?«

     »Hm? Oh, I just couldn’t sleep anymore, so I went downstairs to make breakfast. And sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worried.« She gave him a warm smile. »Anyway, it started snowing yesterday and it hasn’t stopped yet. What do you want to do today?«

     Levi crooked an eyebrow and looked at his girlfriend with a questioning look. He knew her well enough to know whenever she was trying to hide something from him, because she was actually pretty bad at lying. »You changed the subject way too quick, [Name]. I know that you’re still thinking about yesterday, you can’t fool me.«

     She sighed deeply. »Well, it was worth a try …«

 

✿✿✿

 

     They sat down together and began eating breakfast while Levi was patiently waiting for his girlfriend to start telling him what was bothering her. She seemed to form the right words in her head and he decided to let her eat in peace – after all, the pancakes were delicious.

     He was about to finish the last bite when she spoke. »Do you think Erwin hates me now?«

     Levi put his fork on his plate. »Of course not, you are his everything, [Name].«

     »I am not too sure about that after his previous reaction … I thought he would jump at us and kill me! God, do you know how scared I was? I didn’t think he would get that mad …« [Name] let her head fall onto the surface of the desk in defeat. »I couldn’t think of anything else the last hours, that’s why I couldn’t sleep anymore. And I actually had nightmares.«

     Levi pulled her closer to him. »Why didn’t you wake me up? And why didn’t you talk to me yesterday before we went to bed?« He felt bad for not noticing her concerns earlier but he had been really tired last night and all he had wanted to do was sleep.

     »I needed some time alone,« she answered honestly, »and I was so tired yesterday I am not sure if I could have told you. Sorry.«

     Levi pressed a kiss to the top of her head which was still lying on the desk. If it wasn’t for the sake of their friendship and [Name], he would have yelled at Erwin for staring them down so much the previous evening. Did he forget how much he meant to [Name]? Of course, she was afraid of his reaction the most, Levi knew well enough that the two of them were like father and daughter. But, well, Erwin didn’t make such a bad impression as a furious parent who just met their daughter’s very first boyfriend. Still, his reaction had been clearly shocking for all of them. »Don’t be sorry, if I had been a bit less tired, I would’ve noticed sooner. Listen, I know well enough that Erwin loves you more than anything. He was just shocked, that’s all. He will get used to this new situation, believe me. And don’t he dare abandon you, I will kick his ass so hard he won’t even know what hit him.«

     [Name] giggled softly. Levi always knew how to make her feel better. But that didn’t change the fact that Erwin had literally scared her to death – what would happen the next time they would meet? Her birthday was just a few days away and they had already agreed to have lunch together just like last year. Would he cancel their reservation? Or would he just stare her down the entire time? It would be so awkward.

     »Hey,« Levi said, »do you want me to talk to Erwin or something like that? I’ve known him for a long time and I also know when he’s pissed and I have always been the one to piss him off, so I know how to handle him.«

     [Name] shook her head. »That’s really nice of you but I have to deal with him myself. I am the one bothered by it so I have to be the one to sort it out with him. I am scared but I can do it. Somehow,« she added the last part in a half-whisper, finally bothering to sit up straight.

     Levi let one of his hands brush through her locks while he kept looking at her features. There was something else bothering her, he could sense it. »[Name],« he began cautiously, not wanting to force her to say anything she didn’t want him to hear, »is there anything else you want to tell me? Maybe something that hasn’t got anything to do with Erwin and the way he was acting yesterday?«

     She went rigid under his touch and he knew that he had hit a nerve. His hand moved to the nape of her neck, slowly massaging her muscles there, easing some of the stress she was experiencing. His other hand searched for one of hers, letting his fingers slowly brush over her sensitive skin before holding it tightly in his own. He kissed her temple. »It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. Though I suppose I know what’s bothering you.«

     »I am an open book to you, huh?« She looked at him with sad eyes, leaning a bit closer so she could put her face in the crook of his neck. »What will my friends say about us being together? I know that they love me and would support me but what if they react similar to Erwin? I don’t think I could deal with that …«

     »They won’t react like Erwin. Maybe Mikasa but she would probably just be utterly mad at me. I mentally prepare myself to die when she hears about our relationship, to be honest.« [Name] laughed softly. »Just give them time to get used to it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bott – erm, I mean, Marco and Jean were to spit out their drinks. Take an umbrella with you, just in case. All I can do is reassure you that I will always be here for you. I love you and personally, I don’t give two shits about the other’s opinions. But I know that it is important for you that your friends accept our relationship. And when they should dare to turn their backs on you, I will make them pay for it.«

     She laughed again. [Name] knew that Levi wouldn’t do anything to actually hurt her friends – well, at least not physically – and his words managed to calm her down a little.

     »Listen, just enjoy this day, okay? You’ve earned some time to relax before your exams and I missed my amazing girlfriend. You were always so tired when we actually had the chance meet and I want to see that beautiful smile of yours again. Let’s just watch some movies, okay?«

     »Have I ever told you how amazing you are?« She wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly inching closer until their lips met in a gentle kiss.

 

     After finishing their breakfast and doing the dishes, [Name] went to have a shower while Levi cleaned the living room to his standards. He was actually really looking forward to just spend the day on the sofa even if he was the more active part of their relationship. But he was tired and wanted to relax a bit just like [Name]. And it was Christmas, after all. The Christmas markets were full of people and there was nothing else to do than wander around and looking at the overly-expensive items they sold at these markets because everything else was closed today. And it still hadn’t stopped snowing – in her current state, [Name] would just catch a cold.

     When [Name] returned, he went to shower himself, letting her pick the first movie for the day.

     Tough Levi had comforted her earlier, she was still thinking about what had happened and what would happen when she told her friends. She would meet with Marco and Jean for some coffee in a few days, just shortly before her birthday so she could tell them first but after Erwin’s reaction she was scared to tell anyone else than the ones she considered her family.

     She knew perfectly well that her friends loved her but she had thought the same about Erwin. She was insecure – was it a bad decision to let anyone know so early? Well, obviously not, she felt a lot more relieved now that she had told Hanji because keeping her relationship a secret from _her_ had felt awfully wrong.

     [Name] was just so scared that she would lose her friends for good. After all that had happened the past year, she was still surprised that they hadn’t given up on her after not talking to any of them for three entire months. Her stomach turned slightly and she sat down on the sofa, burying her face in her hands and exhaling slowly.

     She should try to relax and think of something else, at least for today. Not just for her sake but for Levi’s as well. It was still his birthday, after all and even if he didn’t like to be reminded of that particular event, she wanted to make his day as relaxing as possible. [Name] put one of the disks into the DVD-player, not really paying attention to what she just picked because every movie with Levi was worth watching and he owned nothing she wouldn’t like.

     Ten minutes later, Levi returned and sat on the sofa, pulling [Name] close. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before they started watching the first movie with more to follow throughout the day.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Throughout the day, they got through five more movies, occasionally dozing off. Around lunchtime, they decided to order some takeout because none of them was in the mood for cooking. They rarely did something like that, preferring to prepare their food with each other but it wasn’t too bad once in a while. After lunch, they sat back on the sofa, [Name] putting her head on Levi’s chest before closing her eyes and taking a nap, while Levi just listened to her steady breathing for a while and eventually falling asleep, too.

     They watched movies and talked, kissed and cuddled and Levi made a mental note that this was seriously the best birthday in his entire life. Maybe his aunt would kill him tomorrow for turning off his phone but that was something he could be concerned about later. It was so nice to have [Name] here in his arms without her being stressed about homework or presentations for university and without him hating the thought of having classes early in the morning with some brats that didn’t know how to count to ten. It was just them and nothing else.

    As the evening drew nearer, they paid less and less attention to the TV, just enjoying the other’s touches and caresses, lips nipping at skin and fingers tangled in each other’s hair, softly brushing through it. Levi had one hand on the small of her back, holding her close to himself while he placed soft kisses on her lips. [Name]’s hands rested on his chiselled chest, softly kneading the firm muscles and gliding higher to his shoulders. Her legs laid across his lap and she shifted her position to be closer to him, to feel his warmth, to breathe in his scent.

     But all the touches and kisses were innocent and sweet, no second thought in mind and they were both thankful for that. This was something so much more intimate than sex and something both of them enjoyed way too much to let anything more happen.

     After some time, Levi placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. »I never gave you your Christmas present, [Name].«

     »I told you that you don’t need to get me anything,« she whispered, not wanting that beautiful moment to end so soon, »you are more than everything I could’ve asked for.«

     Levi laughed silently. »And I told you the same yet you have given me something for Christmas.« He put one hand in his pocket and pulled out a small, silver box.

     »What is that?« [Name] asked.

     He started kissing her again. »Do you remember,« he said in between kisses, »what I said on our first night together? The night I finally became yours?«

     A blush crept on her face. »You said a lot back then …«

     He put his free hand right to the collar of her sweater, tracing its outline with a finger. »I said I wanted to put a necklace around here. A dainty silver necklace with a stone that matches your beautiful eyes.«

     [Name] blinked a few times in confusion until she realized that the silver box held what Levi just described. Her eyes went wide. »Levi, you didn’t have to – I mean, this must’ve been so expensive!« She blushed a thousand shades of red.

     He chuckled low in his throat. »I know that we agreed not to buy too expensive stuff but I wanted to, [Name]. It is a gift and I hope you accept it. May I put it around your neck?«

     She nodded with tears in her eyes. »I love you, Levi. Thank you.«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I promised that I will do weekly updates but this is the last chapter I had written beforehand. There were a lot of things to do the last few weeks and I didn't have much time for writing. I really try hard to keep my promise but I don't know if I will be able to as long as I don't have a buffer of three to four chapters. I hope you can understand but I really try my best.
> 
> Have a nice week and take care of yourselves! ♥


	4. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I finished in time! I was a bit worried that I couldn't make it and I am really glad that the chapter turned out like I wanted it to. Prepare for some angst though I feel really sorry about that.  
> Please, enjoy the chapter! ♥
> 
> The song I used is "Someday" by Nickelback.

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright but not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_(You're the only one who knows that)_

_Someday, somehow_

_I'm gonna make it alright but not right now_

_I know you're wondering when_

_Waqar Ahmed once said, »Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.«_

 

 

     The reflexion in the mirror did not show what she wanted to see – there was fear written all over her tense features, fear and sheer panic. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying and they were dull with worry filling them. She was pale and slightly shaking and her lips were drawn into a very thin line as if she had to stop herself from screaming. She was just so afraid.

     [Name] was seriously considering to tell Marco and Jean that she didn’t feel well and that they would go out for coffee on another day. It was the truth, actually – she didn’t sleep all night and she didn’t know whether she would throw up any moment or not because of how anxious she was. Her body seemed way too small for all the anxiety that was currently wrecking her mind and she thought she would just explode or something if it didn’t stop anytime soon.

     Her mind was just blank. She’d spent the last few days carefully selecting the words she wanted to tell her best friends but now she felt as if she had just forgotten how to speak entirely. How should she begin? Should she say the truth as soon as they entered the café? Or should she wait until they ordered something? Should she even say anything? She knew that no one who knew already would tell anyone that she was actually dating Levi so she always had the option of not letting them know it was him but that would just be the same as before – no, she _had_ to tell them the truth, it was killing her.

     A faint knock on the door made her shriek. »I-I’m nearly ready!« she managed to squeak out but her voice was shaking so bad that Hanji didn’t even think twice about opening the door and coming into the bathroom with a concerned look on her face.

     »Sweetheart, are you alright?« she began. »You’re horribly pale and you’re shaking. Is this bothering you so much?« Hanji came closer and wrapped her arms around [Name], pulling her into a gentle embrace. [Name] didn’t reply and simply leaned into the hug. »Oh dear, I am sure everything will turn out just fine, believe me. Jean and Marco are so lovely and nice and they love you as much as I do. They may need some time to get used to it – I mean, Levi was their teacher, too – but in the end they’ll just be happy for you.«

     [Name] exhaled slowly and shakily before nodding.

     »Don’t be scared anymore, okay?« She rubbed soothing circles on her back to help her calm down. »I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?«

     »They could abandon me and never talk to me again,« [Name] mumbled into Hanji’s shoulder.

     »Now you’re exaggerating, dear.«

     They stood like that for a while longer until Moblit came upstairs to see where the two women have gone since Hanji and Moblit had wanted to drop [Name] off at the café she was supposed to meet with Marco and Jean before heading out of town to meet with Hanji’s parents. When he saw the duo hugging, he considered that it would be the best to silently go back down into the kitchen but was stopped by Hanji, saying that he should come join the hug. He did – although a bit reluctant.

     [Name] never wanted to leave the warmth of their embrace. It was warm and loving and it felt so right and secure that she forgot all of her fears for just a brief moment. But that moment ended way too fast.

     During the car ride, [Name] felt nothing but sick. Her stomach hurt really bad and her head was buzzing unpleasantly while her hands were just cold and her body trembling. She had never been so nervous in her entire life. Hanji shot her a few concerned looks through the rear-vision mirror but said nothing. She knew that [Name] had do handle this problem herself and no good word or advice would help her in any way – she knew that Levi had tried, too and if he didn’t manage to calm her down, no one would.

 

     Moblit sighed when he saw [Name] enter the café. »What do you think?« was the only thing he asked, eyes still fixated on the entrance door. »It was kind of a shock for us but we’ve known Levi for a while now. I don’t know her friends very well but they all seem nice – I just don’t know how they will react to a student dating their former teacher.«

     Hanji said nothing for a while, only watching the grey sky and the cold December sun. »Well, Jean and Marco are incredibly caring and very protective of her. They love her a lot and would just want her to be happy. But to be honest – I can’t predict their reaction. [Name] is old enough to know what she wants and just seeing her texting Levi makes me believe that the two of them are just a match made in heaven but … I don’t know. I really hope that this will end well but I have a bad feeling about it all.« She took off her glasses and closed her eyes for a moment. »She deserves every bit of happiness in this world. I don’t want her to get hurt.«

     »I don’t want her to get hurt, either,« Moblit said and pulled back into the street. »She’s been through enough and Erwin’s reaction alone almost scared her to death. I don’t know whether she will just _break_ if they are harsh on her.«

     »It definitely would break her.« Hanji’s gaze was empty, somehow. »But we’ll just have to wait, I guess. Let’s just hope that everything will turn out right for her sake.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     Jean and Marco were not there yet when she sat down at a table in the corner of the small but lovely café. She didn’t even think about taking her coat off but her body trembled so bad that others would think she’d just freeze to death without it. [Name] felt lightheaded and she leaned back, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing. She tried to picture a beautiful landscape in her head, just like she had learned about a year ago whenever an anxiety attack was approaching. But today, it wasn’t working.

     Her mind was blank and too chaotic at the same time – the picture in her head was blurry and cold, nothing relaxing or beautiful. She decided to go over what she was going to tell her friends. She had made some notes the evening before, carefully selecting every word she wanted to tell them – but now she found it very hard to believe that only a single word would be right. She felt as if she wouldn’t be able to phrase it right, that they would get it wrong or whatever.

     She jumped when one of the waiters asked her what he could bring her and she ordered some herbal tea with a shaking voice before she finally got rid of her coat. One of her hands touched the necklace she got from Levi, the cold metal meeting her fingers and she took a deep breath, trying to calm down her racing heart. She didn’t think it would be that hard to tell her friends about her relationship with Levi. She had thought that it would be easier, that the stress of hiding her relationship would finally fade but it just got more and more complicated the more time passed. After Erwin’s reaction on Christmas Eve [Name] was scared – she hadn’t spoken to Erwin ever since that day and it felt like everything she’d built up in the last one and a half years was now shattering to pieces. What if she would lose her friends for good? Would they tell her that she was disgusting for dating someone that much older than her and her former teacher as well? Would they think that she was a whore for dating him, that she had slept with him for good grades, maybe? Would they report this to their old principal and send her back to school because it was cheating? Would Levi get fired and reported as a paedophile who had sex with one of his students?

     [Name] felt extremely sick. If her body wasn’t shaking so bad she would’ve jumped up and left the café immediately but she wasn’t sure if her legs would even carry her weight anymore. Why did she even think about such cruel scenarios? Marco and Jean had been her best friends for nearly a decade now, they wouldn’t think of her in a way like that, would they? After all they’d been through, they wouldn’t abandon her, would they?

     Her thoughts were a complete mess. She didn’t even manage to cry and because she was at a public café, she couldn’t even scream if she wanted to. She wanted to scream so that she could stop her mind from screaming at her. She wanted the world to stop spinning right then and there. If she could, she would’ve told the time to just freeze completely.

     »Miss?« She flinched and looked at the waiter whose eyes were filled with worry. »Here’s your tea. But you look horribly pale, are you alright?«

     She gulped. »I am alright,« her voice cracked, »I am just waiting for someone very important.«

     The waiter nodded. »Just let me know if you need something.« He started walking away. »Anything,« he added with a polite smile before heading off to take the next order.«

 

     [Name] had just taken a sip from her herbal tea when the door to the café opened and two very familiar figures entered. Her heart stopped. Jean and Marco were heading right in her direction, both of them smiling widely once they’d spotted her sitting in the corner of the establishment. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The couple came nearer and nearer, greeted her with bright eyes and a radiant smile before sitting down across from her.

     »We’re so sorry for being late,« Marco apologized, »it started snowing and the traffic was really bad, plus, we had a really hard time finding a parking lot.«

     And before she knew it, the time had come back to normal and someone was shaking her shoulder. »[Nickname], are you still with us? You seem a bit spaced out.«

     »Huh? What? Sorry,« she said, shaking her head and faking a smile. Jean withdrew his hand and sat back next to Marco. »I was just, uh, thinking about something. How have your holidays been so far? I heard your mother threw a tantrum because … What was it again?«

     Marco sighed deeply. »Oh, I don’t know. My mother always nags on and on and no one really knows why. My brother and my father were really angry at her for ruining Christmas Eve. Thank God I was with Jean at his place, I don’t think it would’ve done us a favour to spend the night at my place.«

     »I am sorry to hear that.«

     »Well, we’ve known his mother for so long now, something like that shouldn’t surprise us.« Jean leaned back and scratched the back of his head. »But what about you, [Name]? I heard you spent the evening with some of our old teachers.«

     [Name] let out a quite nervous giggle. »It was a nice evening,« it wasn’t even a lie, »and since I live with Hanji, it wasn’t even weird. We get along quite well.«

     »Are Ms. Zoe and Mr. Berner still not living together?« Marco asked before calling a waiter to their table, ordering a coffee for Jean and tea for himself. »They’ve been together for nearly a year now, haven’t they?«

     »No, not yet,« [Name] answered, glad that the conversation went so lightly, though her heart was still racing with anxiety, »but they consider moving in with each other since they basically spend every minute of their free time together. Since the beginning of summer, Moblit even spent every night at our place, I think he will move in this spring.«

     Jean laughed. »About time. A kid in the neighbourhood has Ms. Zoe as her chemistry teacher and she thinks it’s just downright annoying that she makes heart-eyes at her laboratory assistant.«

     The three friends laughed. [Name] felt a bit better since they weren’t asking for the reason for their meeting. Maybe she didn’t even have to tell them right now if they weren’t asking.

 

     They talked about their Christmas experiences and other things a little longer. Jean and [Name] saw each other every day since they studied at the same university but she didn’t have that much time to meet with Marco since he was aiming to become a teacher and as busy as Jean and [Name]. She managed to calm down little by little the more time passed.

     She just forgot about the reason she wanted to meet them today when Jean suddenly said, »Say, didn’t you want to tell us something important? I remember you saying something a few days ago when you wanted to meet us here.«

     And all the anxiety came back within a mere second. [Name]’s face turned white and she started shaking badly all over again. »Uhm,« she started, suddenly not able to remember a single word she had thought about the evening before. »You know, well I … The thing is …«

     »[Name], did something happen?« Marco sounded very concerned and serious. »You suddenly seem like you’re going to pass out on us any second. Are you alright?«

     »Y-Yes, don’t worry. It’s just I’m … well, how do I phrase it …«

     »Go slow, [Name], you don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready yet or something,« Jean said though his look said otherwise. It was a look that told her that he was actually really worried. »Drink some more tea and try it again if you want to.«

     She did. With trembling fingers, she lifted the cup up to her lips and took a small sip before settling it back down carefully. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to rearrange her mind. It was now or never. She had to do this. She could do this. They were her friends, everything would be fine. »The thing is … I am dating someone …« Her voice was nothing but a whisper.

     »Really?« Marco’s face lit up and his eyes began to sparkle. »Oh my God, [Name], that is so awesome to hear! I am really, really happy for you!« He took one of her hands in his, smiling at her.

     Jean, too, seemed delighted. He grinned. »Our little girl, off to steal the heart of an innocent man. But I am so happy for you, [Nickname]. Who is he, by the way? Do we know him? I hope he is nice and treats you right or else he will get to know me better.«

     »No need to get violent, he’s lovely and treats me right.« The first step was taken and it wasn’t that bad. They were happy she had found someone. »And well, you kind of do know him …« It couldn’t go that bad now, could it?

     »Oh?« Marco seemed really curious. »Who is it, [Nickname]?«

     »I-It’s someone from school …«

     »Armin?« Jean asked immediately but [Name] shook her head.

     »Listen, I am … If I don’t tell you this now you’re forever going to hate me and I don’t want that so … I,« her voice cracked again, »I am dating … Mr. Ackerman …«

 

     Somehow, the temperature dropped. The smiles on Jean and Marco’s faces faded slowly and they looked at her with a mixture of shock and utter horror. It seemed as if everything just went silent and the only thing [Name] was able to hear was the rapid beating of her heart.

     »I beg your pardon?« Jean was the first one to find his voice. »You’re dating our former maths teacher? Seriously? You’re joking, right? Because I can tell you, this is not funny.«

     »I am not joking,« she said on the verge of tears, »I am dating Levi since four months now.«

     Marco kept staring at her with his mouth opened slightly. Jean had his fists clenched. »[Name], I can’t believe this. Why? And why didn’t you tell us sooner? Were you two actually dating while you were still his student?«

     »No!« she said with tears in her eyes. »Why are you so angry with me?«

     »I have no words for that. I just – no, I’m going.« Jean stood up and literally stormed out of the café while [Name] started crying.

     »M-Marco,« she sobbed. »I-I am sorry.«

     Marco finally snapped out of it. »[Nickname], I am the one who should apologize. I don’t know why Jean was so harsh on you.« He stood up and sat next to his friend, pulling her close. »It kind of was a shock but well, you’re not his student anymore and you’re of age so I don’t have the right to criticise you. And Mr. Ackerman always treated you right, I always had a feeling that he liked you. It will certainly take some time to get used to it but I don’t see any reason to be upset. I am so sorry, [Name], I will talk to Jean. Do you want to call someone to get you? I can wait here.«

     »No, I will be fine on my own … I need some time to myself … Thank you, Marco.«

 

     After Marco was gone, [Name] paid for all of their drinks and took her phone. »Levi?« Her voice was hoarse from crying. »Could you come and get me, perhaps? Hanji and Moblit are out of town.« No one said anything for a moment. »And Jean hates me now. He just downright hates me …«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart hurts so bad, I am so sorry for you and reader-chan as well ... I always feel like such a bad person whenever I write angst. Okay, I am kind of a bit lost for the next chapter and I am really not sure if I can make it this time.  
> Just view my profile for updates!
> 
> Thank you for reading, have a nice week and take care of yourselves ♥


	5. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just so sorry for not posting last week! But I have so much going on right now plus I kind of fell into a hole last week and it took me a while to figure things out but I am doing pretty fine now. And since none of my friends seem to bother about me anymore, bear with me for a moment as I tell you what went wrong:  
> You remember that I fell in love with a professor of mine, yeah? Well, turns out that the feelings on my part weren't that strong after meeting him on my birthday. I kind of fell in love with the feeling of someone interested in me but not him as a person and I feel terrible about it. The problem is: He fell in love with me. I ended things pretty quickly as to not hurt him and I was being really nice to him. So, last week he wrote me a hateful message, saying that I should be proud for destroying his life and that he won't be able to love anymore. He said many more things before I blocked his number. I was so sorry for hurting him and apologized one hundred times and then he hurts me in a way like that, it really made me cry.  
> But that wasn't all. I had a (male) friend I wasn't on good terms with for over half a year now. I didn't tell anyone because I wanted to solve this problem on my own. Last week on Monday we met for a final talk and we started to argue before he just hit me. To all my male readers if I have some: You don't hit a woman no matter what. My glasses broke in the process as well and I couldn't see shit for four days.  
> I had an awful week but don't worry, I am okay ♥
> 
> So, let's enjoy this chapter, or at least, let's try ♥
> 
> The song is "So cold" by Ben Cocks.

_You caused my heart to bleed and_

_You still owe me a reason_

_I can’t figure out why …_

_Oh, you can’t hear me cry_

_See my dreams all die_

_From where you’re standing_

_On your won_

_It’s so quiet here and I feel so cold_

_This house no longer_

_Feels like home_

_Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, »Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.«_

 

 

     [Name] cried quietly during the car ride but said nothing and Levi didn’t know where to begin. Everything [Name] had said on the phone was that she needed a ride home and that one of her friends would hate her now. Levi had been in such a hurry that he didn’t even put a coat on before leaving the house to get his crying girlfriend. It had started snowing softly, the sparkling white snowflakes slowly moving outside, a soft breeze carrying them all over the town. Levi felt lost and powerless. It was the first time in a really long while that he didn’t know how to make his girlfriend feel better. He knew that everything he said would probably only make it worse – after all, he didn’t know her friends as well as she did.

     Nevertheless, he was upset. All of her friends clearly knew that [Name] was more fragile than she wanted to admit. Every impact on her soul could just completely shatter her and Levi didn’t want to imagine what could happen if she did. She already had a history of self-harm, all of them were painfully aware of that. Levi even more so – whenever they were intimate, she simply couldn’t look at the scars on her arms. Every time she got a glimpse of them, she nearly started crying and it hurt Levi because he knew he could do nothing to make them go away. She was not only ashamed of those scars but they reminded her of all the bad things she had had to go through the last one and a half years.

     Levi caught a glimpse of [Name] when he turned left, the tears freely flowing down her pale cheeks and her lips quivering because she held in all of her sobs. She seemed so small and broken in the passenger seat and Levi just wanted to slam the break and take her into his arms, hugging her so tight so that all of her broken pieces would fit together once again. But [Name] was one of those who needed some time alone before she could freely discuss her problems and she would probably reject his touch before she wasn’t ready to share her pain with him. It had been okay for Levi so far because in the end she always came to him whenever she was bothered by something – but it had been a long time since he’d seen her so _broken_.

     Somehow, he had the urge to scream. To scream at Kirstein for hurting his friend so badly. For letting his emotions get the better of him. For breaking [Name] even further. But most of all, he wanted to scream at himself for not being wise enough to have the right words now. He knew there were people who did. Hanji, Erwin, even Mike and Moblit and Nanaba – but not him. He had always been bad when it came to comfort someone and he just wasn’t good with words in either situation. He was stoic and unlikeable and his choice of words made others cry constantly, how on earth could he find something to take [Name]’s pain away? Levi had never felt so insecure before. The love of his life was slowly breaking apart right next to him while he was just silently driving them home. He was such an idiot.

     The longer they drove, the worse the weather got. It would forever remain a mystery to Levi why the way home seemed so endless, as if fate had decided to let them both suffer for eternity. Their relationship had been great until Christmas. Now it felt like they had made a terribly wrong decision. Was [Name] ready for further reactions? Was he ready for all that would happen? He didn’t know anymore. He was always the confident one, encouraging [Name] to overcome her fears and become stronger. He was the one who stood tall when she couldn’t. He was older, had a well-payed job, he was a respected adult, he had more experience – but nothing could’ve prepared him for the feeling of being so lost that he experienced right now. They had made a wrong decision. He had made a wrong decision and he hated himself for that. _He_ was the reason [Name] was crying. Just because he was dating her, Erwin and Jean had hurt her. It was all his fault.

     Realization hit him and his heart stopped for a moment. He nearly slammed the break right then and there but he got a hold of himself and slowed down instead. Was he seriously thinking about something like that? Was he seriously just about to think that [Name] should’ve never fallen in love with him? This thought was terrifying. [Name] was his sunshine, his everything. He couldn’t imagine to spend the rest of his life without her. He loved her. And he knew that she loved him, too.

     He didn’t know what to think anymore. This situation was unbearable and painful and he felt awful for letting such horrible thoughts reign his mind, even for just a second. He just wanted to get out of the car, wrap his arms around his girlfriend and never let her go again.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Right after Marco had left the café, he had looked for his boyfriend. His car was still where they had parked earlier but Jean was nowhere in sight. Marco felt anger rising in his gut. He loved Jean more than anything else in the world but he hated it when his hot-headed attitude got the better of him – especially in a situation like that and in front of [Name] as well. Maybe Jean didn’t realise, but he had genuinely hurt his friend and Marco wanted him to apologize immediately. But first of all, he needed to find him and understand why he had even gotten so angry in the first place.

     »Jean!« he shouted, hoping to get a quick answer. It had started snowing and he was left without an umbrella or even enough money to take the bus or a taxi since he had left his belongings in Jean’s car. »Jean!« he called a second time. Marco was worried. Where could he have run off to? The area wasn’t very familiar to him and he had a hard time not getting lost while looking for his boyfriend.

     »Jean!« he tried again but without any response. His anger faded but was replaced with worry and panic. Jean could be hot-headed, that much was true, but he wouldn’t do anything stupid, would he? As the snowing got worse, Marco panicked even more. Since he failed to reach his boyfriend on his phone, he just had absolutely no idea where to look for him. »Jean, I beg you!«

     Marco was out of breath with his face red from the cold and the constant running when he reached a little park fifteen minutes away from the café. A thin layer of snow had covered the town by now, the sky was cold and grey, the afternoon slowly passing by. He was on the verge of tears. Jean was such an idiot for making him so worried and angry and he would tell him that once he’d finally had him back in his arms safely. How could anyone be so stupid and run away after such an outburst?

     He was cold. His hands were numb because he hadn’t taken any gloves with him and he didn’t have the right shoes to run around in the snow, his feet were cold and soaked by now and so was his jacket. But he didn’t care. As long as he would be able to find Jean, he would gladly fall ill. »Jean, please! Where are you?« he called one last time before the tears just started to flow down his cheeks. He had left [Name] alone at the café and now he couldn’t find his boyfriend who clearly needed someone to talk to and a smack on the back of his head, what kind of human being was he? It had been a while since Marco had felt so horrible. The last time was after [Name]’s mother had died and he couldn’t help her. He had felt so weak and powerless back then and now it was just all coming back to him as if he had to watch a horrible movie all over again and again.

     »J-Jean …,« he sobbed. »Ple-hease …«

 

     Jean himself had watched his boyfriend’s emotional breakdown with horror from a little distance. The moment Marco had reached the park, he was so close to Jean but couldn’t see him since the latter had hidden behind a tree. Jean was frozen in place, his eyes wide with shock when he saw his boyfriend starting to cry and say his name over and over again. Jean’s heart hurt – not just because he was the cause of his boyfriend crying in the middle of the town. _He had hurt [Name]_. He had been mean to her. He had made her cry. And the worst part of it all was that he didn’t even know why he had snapped at her.

     Slowly, he made his way over to his crying boyfriend, his heart beating so fast he was out of breath when he finally reached Marco. There was no sound coming over his lips but Marco noticed him anyway. The tears were still flowing down his cheeks when he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and Jean’s heart broke a bit by looking into them. The feeling of guilt towards Marco and [Name] was making it hard for him to breathe. His throat felt tight.

     »I am so sorry,« he finally managed to choke out after another minute of deadly silence. »Gosh, I am so, so sorry!« A fat tear rolled down his cheek which had turned red from the cold. »Marco, I am so sorry.« In an instant, Marco threw his arms around Jean, pressing him close and holding onto him for dear life, as if he could disappear again if he didn’t hold him tight enough. Jean’s cold hands found Marco’s back, gripping his jacket so tight his knuckles turned white and buried his face into his shoulder. »I was so stupid,« he cried, sobbing for all he was worth, »I feel so bad about what I have done. I don’t even know why I did what I did! Gosh, I am so stupid! I hurt you. And I hurt [Name] so fucking bad, I can’t look her in the eye anymore. She will hate me, Marco! I am so sorry.« He slurred the words through tears and sobs but Marco understood everything. He decided that it would not be necessary to smack him on the head, he’d learned his lesson. But that didn’t change the fact that Jean’s behaviour earlier had really affected [Name]. She was already broken but he feared that Jean’s outburst had shattered her beyond repair. He hoped it hadn’t.

     »Jean,« Marco sniffed, »you need to apologize to [Name] as fast as possible. She believes that you hate her and that she has lost you for good. What you did was not okay by any means Jean and you know that, too. And you can’t expect her to forgive you so easily but you need to talk to her. Not over text, not over the phone but in person. She needs to know that you are truly sorry for hurting her, dear. She loves you and you love her and I don’t want this beautiful friendship to shatter.« Marco wiped the tears off his boyfriend’s face. His eyes were all red and swollen. He placed a kiss on his forehead. »You need to make this up, Jean.«

     »I don’t want her to hate me and of course I don’t hate her, either! I feel so stupid and guilty …«

     Marco took one of Jean’s hand in his own. »Let’s head home, hm? Give her some space Jean but keep in mind what I said. Apologize as soon as possible and do it in person.« They started walking back to Jean’s car. »I’ll make us some tea and you go and take a hot shower before you catch a cold.«

     Jean said nothing in response and simply nodded, gripping his boyfriend’s hand tighter. He screwed up. And in front of [Name] as well. He was ashamed of himself, the guilt was making him feel sick and the tears were still burning behind his eyes. He was just a jerk not worthy of such a loving friend like [Name] was. She would hate him. She would just completely hate him for the rest of her life.

 

✿✿✿

 

     When they reached Levi’s house, [Name] stepped in first, Levi following shortly after her. She still hadn’t spoken a single word and Levi didn’t dare to do so. He wanted her to speak to him. He wanted her to scream and cry and everything but he couldn’t stand the silence she was torturing him with. He would’ve gladly taken every blame on him if that meant that she would break the silence.

     But just as he closed the front door behind him, [Name] practically threw herself into his arms, making him stumble backwards, his back hitting the wooden door. Her arms were around his neck and shoulders, her hands gripping the fabric of his sweater tightly while she started crying for all she was worth. Burying her face into the crook of his neck, he felt her tears on his clothes and even his skin. [Name] was shaking badly and he placed his hands on her waist, pulling her close and holding her tight.

     »I am sorry, [Name],« he whispered, » I don’t have the right words to make you feel better. I can just tell you that everything will be alright. I am sure that your friend doesn’t hate you. How could someone hate such a beautiful soul as yourself? Don’t blame it on you, [Name]. I love you.« Somehow, he was glad. He had expected her to not allow him to come near her for the next few hours but she still sought comfort from him. He exhaled shakily, rubbing soothing circles on her lower back, one hand finding the back of her head to make her feel safe and protected.

     »I’ll always be there for you, [Name],« he continued, »I will never leave you and I will be there for you no matter what. Whatever problem you’re facing, I will be by your side.«

     »D-Don’t leave me,« she sobbed, »you’re the love of m-my life!«

     Levi’s eyes widened for a brief moment before he closed them, pulling [Name] impossibly closer to him. »I won’t leave you,« he whispered, »I will never leave your side. I love you so much and I will love you for the rest of my life. I promise, [Name], I promise.«

 

     The snowing had ended. The night was clear and the moon shone on the town, making the snow glow like hundreds of fireflies were hidden under the white blanket. Holding each other through the night, Marco, [Name], Jean and Levi thought about what happened throughout the day. Neither of them could sleep that night. And though no one remained alone, all of them felt cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart hurts again, but at least Jean had come to his senses!  
> I hope you could enjoy this chapter! Also, wish me luck for my exam on Friday, I can't grasp the subject at all and I will fail miserably but I am done and demotivated and I don't care anymore ...
> 
> Have a nice week and take good care of yourselves ♥♥♥
> 
> (If you want to stay updated on my stories, I own a website! I put the link in my bio ♥)


	6. Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, you guys are amazing and I sometimes feel like I don't deserve you as my readers. Your words have literally saved my life. Thank you so much for every kind comment I recieved, I felt so happy and I am really feeling better about myself and the whole situation, knowing that some beautiful souls out there have my back. I love all of you ♥  
> I can not offer very much so I just put as much effort and fluffiness into this chapter as I could. Please, enjoy it to the fullest! ♥♥♥

     Around four or five o’clock in the morning, [Name] had been finally able to fall asleep. She was just downright exhausted from the emotional stress she was going through and Levi couldn’t blame her for that. After he had made sure that she was asleep, he also allowed himself to do so, holding her close to his chest and listening to her even breathing before he drifted off into a light slumber.

     He awoke just a few hours later but decided that he would just continue to hold [Name] instead of making breakfast like he usually did. Before they went to bed yesterday, [Name] had told him about what had happened at the café and Levi seriously couldn’t understand why Jean had acted they way he did. That it wouldn’t be easy for them to accept that he was [Name]’s partner was something that he had known from the very beginning but he didn’t think Jean would be someone to lose his temper like that. Whatever reason it was, it was no excuse for what he had done to [Name]. Hopefully, his boyfriend had taught him a lesson he would never forget.

     It was quarter past nine when [Name] groaned in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes. Levi brushed some loose strands out of her face and kissed her forehead. »Good morning,« he said softly as she nuzzled her face back into his chest, »did you sleep well?«

     »Not really,« she murmured sleepily, »did you manage to fall asleep? You didn’t have to stay up all night just because I couldn’t sleep.«

     He continued to brush through her hair with one hand while occasionally kissing the top of her head. »I wanted to make sure that you are okay,« he answered, »I know you wouldn’t wake me up if you started crying again or if you wanted to talk. And I don’t need much sleep anyway, I am fine. I am more worried about you, [Name]. Are you okay?«

     She didn’t answer. She hugged him tighter and took a deep breath before she said, »I will be.« She knew that it was okay not to be fine at the moment. She knew that Levi wouldn’t describe her as hysterical, overreacting or too emotional. She knew that he was understanding and caring and would never judge her. And those were just a few reasons why she loved him so much.

     Levi continued to sooth and kiss her, simply enjoying the fact that she talked to him about her concerns. No longer were the times when she would keep everything to herself up to the point where she would just downright collapse. He was glad. It meant that she trusted him and felt comfortable about telling him. She wanted to hear his opinion and his view of a certain situation and he was glad whenever he was able to help. It was like another big step in their relationship. They got through difficult situations _together_. They talked when something was wrong. And they would find a way through this.

     »Do you want breakfast?« he asked after a while. It was nearly ten o’clock by now and he had to admit that he was quite hungry. [Name] usually didn’t eat when she was emotionally unstable but he didn’t really appreciate that. He had bad memories of her lying on the floor motionless with blood surrounding her.

     »Yes, I could have something. A toast, maybe,« she said and yawned. They entangled from each other and the bedsheets, got up and made the bed before heading downstairs. [Name] clearly didn’t sleep enough and Levi thought about getting her back to bed sometime in the afternoon while he made some tea for the two of them. She was invited to a birthday party in the afternoon and she wouldn’t have the energy to get through the night if she didn’t lie down for another two or three hours.

     Their first meal of the day was silent for the most part since both of them were too tired to come up with something really interesting to talk about. [Name] nibbled on a single slice of buttery toast, hardly getting it down and Levi’s hunger seemed to have faded, too.

     »[Name], this sucks,« he finally said, after finishing his cup of black tea. »Could we talk? University, Hanji, anything, just talk to me. I can’t stand the silence. I know you’re sad and hurt and I don’t have the right words to make it better but I … I don’t know, I want to help you because I love you and-« He was cut off by her soft lips on his own.

     »Levi, it’s fine. You do help me by just being there. By just ensuring me that I am not left alone.« She smiled at him. »And sorry, I was just … I don’t know what to talk about. I don’t always feel the need to talk since I am just so comfortable without talking when it’s with you. You usually prefer silence but I didn’t think you would actually want me to talk nonstop.«

     Stunned, Levi was left speechless. Not because of her words, not because of the kiss – [Name] was smiling. And the smile was real and genuine and warm and Levi hadn’t seen anything so beautiful in a really long time. He reached out to brush some of her loose strands behind her ear. »Don’t stop,« he whispered.

     »What?« she asked confused.

     »Smiling,« he breathed before he leaned in to kiss her with all the passion that seemed to lack in their relationship for weeks now.

 

     Around lunchtime, [Name] had made a decision. Too scared to run into Jean at Bertolt’s birthday party in the evening, she called the latter to wish him a happy birthday and excuse herself for the night. It sure wasn’t an easy decision, she loved Bertolt and she already had a present for him but the thought of meeting Jean freaked her out. While Levi was cooking their lunch in the kitchen, [Name] sat on the sofa in the living room, looking for Bert’s number with trembling fingers.

     »Hey, [Name],« she heard him say cheerfully and almost regretted her choice to make a phone call. »How are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in a while.«

     »Happy birthday, Bertolt,« she said with a small smile on her lips. It was calming to hear his voice and she was happy that he seemed to be alright. »I am good, thank you.«

     »Haha, thank you for that. But why call now when you’re coming over tonight?«

     She took a deep breath. »Ah, yes, about tonight … You see, well, I am not sure I can make it so I wanted to call you and say happy birthday before it’s too late, you know?« She laughed nervously.

     It was silent at the other end of the line. [Name] didn’t dare to speak another word. »[Name],« he said and sounded so serious, [Name] shot straight up, »you know, Marco called me last night. He said that something had happened between you and Jean and that you’ll most likely tell me that you can’t make it. When I asked further, he explained everything to me.« [Name]’s heart nearly stopped. »Don’t worry, [Nickname], I won’t judge you for who you’re with. But please, come over tonight, we will miss you if you don’t.«

     »I-I don’t think that it would be a good idea …« She was somehow relieved that he knew what was going on and that he was still on friendly terms with her. But she wasn’t sure if the others would react the same.

     »Jean is truly sorry, [Name],« Bertolt said, »and he wants to make things up with you. We all know that apologizing isn’t really his thing but he loves you and he feels terrible for what he has done. So, please.« She hated it when someone begged because she wasn’t able to say no at that point.

     She sighed deeply. »Why am I so easy to convince? Fine, fine, I’ll be there.«

     »You’re doing the right thing, [Name], trust me. I’ll see you later, have a nice afternoon.«

     The moment she hung up, Levi entered the living room, telling his girlfriend that lunch was ready. »So, did you tell your friend that you won’t be coming over tonight?« he asked cautiously.

     »Well, yes, but apparently, Marco has called him last night and told him that I would do what I did before. And he told me that Jean is sorry for what he did and that he wants to make things up with me.« [Name] sat down next to Levi. »Am I that easy to read?«

     »No offense, but you kind of are,« Levi admitted, kissing her cheek before beginning to eat. [Name] groaned in response. »You’ll have a great night, [Name],« he added. »You’ll meet all of your friends, you’ll listen to music, you’ll fool around and that gives you the opportunity to relax and think about something else for once. And once it’s over, just give me a call and I’ll take you home, okay?«

     [Name] stabbed the food on her plate with her fork. »Fine, fine, I get it …«

     »I know that you hate to be confronted with a situation like that but I also know that you are a strong girl and that you can face it. Tell him how you feel about his outburst and tell him that he hurt you. He has to hear from you how he’s made you feel. And I think he will understand and he will definitely apologize. Trust me, [Nickname].«

 

✿✿✿

 

     Several hours later, Levi dropped her off at Bertolt’s place where she was greeted by Armin, Mikasa and Eren who had just arrived. Hugs and kisses were exchanged since they hadn’t seen each other a lot in the last few months. It was especially nice to see Armin who had cut his hair short and grown a lot since she had last seen him. She had to stand on her tiptoes now to kiss his cheek and he had to bend slightly.

     »Why am I the only one who has stopped growing? You are all gigantic compared to me,« she complained with a smile since she had to look up at all three of them.

     Eren put an arm around her shoulders. »You have to see the positive aspects, [Name], you don’t have to buy new clothes all the time because they are expensive as hell. Let’s get inside, I am freezing.« He headed to the front door, simply taking [Name] with him.

     Bertolt opened them, shaking hands with the guys and hugging the girls, inviting them inside where pretty much everyone else was already seated, drinking, eating and chatting. [Name] handed Bertolt his present. Bertolt got into a conservatory where he was in the double bass class and [Name] had bought him a book for rehearsal. Bert had just given her something alcohol-free to drink when [Name] was gently pulled aside by Marco.

     »[Name], I am so sorry about yesterday,« he began, »are you alright?«

     She nodded and smiled a bit. »I am good. Uhm, is Jean not here?«

     »He’s coming later,« Marco answered with a worried expression on his face, »he said that he had something to deal with before joining the party and told me to just leave without him. I’ve been here for about thirty minutes and he still hasn’t shown up. But, [Nickname], he will-«

     »It’s okay, Marco,« she interrupted him and put a hand on his upper arm, »I am fine. I don’t know what he wants to tell me, but it’ll be okay.« She smiled at him and gave him a brief hug. »Thank you for still being my friend, Marco. I was really scared to tell you two about the relationship I have with Levi and one of my worst nightmares came true by Jean being mad at me but I am so, so glad that you are still my best friend.«

     Marco put his arms around the fragile little girl. »Of course, you’re still my best friend. I love you, [Nickname] and I would never abandon you. Whatever guy you fall in love with, as long as he treats you right, I have no problem with it. And Jean is not mad at you. But he’ll talk to you about it, I am sure.«

     »Hey, Marco,« someone yelled from across the room, »stop smooching [Name] and get back here!« Reiner waved at him and grinned while Marco just sighed and let go of his friend. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed back to Reiner, continuing their conversation from before.

     »Had a busy few days?« Armin had approached her, holding a glass of coke in one of his hands, offering [Name] to sit down with him. »We didn’t speak much lately, I kind of missed you.«

     She chuckled. »I really missed you, too, Armin. But yes, Christmas holidays haven’t been so relaxing. I didn’t have much time or energy to do anything else than lie in my bed and doodle some dumb sketches. What have you been up to?«

     »Nothing much, really,« he answered, »I just enjoyed being at home for some time. I’ve visited my grandparents and some other relatives and hung out with Mikasa and Eren. I was actually going to call you but I figured you’d be tired and wanted some rest instead of me trying to convince you to do anything.«

     »You don’t bother me,« she said with a chuckle, »I’d love to spend some time with you.« But before [Name] could continue, a figure appeared in front of her which made her nearly choke on her own words.

 

     »Can I speak to you for a second, [Name]?«

     It was Jean. He didn’t seem like his usual confident self, he was rubbing his neck and not daring to look [Name] in the eye. She knew he was sorry. She handed Armin her drink, saying that they would be right back. Jean led her to the kitchen where it was quieter so they would have some privacy.

     »[Name], I don’t want to beat around the bush, I am sorry for what I did yesterday. I am really genuinely sorry. I know that I hurt you with my stupid behaviour and that it’s not okay what I did. There is no excuse for that, this is my fault alone and has nothing to do with you or the fact that you are dating our former teacher. I really have no explanation as to why I said what I said. My behaviour was inappropriate and I don’t expect you to forgive me. I acted like a heartless fool. I am just so, so sorry, [Name] …« With his head hung low, Jean clearly felt uncomfortable.

     [Name] approached him, wrapping a hand around his clenched fist. »You did hurt me, Jean,« she spoke truthfully, »but I still love you. You’re one of the people I love and appreciate the most. It’s not okay what you did, but I forgive you. I can somehow understand your reaction even though you don’t. Don’t worry about it, Jean, I don’t hate you. I am just glad that you don’t hate me, either.«

     This gave Jean the last straw. He pulled [Name] into a nearly bone-breaking hug, some tears escaping his eyes. »I could never hate you. I am so sorry, [Name].«

     »I know,« she whispered, rubbing his back. How could she be mad at him when he was so sorry? [Name] maybe was too kind and soft-hearted for a world like this but she knew that forgiving a friend who was truly sorry wasn’t weakness. She knew that friendship was some of the most precious things life would offer and she cared more about those who were close to her heart than herself. She had been hurt and it wasn’t okay but it would be fine. Time maybe didn’t heal all wounds but some of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, university is killing me but I try to finish the next chapter until next week!  
> Also, thank you for all your support, I love you qwq
> 
> Take care of yourselves and I wish you a good week! ♥♥


	7. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK!  
> And I apologize for the long wait. There is a reason - well, actually a few - I was gone for so long and I am here to explain and I will also tell you how I will continue with this project.  
> So, university started in October and the workload is sheer ridiculous. I barely even have time to sleep and I don't know currently how I will keep up with this enormous amount of work.  
> Second, I've had a breakdown shortly after university started. My depression was back. And it hit me really, really hard. I was hospitalized for the better part of two weeks and they took literally everything from me - my laptop, my phone, I wasn't even allowed a pen and some paper because they thought I would cause myself harm - which I didn't and i didn't even think about it. The time at the hospital nearly broke me. My therapist was an asshole and I just wanted to get out of there - which I finally did after they treated me like scum. After I was out of the hospital, I had to catch up on all the work I had missed out on.  
> But now I am back!
> 
> Guys, I wanted to thank you. The only good thing that happened to me in the last few years were you, my dear readers. I thought I would never meet people as kind-hearted as all of you. You deserve so much love and appreciation and this story is just a small gift to express my gratitude to have you. You are amazing and I love all of you ♥  
> But enough with the talk, enjoy the chapter!

     The face in the mirror was smiling. Almost forgotten were those dull eyes and the broken ghost of a smile on her beautiful features. For the first time in the last few months, she felt truly relieved and relaxed about the current situation. She took the brush to do her hair properly, still smiling upon the reflection in the mirror. She had decided – she would let all of her remaining friends know that she was happily dating Levi. And she felt good about it.

     [Name] had deadass fallen asleep two hours into the party against Armin’s shoulder. He had just laughed and Marco had been kind enough to give Hanji a call so she would get her and take her home to bed. Moblit had arrived fifteen minutes later and apologized to Bertolt, who carried a sleeping [Name] to the car. He had wished [Name]’s friends a good night and took her back home where Hanji was already waiting for them, smiling to herself as Moblit carefully carried the sleeping girl upstairs. It had been her own fault, really. Levi had begged her to take a two-hour-nap before going to the party but [Name] had refused and well, that was the result.

     She woke up the next morning, confused how she got home the previous night and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before checking her phone. Reading the text messages, she slowly understood how the evening went on and she laughed a bit and decided to text Levi to apologize for not taking a nap. Hanji had sneaked a picture of her sleeping soundly and sent it to Levi, apparently.

     After that, [Name] had gone downstairs for breakfast, telling Hanji and Moblit how the evening progressed and both of them were so happy for her, they nearly cried. It had felt like a lot of weight had dropped off her heart and shoulders and she happily ate her breakfast, bringing another smile to Hanji and Moblit’s faces. It was so nice to see [Name] so relaxed and happy.

     [Name] spent the rest of the day helping Hanji to clean out the storage room while Moblit prepared lunch, and doodling some sketches in the afternoon before she got up to take a quick shower and get ready for their annual meeting to celebrate the new year all together. The sky was clear tonight, a deep shade of blue mixed with some lighter tones and the bright moon and millions of stars painted on it. The light of the full moon made the snow shine like a field of crystals and [Name] took some photos to have a chance to make a picture out of it later.

 

     And here she was now, brushing her hair with a smile on her face while she waited for Mikasa to pick her up. Jean had offered her to take her like last year but Mikasa had already asked her and [Name] didn’t want to be rude. And it was a pretty good opportunity to catch up with Mikasa, too, since they hadn’t seen each other in a very long time. [Name] hummed silently while applying some mascara and a bit of lip gloss. She truly felt great and happy.

     She was about to leave the bathroom when she heard the doorbell ring. Checking her watch, she noticed that Mikasa was a bit early but she shrugged and grabbed her bag from her room before she headed downstairs where she could already hear Hanji talking to someone.

     »Oh, Armin!« To her surprise, it was Armin standing in the living room and not Mikasa. He smiled gently upon seeing his friend. »I didn’t expect you here. Did something happen to Mikasa?« [Name] asked with concern in her voice but Armin just shook his head.

     »Mikasa’s waiting outside in the car,« he replied, »her own broke just hours ago and I offered to take you all. By the way, you look as beautiful as ever, [Name].« Hanji giggled and wiggled her eyebrows before she headed to the kitchen.

     [Name] rolled her eyes at her. »Thanks, Armin, you look really handsome yourself tonight. I forgot to mention it yesterday but that hairstyle really suits you.«

     After saying goodbye to Hanji and Moblit, Armin and [Name] headed outside, Armin leading her to his car and even holding the door open for her.

     »Hey, [Name], sorry that I didn’t text you about the new circumstances.« Mikasa sat in the backseat next to Eren. »Unfortunately, my car broke a few hours ago.«

     »Oh, that’s okay, I was just concerned for a second that something might have happened to you.« [Name] smiled. »As long as we all are okay and make it to our little party, everything is fine, isn’t it?« She fastened her seatbelt. »And good evening, Eren.«

     Eren looked up from his phone and flashed her a bright grin. »Hey, [Name]. I hope you won’t fall asleep tonight.« He laughed while [Name]’s cheeks turned red. »I would’ve driven us all but my dad didn’t let me borrow the car for the night because he’s on duty.«

     [Name] sighed. »Historia and I are the only ones left without a drivers licence, aren’t we?«

     »Don’t you want to make it, [Name]?« Armin asked after he pulled back into the street. »It comes in pretty handy at times like these. And you wouldn’t have to rely on the bus or others to take you.«

     »Well, I do consider making it but the lessons are really expensive. I can’t currently afford them and I don’t want Hanji to pay for them, either. She’s already making sure I eat enough and she buys my tools for school, I don’t want her to pay more for me than she already does. Since I have a full scholarship, I can save some money every month so I can make my drivers licence during summer holidays, hopefully.«

     Armin nodded. The rest of the ride was mostly quiet. They occasionally talked about university and caught up on the things they had missed about each other. Armin indeed studied astrophysics like he had always wanted and [Name] giggled upon hearing him talk about his classes while Eren in the back looked like Armin was talking Chinese to him. Mikasa attended cooking school together with Ymir, apparently, and [Name] was surprised to hear that. Mikasa had always been a fantastic cook but [Name] didn’t know she was really _that_ good. Eren had taken a year off since he didn’t know what he wanted to study, yet. His father wanted him to get into medical school but he was reluctant about it. He worked at a café nearby and [Name] – who also worked at a café – promised to visit him during the holidays.

 

     Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the parking lot and headed to their usual venue. It seemed like they were the last ones to arrive and they exchanged kisses and hugs to greet each other even though they had been together like this not even twenty-four hours ago. It was special, though. Since they all chose their own paths and didn’t have the chance to see each other every other day, they cherished every festivity they had to meet. Friendships like those lasted forever, they said.

     [Name] was especially happy to see Historia since they had always been very good friends. The two girls hugged each other for at least five minutes straight. It had been way too long since they had properly talked to each other. Historia went to nursery school and had a very busy schedule, so it was a bit impossible to meet during the week. [Name] herself worked during the weekends and there was just no time to hang out with each other.

     Ymir grinned and ruffled through [Name]’s hair before putting an arm around her girlfriend. »I heard you fell asleep yesterday, [Nickname]. I told Bertl that his party was boring as shit but he wouldn’t listen,« she joked.

     »Oh, Ymir, come on,« Historia said but giggled. »You must’ve been really tired, hm? Though I have to admit, it was kind of amusing but don’t worry, you look very cute when you’re sleeping.«

     [Name] rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. »Yeah, I should’ve laid down in the afternoon, I was really tired indeed …« A tall figure stepped up behind her.

     »Hey, [Nickname]!« She turned around. »We didn’t have the chance to chat yesterday since you fell asleep, haha.« Reiner had a shit eating grin on his face but he lifted her off the ground and gave her a big hug while he laughed. Reiner went to a university three hours away from their town and visited only on weekends. He studied physics, something he had wanted since [Name] knew him. Bertolt approached his friends with a smile on his face and bent down to give [Name] a hug after Reiner had set her back on her feet.

     »[Name]!« Right after Bertl had given her some space again, she was already forced into the next hug as an overly excited Sasha threw her arms around the tiny girl and pressed her into her chest. »I couldn’t make it to Bertl’s birthday party and I missed the cake! And also your cute sleeping face!« Sasha laughed whole-heartedly and finally let [Name] catch some breath. »I am so excited to see you again! It’s definitely been a while!«

     [Name] laughed as well. »Wow, is it just me or have you gained some extra muscles? Your grip is like iron! Oh, you let your bangs grow out, it suits you!«

     »Ah, yes, that. They got in my way during work a lot and I just decided to let them grow out. But thank you!« Sasha, alongside Connie, was the only one to ditch college and start occupational training instead. She was actually aiming to become a florist and judging from the pictures she always sent her, she would be a very talented one, too.

     Connie walked up behind Sasha, grinning at [Name] and giving her a big hug. He worked as a mechanic and Sasha had told her about how proud he was of his accomplishments and how much he loved to work. Connie, who had always been the smallest guy out of their friend group, had surprisingly outgrown his own girlfriend and now towered over [Name] like a tree. Damn, she felt small now.

     The only one missing tonight was Annie. She had decided to travel the world before starting college and she texted the others from time to time. [Name] remembered that she was somewhere in the Middle East at the moment – or was it China? Yeah, she might’ve lost track about Annie’s whereabouts …

 

✿✿✿

 

     It wasn’t long before they settled in their usual circle, snuggled up next to each other to exchange their wishes and thoughts. [Name] was standing between Jean and Armin, two of her three favourite boys. The nervousness began to take her over again but she was absolutely ready to tell her friends about her relationship with Levi. Jean’s hand rested reassuringly on her waist and Bertolt flashed her a smile from where he was standing before Reiner opened their little ceremony with his speech.

     While more and more of her friends spoke about their year and the wishes for the next, [Name] was thinking hard about how she would phrase it. The last time clearly didn’t work too well and she wanted no one to be upset this time. It didn’t help that Armin had had a crush on her about a year ago – would this hurt his feelings? No, she didn’t want to think about that. She needed to get this off of her chest. She needed the pressure gone or she would suffer even more.

     »[Name], it’s your turn.« Historia’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. [Name] looked up to meet a lot of smiling faces and she took a deep breath.

     »Guys, before I say anything else, there is something I need to tell you,« she began and her voice was surprisingly strong and clear, »I should’ve told you this a while ago and I know I missed the right opportunity to do so but here we are now, all together after so long and if I don’t do it now, I will probably break under the emotional pressure this causes me.« She paused for a moment, awaiting the others’ reaction. When no one said a word, she continued. »There is someone in my life who makes me really happy. Someone I deeply love and who also loves me and we’ve been dating since four months now. Please, don’t get mad at me but … I am dating Mr. Ackerman.«

 

     For a moment, but just for a moment, it was dead silent. The earth seemed to have stopped and for [Name], that moment felt like an eternity. She was shocked how easy it all had been, how the words had just spilled out of her like she had been waiting for years on end to say that. The relief spread slowly through her veins and she relaxed more and more which didn’t go unnoticed by Jean who was currently holding her.

     »Wait, I thought the others knew already?« Mikasa raised an eyebrow. »So I was the only one who knew already?«

     »What do you mean, you knew?« [Name] asked with wide eyes and disbelief written all over her face. »Levi didn’t tell anyone, he promised me.«

     »Well, he didn’t want to tell anyone, that’s for sure,« said Mikasa, »mom got really pissed because he had turned off his phone on his birthday and after the streets were clear, she drove to his house. Apparently, she saw you leaving and you kissed on the doorstep. She asked him about you and he told her you two were dating – and she told me. But I don’t see the big deal, I don’t like my cousin and that gives me a great opportunity to kick the shit out of him if he ever tries to hurt you.«

     [Name] blinked, honestly lost for words.

     Before she could say anything, Eren spoke up, grinning. »It’s a bit creepy that he was our maths teacher but who cares? As long as you don’t bring him along all the time, I am totally fine with it!«

     Mikasa elbowed him. »She can always bring him along if she wants.«

     »[Name], whatever makes you happy, makes us happy, too.« Armin next to her was smiling.

     »Oh, I love you all!« [Name] cried, rubbing her eyes to stop all of the happy tears.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Armin dropped her off at quarter to two. There was still light inside the house and [Name] briefly wondered if it was Moblit waiting for her to return home safely. He was a sweet guy, really. She entered the house as quietly as possible, pretty sure that Hanji was already asleep since she always got herself drunk pretty fast on New Year’s Eve.

     After getting rid of her coat and shoes, she went to the living room – and she was pretty surprised to not only find Moblit but also Mike, Nanaba and also Levi there. »What are all of you doing here?«  
 she asked before she could even think about it, drawing all the attention to her.

     Levi was the first one to get up, enveloping her in a loving embrace and kissing her so tenderly, she got weak in the knees. When they parted, he whispered, »Happy birthday, I love you.«

     »Were you just waiting here to wish me a happy birthday?«

     »Why not? You deserve coming home from such an evening and receiving some love, don’t you think?« He led her back to the armchair he was sitting in before and made her sit across his lap. She immediately snuggled close to him, enjoying Levi’s body warmth.

     Mike and Nanaba smiled knowingly at each other and knew better than to stand up and hug her. »Happy birthday, [Name],« said Nanaba, followed by Mike and then Moblit. »Hanji got drunk already and she is upstairs, sleeping. Geez, she’ll never learn.«

     »That will be a rough night for you, Moblit,« [Name] said with an apologetic look on her face.

     He just sighed. »I love her and I will get through this – New Year’s Eve is just once a year. By the way, how was your little gathering? Levi told us about your big plans.«

     [Name] smiled. »They are all very happy for me and I should warn you about Mikasa. She’s probably going to kill you if something happens … Which I hope doesn’t.«

     »My aunt kind of caught us red handed. Sorry for that.«

     She gave him a kiss on the cheek. »Don’t worry. Everything turned out fine. Everything’s alright.«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I promised weekly updates but I really, really can't do that. I need to write one chapter after another and because of the amount of work university gives me, I may need more time than two or three weeks to do so. I sincerely apologize for breaking my promise. I hope you'll still be with me ♥
> 
> Have a nice week, guys, take care of yourselves and stay warm since it's getting so cold outside ♥♥


	8. Bipolar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my wonderful readers! ♥
> 
> I want to thank you for being patient with me. Your lovely comments made me tear up, I love you all so, so much ♥ Feel hugged since I can't do it in person. Also, thank you so much for 100 kudos! Man, was I happy when I saw that! You encourage me to make this story my very best. I want you all to feel happy and loved and even though real life is hard sometimes, I want to create a world where you can be safe and happy and know that in the end, everything will be alright.
> 
> Please, enjoy this chapter! ♥

     [Name] was frustrated. All the joy from last night seemed to be an illusion when she got up. It was like she had a really nice dream right before she jumped into the next nightmare – a nightmare called reality. After everyone had left the night before, Levi and [Name] remained cuddled up in that armchair just for a little bit longer before they bid each other good night. They agreed that [Name] would stay over at night and he wished her a nice day before heading home. She had gone to bed that night, feeling wonderfully refreshed and happy – and now she felt like she would throw up any minute, nothing left of the warm and cosy feeling she’d had earlier. And this time, it wasn’t Jean’s fault – it was Erwin’s.

     [Name] still hadn’t heard from him after that fatal Christmas evening and since they agreed to have lunch on her birthday, it would be very awkward to be alone with him for the next few hours. No matter how confident she had felt before, [Name] _dreaded_ to meet Erwin. She was scared about what could happen, no matter how often she told herself that he wouldn’t be as cold as a week ago. [Name] had always been very self-conscious – she had never been able to make herself feel confident or to appreciate her own actions. But she was desperate to fix whatever went wrong between her and Erwin. He was like a father to her, after all.

     Feeling uneasy and sick to her stomach, [Name] put on a sweater and headed downstairs to the kitchen where she already smelled pancakes, coffee and cocoa. To be honest, she didn’t want anything to eat, her hunger had faded. Everything was back to worry and fear again and [Name] was honestly fed up with it. She was an adult, why was she so anxious all the time? Which reminded her that anxiety was as common as to breathe, no matter what age – which didn’t exactly make things any better, to be honest. She sighed. When would the part of life start where she could just be happy and carefree for once?

     She entered the kitchen, lost in thoughts, and sat down without even noticing Moblit who stood by the stove, making pancakes. He did notice [Name], though, and turned around to look at her when she didn’t greet him – [Name] was a naturally polite girl and she always said »Good morning«, and just by the way she said it he could predict her mood at times. He could tell that something was on her mind and really bothering her, so he went back to making pancakes, hoping she would sort it out on herself.

     Just a few seconds later, Hanji came into the kitchen. »Morning!« she shouted cheerfully. She looked good for having drunk too much the previous evening – which was surprising since Hanji always managed to have a major hangover the morning after New Year’s Eve – and ruffled through [Name]’s hair before making her way over to Moblit to smooch his cheek.

     [Name] blinked. She finally looked up and shook her head slightly, as if to shake off a spider that wanted to make it’s way into her mind. »Good morning,« she said quietly, her throat felt a bit sore – probably from last night.

     »Good morning and happy birthday, my sweet child!« Hanji seemed so happy, [Name] wondered where she took all that energy from. The crazy adult pulled the tiny girl into a nearly bone-breaking hug. »Sorry that I fell asleep again last night! But I didn’t drink too much and now I am doing perfectly fine! I hope your night has been great and I hope you will like the present we picked for you! But let’s have breakfast first.«

     The university student smiled when Hanji put her down on her own two feet and sat down next to her at the kitchen table. Having Hanji in her life was a true blessing – she couldn’t imagine not seeing her smile or hearing her voice, she got so used to it by now. And Moblit, too, was family for her. She enjoyed their presence and she was absolutely comfortable around them. But still, she couldn’t be as happy as she wanted to be, not even when Moblit put a plate with pancakes and hot cocoa on the table with a smile. The thought of having lunch with Erwin still scared her way too much to enjoy this fabulous breakfast.

     They started eating – well, Hanji and Moblit did while [Name] just nibbled on a single pancake. She wasn’t hungry anymore and her bad thoughts began to take her mind over again. She kind of spaced out, not noticing the looks Hanji and Moblit gave each other. They didn’t need to ask what was wrong, they knew perfectly well. And in this situation, they had absolutely no clue how to help [Name] make the best out of it. Erwin had been awfully quiet the evening before and barely touched the wine or anything else. He even left before midnight and didn’t speak a single word with Levi. That was usually a bad sign. The last time Erwin didn’t talk to Levi was roughly eight years ago when they were all young and stupid and Levi had done something incredibly dangerous – Hanji couldn’t remember anymore but it had ended with Levi in a hospital bed. Erwin had been so angry with him that he didn’t talk to him for over a month. Erwin could be pretty stubborn at times but Hanji had a sour feeling that there was something else that caused Erwin to act the way he did at the moment.

 

     »I am done,« [Name] said, having barely even touched her hot cocoa which she usually loved to drink in the morning. She stood up and put her plate into the dish washer before excusing herself to her room.

     Hanji let out an exhausted sigh. »I don’t like how bipolar [Name] is at the moment. One day, it’s going to break her and I don’t want that to happen. She went through enough already.«

     »I know,« Moblit answered equally exhausted, »but I don’t know which advice to give her. We all know that this is something she can’t fix on her own but none of us can either. It is up to Erwin alone to stop putting up an act like that and I think he knows that too – I am just concerned that he doesn’t know how at the moment.« He put down his fork to take a sip of his coffee. »But if he keeps up acting like that, he’s going to seriously hurt [Name].«

     »I’m afraid he already did – the death glare he gave her on Christmas Eve has frightened her so much she started crying. I’ve seen the way she tried to hide behind Levi – and talking about Levi, they haven’t spoken a single word to each other yesterday! Normally, they’re best buds and now … Oh, I don’t know.« Hanji stabbed her pancake with her fork and sighed again. »I feel so bad for [Name].«

     Moblit put a hand on Hanji’s back and started rubbing soothing circles on it. »Me, too. But why do you think he even acts like that? I could understand if Levi was dating a student he was actually teaching currently – but we’re talking about [Name]. They became an item over the summer and they’ve known each other for a bit. And [Name] is a reasonable adult who can judge a situation correctly. And,« he had to smile, »they look so cute together, it actually melts my heart.«

     Hanji tried to put on a grin but failed – her face still seemed exhausted and sad. It wasn’t an exhaustion from lack of sleep or too much alcohol. It was more the exhaustion of a mother trying to save her child from everything bad it could experience. »I know,« she finally said, »of course, it was a shock at first, but the more I think of it, the more confident I get that those two are just meant to be together. I’ve never seen Levi so happy and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen [Name] so attached to someone else. The way they cuddled on the sofa on Christmas Eve? God, that was so adorable! Who would’ve thought Levi was the type to love cuddles?«

     Both of them giggled.

     After they had sat there in silence for a good five minutes, Hanji said quietly, almost as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear or to just say it to herself to feel the sound of the words she just selected, »I am positive that [Name] is going to get along with Erwin again. If anyone can bring him to open up about the real problem of it all, it will be [Nickname].«

     Moblit leaned forward, brushing some of the loose, chocolate brown strands behind Hanji’s ear before leaning in and capturing her lips in a loving kiss. She tasted like coffee and maple syrup and a bit of vanilla.

     »Yeah,« he breathed when they parted, »I couldn’t have phrased it any better.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     It was eleven thirty when [Name] decided to get ready for having lunch with Erwin. After breakfast, she laid back down on her bed, plugged her earphones in, turned the music on and the world off. She just laid there with her eyes closed, listening to a piano playing some of the most beautiful melodies she’d ever heard. But she loved the parts the most that featured a flute.

     Not many people liked flutes, [Name] had noticed. Most of them associated the instrument with loud, high and annoying notes but that wasn’t true. Depending on the music, a flute could become a whole different instrument. Classical music and marching band didn’t give the flute the opportunity to show its full potential. [Name] listened to all kinds of music and compared the effect the flute music had on her. And whenever she listened to anime music or just _other music_ than classical music or some pieces played by marching band, she felt as if the flute was the most beautiful and heavenly instrument you could find on earth.

     Sometimes, she thought that some people were like flutes. When the circumstances changed, they did, too – sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Was Erwin like a flute? She couldn’t say yet. There was something bothering him and [Name] had a feeling that it was the reason he was acting so cold and distant lately.

     She changed into a pair of jeans and put on a nice blouse, not forgetting the necklace she got from Levi. [Name] had never been a big fan of accessories since they got in her way while she was working or painting but she never wanted to leave the house without that necklace again. It was like she was carrying around a visible sign of Levi’s love for her and she was enchanted by that idea.

     The doorbell rang – [Name]’s stomach dropped again. She took a last deep breath before taking her bag and heading downstairs to face the lunch and her biggest fear – open confrontation.

 

     The car ride felt awkward and wrong. _So very wrong_. Erwin didn’t say a word while he drove and [Name] just looked at her hands that were curled up in her lap, fidgeting with her coat. She couldn’t take the silence anymore, he was a grown ass man and if he couldn’t pull himself together to have a normal conversation with her, she had to take the first step.

     »I can’t do this,« she managed to get out, hands fisting the fabric of her coat, »look, we can’t change what happened last week but I am not going to pester you about it. I can tell that you’re uncomfortable with this situation but so am I. If you’re worried that I would be mad at you, let me tell you, I am not. I don’t quite get why you were so angry last week but if you don’t want to tell me or don’t even know yourself, it’s fine. I’ve had worse the last few days and I don’t have the energy to overthink anymore. Could we go back to being friendly and nice to each other? Please?« She managed to get all of that out without taking a breath.

     Erwin sighed. »I am sorry, [Name] … I know that I did you wrong the other evening and I was indeed scared that you were mad at me – which I wouldn’t have blamed you for, of course.« He visibly relaxed. »I was unfair towards you and Levi and I apologise for that. I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way and I really don’t know what got into be last week. I didn’t even have the guts to look Levi in the eye yesterday, I was so ashamed of myself.« He seemed like a little boy all of a sudden, helpless and lost and [Name] smiled lovingly at him.

     »I am sure that Levi will understand. Just tell him you’re sorry – he’s worried about you. Just don’t get into a fight, please, I want you two to get along well. Both of you are too important to me and fighting over whatever it was last week isn’t worth your friendship.«

     Erwin chuckled slightly. »My god, [Name], when did you get that wise?«

     Though Erwin seemed relaxed, [Name] couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was still something bothering. She didn’t know exactly what but if he didn’t want to talk about it now, she wouldn’t ask any further. It was slightly ironic, a year ago, she was sitting in his classroom every Friday to talk to him about her problems and now she felt as if the roles had switched.

 

     The atmosphere at the restaurant was warm and relaxing. They ordered drinks and food and talked to each other while they were waiting for it. Erwin had a lot to catch up on – stuff that happened at university, the small fight she’d had with Jean, their reunion, the reaction of her other friends and her plans for the rest of the day. She and her friends would go ice skating in the afternoon since [Name] didn’t want to go bowling again – she’d had enough of meeting the bowling alley face first and not scoring a single time.

     Erwin seemed very interested, asking questions and listening to everything she had to tell him. He felt really bad about what had happened with Jean and he understood pretty well that she had been scared after he became so angry on Christmas Eve. But he was relieved that they got along again – he knew how important Jean was to [Name].

     As they received their drinks, Erwin had a very important question he wanted to ask. »Uhm,« he began, not sure if it was appropriate to ask her about it, »it’s really none of my business but I am kind of curious of how you and Levi became – an item.« He blushed.

     [Name] smiled. »Ah, don’t worry, I am fine with answering that one,« she really wasn’t, she was a horrible liar but he had to buy this one or Levi would lose his job – and [Name] would probably have to re-do her finals but since Levi didn’t grade her papers, it wouldn’t be that bad for her. »Levi was really kind to me during my last semester at school. He took care of me when Hanji didn’t want to leave me alone on Christmas Eve and when I collapsed after having a panic attack. I liked talking to him, he’s smart and mature and I could ask him for advice when I couldn’t ask any of you guys.« She meant him and Hanji. »I invited him for some coffee after I graduated to thank him for everything he had done for me. After that, we met at home when Hanji invited him for dinner but we soon also met in private. Our meetings became more and more frequent until we noticed that there was more between us than just friendship. Well, and the rest is history. We went on a few dates before we became a couple. Just like every other ordinary couple.« She smiled. It had been easier than she had thought.

 

     He had bought her lie and didn’t ask any further. But during the rest of their meal, Erwin was awfully quiet. And when they were halfway through their dessert, [Name] finally had enough.

     »Alright, tell me what bothers you,« she demanded sternly, »it’s not good to keep everything so long to yourself that it just eats you up. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.«

     Erwin but his spoon aside, a sad look on his face. »I can’t hide it from you, can I?« He took a deep breath. »It’s … that girl I told you about. My first love.«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the envelopment our Reader-chan and the relationship with Erwin is finally heading in the right direction again.  
> Also, I have a little bit more free time on my hands but I am still busy as shit, so I can't tell you when to expect the next chapter. But I already started it, so I hope it won't take me too long ♥
> 
> Leave a kudos or a comment, I love feedback and having the chance to chat with you a little ♥ Keep yourselves warm since it has gotten really cold outside and stay safe ♥ Have a nice week! ♥


	9. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big news: I can upload weekly again! At least until the end of January if everything works out the way I planned.  
> The last few weeks were very busy but fortunately, holidays will start next week. Finally, I am so done x.x (And so is reader-chan xD)  
> But anyway, enjoy the chapter! ♥

     [Name] blinked a few times. It took her at least five seconds to realize what he had said before she sighed. A smile grazed her lips. »I should’ve known,« she muttered, more to herself, and laid one of her hands on top of his. She looked him directly in the eyes. His ocean blue orbs were filled with worry and so much regret, with memories from someone he once loved and never got over it – it was a sad picture and [Name] vaguely remembered seeing that look in her own eyes just months ago, when she had realized that she had fallen in love with her teacher.

     »Tell me,« she said, her voice soft and calm.

     And Erwin finally broke. »I have been thinking about her for the last few weeks and it slowly began driving me crazy. And when Levi told us that he was dating you – I was jealous.« It was obvious that it was embarrassing to admit his feelings but [Name] was just glad that he wasn’t mad or anything. »I felt so alone all of a sudden. Mike and Nanaba have been together for ten years and when Hanji and Moblit became a couple, the thought of Levi being single just like me was the only thing that kept me going. I am so sorry for snapping at you and for making you cry. I never intended to hurt you by any means, [Name], I swear.«

     »It’s okay, I understand,« she said, encouraging him to go on.

     Erwin sighed heavily. »I am scared, [Name], I am a grown ass man and I am scared. I am still in love with her and it scares me so much, I can hardly sleep at night. I last saw her when we were both in high school. I was eighteen when our ways parted. That was thirteen years ago. I have never heard her voice and yet I can hear her talking to me when I close my eyes at night. She’s sad and tells me that she expected more from me, that she had wanted me to talk to her. I always felt invisible when she was around. I don’t even know if she acknowledged me. I don’t know what she’s like now, I don’t know where she has gone, which profession she has, if she’s married or not, does she have children, I don’t even know if the picture I had of her was just an imagination. But I want to know all these things. I should’ve done it years ago, but I want to know what she’s like. I want to know what she does, where she lives, how she has been. I want to know if the love I hold for her is real. And I want to know if it would be possible for me to have a chance with her. I-I am a fool and I know that but … I just really want to make this right.«

     [Name] said nothing for a while, giving Erwin some time to breathe. The words just spilled out of him like a bottle of coke you shook too long and he needed a moment to recollect himself before [Name] said anything. It took him about three minutes to finally look [Name] in the eye again.

     »Didn’t you try to find her?« she asked carefully, her small, cold hand still on his warm, big one.

     »I did,« he said hesitantly, »but she moved out of town and she doesn’t have Facebook. I simply don’t know where to start. And I-I …« He began to stutter and didn’t finish his sentence, avoiding [Name]’s gaze again.

     »Could it be,« she knew she was going to hit a nerve, »that you are also scared of finding her? I understand that you would be afraid if she was married or whatever but I think you’re scared that she was single and actually interested. Am I right?«

     He nodded. She had hit the right nerve.

 

     [Name], as weird as it sounded, could understand all of his fears. It had been so long since he had last seen Aurora that his mind could easily play tricks on him. The brain tended to romanticize things a lot and Erwin was so madly and desperately in love with this woman, it broke [Name]’s heart. She wanted to help him. She wanted him to be happy. Just like he had always wanted her to be happy again after losing her mother.

     She had Erwin and Hanji, Moblit, her friends and Levi, of course. But she never realized how lonely Erwin must feel, seeing all of his friends madly in love. He was on his own. But he deserved love. He deserved it more than anyone else she knew. He was a good person, he cared, he worried and he was lovely and kind and whatnot. Every woman should feel honoured if that teddy bear of a man was head over heels for her.

     And in that very moment, [Name] decided she would find Aurora – even if it would kill her. Maybe the outcome wouldn’t be a happy ending for her and Erwin but if not, he had at least tried and could move on. The only thing she needed now was a bit of help and a lot of luck.

 

✿✿✿

 

     »Uah!« She landed on her butt with a semi-loud thud. Why did she ask her friends to go ice skating again? Ah, right, she didn’t want to lose at bowling again. Armin kindly came to her aid and pulled her on her two feet again. Her coat was white and she tried her best to wipe it off before it would melt. She didn’t want her coat to become even more soaked. »Thank you, Armin,« [Name] said with a pained smile, the impact with the ice had shaken her bones thoroughly.

     »You’re welcome,« he said, laughing, »you can hold onto my arm if you like, I don’t think Mr. Ackerman would appreciate it if you came home with bruises all over your skin.« He held out his left arm, encouraging her to hold onto him so prevent her from falling again.

     »Ah, yes, that would be a great idea, I don’t want to smooch the ice again.« She gripped Armin’s upper arm tightly while they went back to their friends. »Where were we again?« she asked when they approached their friend group.

     »You were about to tell us what happened between you and Mr. Smith at lunch today,« Historia said, »well, before someone crashed into you and made you fly across the ice.« She shot a glare towards Sasha and Connie who smiled apologetically. »Well then, what did he tell you?«

     »The thing is, he is in love,« [Name] explained. »But unhappy in love, do you know what I mean?«

     »[Nickname], I am afraid we need more details on his case,« said Marco, an eyebrow arched and a questioning look on his face. »You don’t have to, of course, if it is way too personal but we can’t help you if we don’t really have a clue what’s going on.«

     [Name] sighed. She didn’t know if it was okay to go too much into detail but as long as she kept Erwin’s personal feelings and his fears out of it, it should be fine. »Well, it’s a little complicated,« she began, nearly slipping again if Armin didn’t catch her, »Erwin was head over heels for a girl when he was in his last year at high school. She was a year younger than him. But he never spoke to her. She’s a constant memory and he’s slowly going insane. I want to find her so they can meet.«

     »And what does he expect to happen?« Eren had his arms crossed. »I mean, she could be married or dead or she could’ve moved abroad!«

     »Well, there are two ways,« Jean reasoned, »either he sees that she has a husband or whatever and can move on-«

     »Or those two actually get a chance together and become a couple,« finished Marco.

     »That sounds too easy,« Annie interjected, »where’s the difficult part?«

     »He forgot her last name and we don’t know where to start looking for her. The only thing he knows is that she left the town after she graduated.« [Name] seemed exhausted. She knew that it wouldn’t be easy at all to find that woman but she wanted Erwin to be happy again.

     »That’s a problem indeed.« Bertolt laid one finger on his chin, seemingly deep in thoughts. »But there has to be a way to find out where she is now. How long has it been since she graduated?«

     »Twelve years?« asked Reiner. »If she’s a year younger than Mr. Smith, she graduated twelve years ago. But damn, that’s a pretty long time. We were in elementary school back then.«

     [Name] nodded. »But it seems to be really important for him and I want to do him that favour. He’s so miserable since Levi told him that we are dating and he deserves someone who makes him happy. And as long as that Aurora-woman is still on his mind, he can’t be happy with anyone else. He did so much for me and it’s time I give him something back. And I would kindly ask for your help since this task is way too complicated and big for one tiny person alone. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, of course. I am just asking you because I trust you.«

     »Aren’t you cute?« Sasha sobbed and threw one arm around her shoulder, making her stumble again. »Of course we’ll help! Mr. Smith was a great teacher and if he’s still so in love with that chick, we’re going to move mountains to find her! Right?« She looked at Connie who grinned and nodded.

     All the others agreed to help her, too. [Name] nearly teared up. »Guys, thank you so much! You are seriously the best friends in the entire universe.«

     »Yeah, we know.« Ymir grinned. »Now, let’s have some fun, shall we?«

 

     And before [Name] had a chance to avoid it, Ymir grabbed her wrist and dragged both, her and Historia, across the ice. [Name] screeched, and held onto Ymir’s hand for dear life while Historia just laughed and let her girlfriend do whatever she wanted.

     Sasha and Connie chased after them, not caring if the would score a fall or not and the others watched the scene unfold and laughed. After a while, Armin finally came to [Name]’s aid and rescued her from those maniacs. She was out of breath and her legs felt like jelly but she still smiled. Her friends knew how to make her laugh and Ymir was proud of her that she had achieved that.

     And so, the afternoon went by.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Tired but very happy, [Name] stood in Levi’s doorway and waved Marco and Jean goodbye who were kind enough to give her a ride. Her cheeks and nose were tinted red and her hair was in a beautiful disarray. She closed the door behind her, a slightly smiling Levi awaiting her already. She took off her coat and her shoes, placing them where they belonged and let Levi wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her deeply. She needed this right now, just him and his warmth and his lips on hers.

     She put her hands on his shoulders. »I had a great afternoon,« she whispered when they parted.

     His nose brushed along her cheek, his lips nipping at her jawline. »And I spent my afternoon waiting for you to be in my arms,« he replied and he placed a feather-light kiss on her neck, teasing her, »happy birthday, I love you.«

     They kissed again; but this time, it was like they were two dying people in the midst of a desert and the other was the much-needed water. Levi’s hands travelled south, massaging her lower back and resting on her hips – she hated it when he touched her butt – and [Name]’s hands glided higher, nails carefully dragged over the skin of his neck and resting there to prevent him from leaving her.

     The tension between them had been building for weeks on end. They barely had the energy or the time to release it but now it felt like an explosion. They wanted each other; they _needed_ each other. [Name] craved every touch Levi could give her, not even really noticing that he had lifted her up and brought her upstairs to the bedroom. He carefully placed her on the mattress, making sure that she didn’t hit her head or get hurt in any other way and didn’t break their kiss before she was lying on the mattress. He didn’t think that he had ever wanted her so badly. It had been way too long.

     He kissed along her jawline before moving on to her neck, quickly finding her weak spot – he knew by now that her neck was the most sensitive to his touch and he took in every little sound she made. He had waited all day to have her in his arms like that, he had waited so long to hear her cute moans, to have her writhing and trembling under his touch. He had waited too damn long to feel her whole.

     [Name] felt like she was floating. The smooth mattress underneath her, Levi’s warm hands on her body and his soft lips on hers, it was everything she had wanted. She had denied her urges for too long but there were other things which had kept her mind busy. But now there was a pleasant nothing in her thoughts, just Levi, his scent, the beating of his heart and his loving touch. She loved to melt under him.

 

     The room was nicely heated, yet a pleasant shudder tingled down her spine when he removed her shirt, exposing her skin to the dim-lit room. Unlike their first few times, her fingers didn’t tremble anymore when she opened every single button on Levi’s dress shirt. She still admired his toned body, his strong chest and arms, his whole body. At times she couldn’t believe that this man was hers and that she was his. It seemed unreal – but when he lightly bit down at her sweet spot on her neck and a moan escaped her lips, she knew it was real. [Name] raked her fingernails over his firm muscles and noticed how his breath hitched the moment her still cold fingertips reached the button of his jeans.

     He captured her lips again, letting her unbutton his trousers and reaching for her own in the meantime as he slowly pushed her back down on the bed. Eyes blown with want and need and love, Levi looked at the woman he loved more than his own life, taking in the beauty of her bare features. He smiled and leaned down, worshipping her skin and making her feel that she was everything he had ever wanted. He supported himself on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss her again – it was like he had become addicted to kissing her, tasting the sweetness of hot chocolate on her tongue.

     [Name] loved everything about him and Levi loved everything about her – they didn’t exchange any words; their actions alone were enough to tell the other how much they appreciated what was going to happen. They moaned in unison when they connected, feeling the radiating heat of the other, feeling loved and whole. Their bodies were hot and so were their hearts, love igniting a flame inside them and their lips found each other over and over again.

     It was everything they had ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I didn't want to write smut again but the tension was so bad, I just had to get rid of it somehow. I know it's awful, I'm sorry qwq  
> It is pretty cold outside and it snowed the lasr few days, so please stay warm and be careful ♥


	10. Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am back again with the next chapter! And let me tell you, I did not exaggerate with what I wrote. University is hell. Literally. And also the reason of my sleepless nights since I spent more than twelve hours a day there.  
> But oh well, this is more of a filler chapter but I hope you can still enjoy it ♥
> 
> The song I used is "Insomnia" by Marmozets.

_Ten steps forwards_

_Twenty steps back_

_Hand over my cheeks_

_My hand falls back_

_Skipping over every inch_

_Over every crack_

_I like to see sleepy people_

_Walking every step_

_Walking every step_

_Insomnia_

_I feel better with you_

_You're in my head_

_» There is a construct in computer programming called 'the infinite loop' which enables a computer to do what no other physical machine can do - to operate in perpetuity without tiring. In the same way it doesn't know exhaustion, it doesn't know when it's wrong and it can keep doing the wrong thing over and over without tiring. « - John Maeda_

 

 

     The remaining week of the holidays flew by in the blink of an eye – but not the good type. [Name] was only seen studying and when she didn’t study, she went to work. Over everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten the upcoming finals and she regretted not studying earlier. The number of books and notes on her desk was sheer ridiculous. One of her books alone needed hours of reading to remember all the important details. Those last seven days of holidays turned into hell. Against the common believe, they didn’t just teach drawing and painting in art school. In fact, none of her exams had anything to do with creating a visual composition. She had to study artists and when they lived, which pictures they drew, which art epoch they are sorted into and what was significant for that art epoch. And a bunch of interpretations of all those pictures. And there were at least five for every different picture.

     She had to remember different types of pencils and brushes and art styles, she had to list types of canvas’ and colours – acryl, oil-based colours, aquarelle or whichever colour was significant for an artist – and she nearly panicked because she messed them up every time Hanji or Moblit volunteered to query. She barely slept or even ate and the only time she stopped worrying about her exams, she was worrying about bringing the orders to the right tables at work. It wasn’t only once that she completely messed up the tickets and she had to apologize several times to the customers and became really flustered up to the point where she just asked to leave early. It had been a really long time since she’d had problems with that and her boss was concerned about her well-being – she looked pale and tired, the bags under her eyes were so dark not even make-up managed to cover it all up. Not that she even bothered to put that on anymore. In those five minutes, she could read all her notes again or sleep a bit longer and she didn’t care how she looked when she left the house to catch the bus not to run late to work.

     No one blamed her for that, really – Jean wasn’t better off than her and everyone else seemed to be very busy as well. One time, Moblit saw Historia sleeping on the bus, all her notes had apparently fallen out of her hands. (He had kindly picked them up, placed them in her hands and woke her up so she wouldn’t miss her station.) Hanji, on the other hand, told her partner one evening that she had met Armin who seemed to be on the verge of passing out while his nose was stuck in a book about something with maths – she couldn’t take a better look at it since he had walked past her without noticing her presence.

     Apart from that, [Name] still had managed to take the first step into finding Erwin’s first love, somehow. She had texted him one night and asked which high school he went to and asked Eren to find a yearbook from Aurora’s graduation class. She hadn’t heard from him yet but she didn’t even have time for something like that.

     During the second week of January, she and all of her friends went back to university and the exams and deadlines just crashed down on her like an avalanche. If she thought school had been busy, she had been proven oh so very wrong by the first finals she had to take for university. It was like the professors drained every single drop of energy out of her body, leaving her with no will to even get up from where she sat in the lecture theatre. If Jean hadn’t been there, she would still hang lifeless in her chair, praying for God to take her innocent soul to heaven and let her sleep for three whole weeks. And that had just been the first few days of finals.

     The thing was, the whole process went on for the rest of January. Not only did they have exams to take but projects to finish as well and [Name] was on the verge of tears all day long for about seven days straight. There had been a huge project she had been working on since the start of the semester and she forgot to finish it because of how much work they had given her these past few months. Hanji was concerned that she would rip the picture apart one day and tried to talk to her but failed miserably and just let her keep going. Moblit, who was a very talented artist himself, told her that it was only natural for someone like [Name] to chicken out over something like that. She was a perfectionist, after all. Not that he wasn’t concerned, too. Hanji and Moblit did shift work to watch over [Name] at night so she wouldn’t pass out or simply die because of the lack of sleep, nutrition and water.

     [Name] herself felt like she was a walking corpse. She barely had the energy to do anything else than her routine and it felt like her body just worked so she wouldn’t collapse. Because the minute she stopped keeping herself busy, she would faint and never get up again, possibly. Sleep was only a distant memory and even though she knew about the consequences, she really had no other choice left but to bite through it and maybe find another way for the summer semester. It was sad, frustrating, upsetting, exhausting and she began to question her decision of ever wanting to attend university.

 

     The horror went on for three weeks. Normally, they would’ve gone by in the blink of an eye, but [Name] felt like she was stuck in an endless loop, the same actions repeating themselves in a very crucial and tiring way and when half of it was over, she actually believed that it had taken her a whole year to get to this point. She was like a ghost, a poor shadow of herself, broken and tired and hopelessly trying to make everything right. Moblit was right, she was a perfectionist and she had always been very focused on her grades. She had a point to prove – she had been one of the very few students who got a full scholarship and she couldn’t afford to lose it in any way.

     She knew that life wasn’t about grades only – but they helped in certain circumstances.

     The only thing which kept her going, which kept her sane and alive, was the thought of Levi. She didn’t have time to see him throughout January and she barely even texted him because she simply forgot to, but she knew he was there whenever she needed him and that always managed to bring a tired smile to her exhausted features.

 

     Levi, on the other hand, worried himself _sick_. Literally. After not hearing from his girlfriend for an entire week, he came down with a fever and was forced to stay in bed for five days straight. Hanji had laughed when he had told her about why he had been missing from school and she said that she didn’t know what lovesick was until now. She also told him about [Name]. She spared him the more worrying details like her not eating properly or that she didn’t sleep but since Levi knew her well enough, she didn’t even have to say it out loud. She also didn’t tell him that she looked like she was about to collapse any second and while she was texting Levi, she kept an eye on her beloved little girl who was sitting at the table in the kitchen and sipped on a mug of tea while reading a very thick book about art history or something similar.

     He also didn’t want to let [Name] know that he had fallen sick. Hanji could understand why, [Name] had enough stress to cope with and she would be so worried about him that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate anymore. Levi didn’t want to distract her but on the other hand, he wanted her to talk to him again _so badly_. [Name] was his everything, after all. But just like his poor girlfriend, he had to bite through it and wait for January to finally be over. Which seemed like an eternity for him as well. It would remain a mystery as to why time was ticking by so slowly when you were stuck in something so stressful that you felt like you were dying. Levi had been a student at university not long ago and he knew how crucial finals were. He didn’t have to do projects like [Name] but he studied maths and everyone knew that studying maths was like committing suicide. He often wondered how he didn’t just collapse every now and then from the sheer amount of work and since [Name] was in university, he always made sure that she could relax on the weekends so she wouldn’t freak out or worse.

 

     After feeling better, he went back to school during the last week of January. His students noticed that he was still a bit off and when they asked him what was wrong, he snapped at them without really wanting to, apologizing immediately and saying that he had some personal issues to deal with but that would sort itself out in less than a week – at least he hoped so. He still hadn’t heard a single word from [Name] and Hanji could only tell him the same old things – she was studying all night, she looked tired and pale, she had finished her huge project and would take her last exams for the semester before entering her well-deserved holidays.

     But Hanji also invited him over for dinner at the end of the week – [Name] would take her last exam on Friday and would surely be happy to see Levi when she got home in the evening. Levi agreed without hesitation. He just wanted his precious girlfriend back in his arms – being forced to accept the distance as to not distract her was slowly driving him insane.

     He was much more relieved after Hanji’s invitation and came back to school on Tuesday uncharacteristically happy – and somehow, his students were even more scared because they actually saw Mr. Ackerman _smiling_ – and that couldn’t be a very good sign.

     Again, Levi found it unbelievably unfair that time ticked by so incredibly slow. On Thursday, he was annoyed as hell since it felt like he had waited three months for the damn week to end and when he finished his last lesson for the day and went back to the staff room, he just slumped down on a chair and closed his eyes for a moment.

     »You look tired, Levi,« a deep voice to his right said and Levi opened his eyes to see Mike hovering over him, an eyebrow crooked. »Did something happen with [Name]?« He sat down across from him and took his glasses off. It was actually the first time Levi saw Mike wearing glasses.

     »No,« he answered, »and that’s the problem. She’s so stuck in this excruciating cycle of finals that I haven’t heard from her personally in three weeks. I am worried.«

     Mike sighed. »Oh, dear … That’s why Hanji and Moblit looked so off the last weeks. I suppose that she’s taking her last exams tomorrow?«

     Levi nodded slowly, rubbing his temples. »I just can’t wait to see her again.« Levi reached for his mug filled with black tea and took a sip before sighing. »Don’t smirk, you would be as worried as me if Nanaba was working abroad and didn’t contact you for weeks.«

     »I would be, you’re right. But you of all people getting so worked up over your girlfriend, I never thought I would witness that day.« Before Levi could say anything, Mike went on. »Sorry, sorry, I had to get this out. I can relate to your worries but there’s just one thing you can do now – be patient and shower her with as much love and affection as you can when you see her again.«

     Levi blinked. »I didn’t expect such words from you.«

     His counterpart chuckled deep in his chest. »I am full of surprises. Now, go home and sleep, you will need a lot of energy tomorrow.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     She felt numb. Tired and exhausted and on the verge of passing out right then and there. It was already dark outside when [Name] and Jean left the university and Jean looked not better than [Name] by any means. Both were pale with dark circles under their heavy eyes, and they walked like they had forgotten how to do that. It was pretty much like they just barely escaped the icy cold grip of death.

     They didn’t speak a word, storing all the energy they had left for the ride back home. Since Jean didn’t want to drive – it would’ve been too dangerous in his state anyway – Eren had been kind enough to get them since he was off his shift for the day and didn’t have to study for the last four weeks. He also didn’t make fun of Jean for once, sensing that he’d had enough for at least a week and just drove them back home without saying as much as a »Hey there« and a »Make sure to catch up on sleep« when he had brought [Name] to the front door.

 

     Levi was already there, helping Moblit to prepare the dinner while Hanji made sure to clean [Name]’s room. It was almost impossible to relax in that mess she created while studying and Hanji carefully selected all her notes and books so [Name] could sleep without having to look at that nightmare which had kept her awake in the first place.

     He counted the seconds and felt ridiculous. He was a grown ass man and couldn’t await his girlfriend’s arrival – he felt like a child under the Christmas tree, ready to open his presents. But fortunately for him, he didn’t have to wait any longer.

     They all heard the front door close and Levi was the first to leave the kitchen to welcome his girlfriend home. But what he saw truly broke his heart. Pale, shaking violently and barely able to keep her eyes open, [Name] stood in the doorway and looked more lost than ever. Her hair was in a disarray, she looked unhealthy and undernourished and when she saw him, she couldn’t even muster up the energy to smile. She just looked at him, took a breath and promptly passed the fuck out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter ist going to be better, I promise! ♥  
> And I am on Christmas holidays already though I have a lot of work left, sadly.
> 
> Take care of yourselves and I already wish you a very merry Christmas and some nice and relaxing festivities! ♥♥♥


	11. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers ♥  
> I hope you had a few relaxing and festive days and to sort of end them, a new chapter! ♥
> 
> Please, enjoy ♥

     Levi was just fast enough to catch her before she could hit her head. Alarmed by the sudden noise, Moblit abandoned the cooking and Hanji came rushing downstairs to look where the loud thud came from – only to find Levi holding [Name] to his chest, brushing through her hair and sighing heavily. »She passed out,« he simply said, carefully taking her scarf and coat off before moving on to her shoes. She was cold, her body not having enough energy to even keep her warm and he wanted to wrap her in a blanket and cuddle her until her skin was warm again.

     »Oh dear,« Hanji said and took [Name]’s coat from Levi’s hands before helping him to take her shoes off so he could keep one arm around her, »why did I know this would happen?«

     »We all knew it would happen.« The look on Moblit’s face was still concerned. He stepped forward and put a hand on [Name]’s forehead. »At least she’s not having a fever. But she needs to rest. Though she should eat something first but I doubt we could even wake her up at this point even if we wanted to. She deserves some sleep.«

     »I’ll bring her upstairs,« Levi said, still worried but visibly relaxed. His shoulders weren’t as stiff as before and the tension had visibly left his body. He was so glad to have her back in his arms, he couldn’t even think of anything else at the moment than protecting his girlfriend as best as he could. »I’ll be back in ten minutes.« He lifted her into his arms, again concerned at how little she weighted. She must’ve lost a lot of weight in those three weeks. Whoever said that university was easy, was definitely wrong and should bow down their head in shame.

     »You can stay the night, Levi.« Hanji smiled. »[Nickname] would appreciate it. I know how much she missed you. Imagine her waking up and not having you by her side!« She laughed and patted his shoulder while he just shot her an annoyed glare. Hanji could overdo it at times.

     Moblit just shook his head and went back to the kitchen with a faint smile on his face, dragging Hanji with him so she wouldn’t make any more comments. He was glad. [Name] was finally asleep, her room was clean and Levi was with her – everything was fine at last. She deserved the love and care Levi would give her and he blushed when he thought about _different kinds of showing affection_. He shook his head. This was not the time to think about that.

     »You know, I am glad she passed out,« Hanji said after she sat down at the table. She had been forbidden to even touch the food or any knives and she loved to see Moblit cooking – he looked cute yet sexy in [Name]’s apron. »I know her, when she’s too tired she has problems to fall asleep and gets frustrated and upset because of it. Dragging her body to the brink of exhaustion again was not a wise action but at least she collapsed at home and with Levi being able to take care of her. It could’ve been worse.«

     »For someone who has been so worried for the past few weeks, you sure sound carefree,« he turned around to smile at his girlfriend, »I can see how relieved you are that it’s over for now. [Name]’s a strong girl, she will be fine. I’ll make sure she’s going to have a nutritious breakfast when she gets up tomorrow and Levi is definitely going to make her relax for the weekend to come. She’s in the best hands. And she has you, after all.«

     »Aw, you’re too cute!« She jumped up and nearly threw herself at him, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately, stealing his breath. She pulled away equally as fast and smiled at him. »Say, why are we waiting any longer for you to move in? You’re basically here all the time and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yeah, I know, we have been together for under a year and it’s too early and what not. But we’re not hormonal teenagers anymore. We’re turning thirty next year and I know we haven’t talked much about this yet but … I want to have a family with you.«

     Moblit was speechless. His ears and cheeks were burning because of Hanji’s honesty. She was more of a woman who was focused on the present and he wasn’t expecting her to think so much about their future together. But if he was completely honest, he did imagine Hanji as a mother to his kids. The way she cared for [Name] was motherly and loving and the image of her caring for their children made him light-headed but very happy. And [Name] would be a phenomenal big sister. Which kid wouldn’t be happy to have an older sister like her? Even if they were not blood-related, [Name] was a part of his family already, just like Hanji was. What a weird thought.

     »Yeah,« he finally said, »why wait.« He wrapped his arms around her waist and sealed their lips again. They closed their eyes and kept on kissing, completely forgetting about the dinner they were supposed to prepare.

 

     Meanwhile, Levi had brought his girlfriend upstairs to her room and laid her on her bed before closing the door. He refrained from turning any lights on as to not disturb [Name]’s peaceful slumber and just closed the curtains before sitting on the mattress. Though she seemed relaxed, he could see how exhausted she really was. Her brows were lightly furrowed in her sleep, as if her body was trying as hard as it could to get rid of the stress put onto it for the last few weeks.

     He lightly caressed her cheeks, relieved that they were already warmer than before. She would be fine, he thought, she was strong and she had a lot of people who had her back. She could sleep and she would start eating properly again – hopefully putting on the weight she had lost to be back to a healthy weight again – and they had the whole weekend to themselves. Well, at least they would have Sunday together since he wanted to do some cleaning and didn’t want to drag her along. She should rest not clean his house.

     Levi leaned down and kissed her forehead before getting up and leaving her room. He would be back later and he was actually pretty hungry.

 

✿✿✿

 

     The first rays of sunshine were enough to wake him up on the next morning. He inhaled deeply, the scent he had missed so much filling his nostrils, the scent of acryl and aquarelle paint, of fabric softener and – strangely enough – cinnamon. He felt a weight on his chest and he slowly opened his eyes, the room still dim. He smiled when he recognized his girlfriend’s head laying on his chest, still sound asleep and he was perfectly happy with himself and the world.

     After dinner on the evening before – which he had made himself since Hanji and Moblit were making out in the kitchen – he went back to [Name]’s room, sitting next to her before deciding that he should go to sleep as well. He didn’t want to share a bed at first. He was scared that he would wake her up. But after reflecting the situation, he changed into some pyjama pants and snuggled next to [Name] as silently as he could. It didn’t take her long to sense the warmth beneath her in her sleep and the last thing he knew before he had drifted off to sleep was [Name] cuddling him like he was a stuffed animal.

     Levi lovingly brushed through [Name]’s locks, completely lost in thoughts. He never realized that [Name] had such an impact on his life that he would go crazy without her only after a few days of not hearing from her. But oh, love was a wonderful experience. And he didn’t want to miss it ever again.

 

     All of a sudden, a very loud song started playing and his eyes snapped open just in time to see his girlfriend shoot up from where she laid and she seemed so disoriented that she doubled over and nearly fell off her bed. Levi was the one to realize that it was [Name]’s phone ringing and he grabbed it from the nightstand to give it to his girlfriend.

     Though still heavily confused, she managed to answer the call somehow. »W-What is it?« She sounded groggy and sleepy and Levi brushed some of her locks out of her face while she was talking to the one who just woke her up.

     »I woke you up, didn’t I, I am sorry, [Nickname].« It was Eren. »But I am on my way to work and just remembered that there was something I forgot to tell you yesterday. I think I found that woman you were looking for!«

     [Name] blinked, more awake now. »What, really?«

     »Yeah, you asked me to find the yearbook from the year she graduated and I managed to find some time to visit the library of Mr. Smith’s old high school. I had to ask the librarian to help me but we found the yearbook and he said I could take it with me if I would return it to him after I found what I was looking for.«

     »So, what’s her name?« [Name] asked, her heart beating faster than it should. The full name of that woman was the first important step in their search.

     Eren was silent for a bit. »Ah, I forgot it but I wrote it down. Sorry, [Name], I am being very rude now but I have to punch in or I will be late. But could we meet today after my shift? It ends at three pm. Could you make it to the café I work at or do you have work yourself?«

     »No, no, we’re closed for the next two weeks since my boss and his boyfriend are on vacation. I can make it, so let’s say quarter past three?«

     »Sounds good! Well, see you later, [Nickname].« With that, he hung up.

     [Name] sighed and put her phone away before finally realizing that Levi was right next to her. She smiled and kissed his cheek. »Good morning,« she said, »did I wake you up or, uhm, did the phone?«

     Before answering, he caught her chin between his fingers, kissing her lovingly and wrapping his strong arms around her fragile features. »Good morning to you, too,« he murmured against her lips, »I woke up before the damn phone went off. Shitty Yeager-brat should look at the clock before calling people who passed out from exhaustion the evening before.«

     She blushed. »I passed out? Sorry … I thought I could at least make it through dinner. I didn’t intend to worry you. And sorry for not texting or calling but I don’t really remember anything that happened the last few weeks, though it felt like years.«

     »Don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault. And it’s finally over so let’s not speak about it anymore, alright?« She showered her with butterfly kisses and she giggled. »I missed you so fucking much, [Name], I was nearly going crazy because I couldn’t see you.«

     She raked her fingers through his raven locks, lightly scraping his scalp which caused him to groan deep in his throat. »I missed you, too.« She sighed and closed her eyes. »You were my safe haven. You always are. You keep me sane and going. I love you so much.«

     They looked each other in the eyes, smiling, before leaning in and kissing again. This felt so _right_.

     »So,« he began, »are you finally telling me what the fuss is all about? You’ve been up to something since Christmas, haven’t you.« He kneaded her back lightly, noticing that she was a little uptight.

     »We are trying to find Erwin’s very first love, a girl he fell for in high school. Apparently, he never really got over her and if it makes him happy, I will move mountains to find her.« She leaned into his touch since his hands were just doing the right thing.

     He smiled slightly. »You’re too good and precious for this world, has anyone ever told you that?«

     »I have been told so a lot …«

 

     [Name]’s tummy grumbled.

     »Time to get you fed,« Levi said and they parted. »I don’t think that you’re actually aware but you lost a scary amount of weight for someone with your built. Promise me you’ll never starve yourself again. You can’t go without eating, [Name].«

     »Sorry … I think I just forgot I was hungry. Why don’t you tell us that university will murder you twice a year?« [Name] got out of her bed, her legs still feeling a little bit like pudding. She went to her dresser, pulling out a sweater and some leggings.

     »Because no one would want to attend university if we told you it would ruin your life.«

     »Well, thank you.« She changed into her sweater and turned around to face her boyfriend once again. He had put his own clothes back on in the meantime. »I have to think of another way to cope with the finals for the next semester, I might die if the last few weeks repeat themselves.«

     »And no one would want that.« He kissed her one last time before they went down to the kitchen.

     It would remain a mystery to them how Hanji and Moblit always managed to get up before they did and make breakfast so they could just sit down andy enjoy. Moblit, as he had promised the evening before, made a very nutritious breakfast for [Name] with fresh fruit, yoghurt and cereal. And hot cocoa, of course.

     »Are you feeling alright, darling?« Hanji asked and ruffled through [Name]’s hair before pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek. »I hope you’re hungry, dig in! You need to eat properly again.«

     They sat down and began eating, discussing their plans for the afternoon. Levi wanted to do some cleaning before sitting down to grade papers and preparing some exercises for a girl whose parents were insisting on her taking private tutoring. [Name] was confused since she didn’t know about that but then she remembered that she didn’t talk to her loved one for three weeks and went silent. Hanji and Moblit made it official that Moblit would move in in the following weeks and they wanted to start packing his stuff and bringing it over.

     »I’m going to meet Eren afterwards,« [Name] said, »and maybe go to the theatre with the girls later. I didn’t have time to check all my messages yet but I think they wanted to go today.«

     »You coming over for the night?« Levi asked.

     [Name] smiled brightly. »Always.«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved writing all the fluff between Reader-chan and Levi as well as Moblit and Hanji. And we're getting closer to meet Aurora! We'll find out more about her next week.
> 
> Take care of yourselves and have a great week ♥


	12. Adrenaline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year to you all! And thank you so much for your support throughout the last year. I really had a rough time but you made my life so much better than it was before. I am in a really good place with my mental health at the moment, I am happy with the way I handle my schedule and most importantly, I found something which makes me happy the most: and that is making YOU happy.  
> Being able to write for such a loving community is every author's biggest achievement and I am so lucky to habe established that. Thank you for your patience and all of your kind words, I really appreciate all of your comments, I appreciate every kudos and I am always so happy when I see that you like what I do ♥
> 
> Thank you all for being so kind and loving. You deserve the very best from life and I will wish to the stars that all of your dreams will come true ♥♥♥
> 
> Second, I want to ask you something. Reader-chan's mother will play a bigger role in the future and I wanted to know if you would like to give her a name or do you want me to choose one? Please, let me know :)

     After Levi left, [Name] excused herself to her room. She took out her art utensils and exhaled happily before sitting down in front of the easel Moblit and Hanji had gifted her for her birthday. She didn’t have time yet to use it and she was very happy that she had already the perfect image in mind to paint. She chose aquarelle colours this time and put on an apron before starting with some light and dark blue for the background. It was very relaxing. She didn’t draw freely in a very long time, art school always demanding projects and motives the professors wanted her to do and she mildly felt like her creativity would be drained slowly to the point where she had no will left to draw in her free time. But just almost. In the end, she always returned to her own paintings, to her own motives and to all the pictures she had in her head.

     The canvas was slowly filling with all different shades of blue, mixed with some white and purple and even a bit of red before she moved on with black to paint the very top of the canvas. Bit by bit, the white canvas turned into the night sky. She took out a toothbrush, rubbing it into the white colour paste and gently sprinkled little droplets onto the dark blue ground, making it look like stars. She added a few bigger ones with a small brush before putting her utensils away. She would have to wait for the picture to dry before she could paint any further.

 

     Around lunchtime, [Name] received a call from Eren. He told her that his shift had ended early and if she would like to have lunch with him so they could go over the information he had gathered. [Name] agreed and went to the bathroom to get her hands clean before putting on some nice clothes and hurrying to catch the bus after she told Moblit and Hanji that she would go out for lunch.

     She had to sprint to the bus station and managed to catch it just in time. She was breathing heavily and really considered making her driver’s license so she wouldn’t be dependent on the public transport anymore. But since that required a lot of money, she didn’t know when she would actually be able to implement that but it was definitely on her to-do list.

     She got off the bus after about fifteen minutes and headed to the restaurant she was supposed to meet Eren at. When she arrived, he was already waiting for her. »Sorry, did you have to wait for long?« she asked as she approached him. »The traffic was quite bad.«

     »Nah, I just got here two minutes ago,« he replied and offered her a hug. »Let’s get inside and have something to eat first, I am starving!« And with that, he grabbed her arm and dragged her inside the restaurant. Yeah, he really was hungry.

     It was nice and warm inside. The atmosphere was lovely and [Name] immediately relaxed after they sat down. It was a small and cosy place, the lights were dim and it smelled wonderful. A waitress brought them the menu and not soon after, they ordered their drinks and their lunch. While waiting for their food, they chatted a bit, [Name] telling him that she’d had a few excruciating weeks and Eren told her that Mikasa and Armin had also been stressed out beyond their limits. They were most likely still in bed after they had returned the previous afternoon.

     When they switched to the actual reason they were having lunch together, their food arrived and they started eating. [Name] actually enjoyed her food. She wasn’t a big fan of eating at restaurants or out in general, preferring home cooking over everything else, but this was exceptionally good.

     »So,« Eren began, swallowing some fries, »first of all, I am sorry for taking so long. I forgot my actual task but remembered it a week ago while walking past Mr. Smith in the shopping centre. As I told you, I have been to his old high school and was allowed to take the yearbook with me.« He reached for his bag and pulled out a book with a dark red leather binding. »And with your description, I could find her. Here.« Eren opened the book at a marked page and turned it around to show it to [Name]. And he pointed his finger at a single picture.

     The girl was smiling brightly, sandy blonde hair ending just above her shoulders and her eyes had two colours – one was a beautiful and vibrant green, the other was a blue that nearly matched Erwin’s ocean blue orbs. And the name read _Aurora Hearst_.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Over the weekend and with Levi’s help, she tried to find Aurora through social media. Sadly, she came to the conclusion that the woman didn’t have any social media accounts at all and all the other internet searches had left her with no results, either. One would think that you could find anyone through the internet but since [Name] herself wasn’t very active on social media, she couldn’t complain about it. But even her name showed up when she looked for it long enough – it was like Aurora Hearst had never existed. She could be God knows where, dead, living abroad or she could be married and had taken over her husband’s name.

     Levi had convinced her to stop her researches for the day and go out for a bit. It was still cold but the sun shone nicely and they decided to go out for a walk. Hand in hand, they walked down a quiet path, enjoying their togetherness – it was the very first walk they went on without having to hide their relationship. For [Name], this was the best feeling in the entire world. And the perfect stress relief as well. She didn’t have to worry about being seen anymore, she could just enjoy her relationship with Levi like every other couple. And they met quite a few on their way.

     When they got back home, they snuggled on the couch, watching some movies and finally falling asleep in each other’s arms.

 

     Since Levi, Hanji and Moblit had to go to work on Monday morning, [Name] met with Historia at the shopping centre. They agreed to do some window shopping since they didn’t really have much money at the moment for buying something. Though Historia came from a rich family, she never wanted to rely on her parents’ money and always made sure to earn her own like all the others did, too. And so, they walked arm in arm past several boutiques and giggled about how ridiculous some of the clothes looked before heading to a small café and sitting down to have some hot drinks.

     »Do you have any news about that woman you wanted to find for Mr. Smith?« Historia asked and took a sip from her latte macchiato. She had never liked coffee as well as [Name] but she needed it as a substitute for sleep – still, she didn’t drink it black, she added a generous amount of milk and sugar to every cup she drank since she didn’t like the taste at all.

     [Name] sighed. »Well, I know her full name now. Aurora Hearst. I tried to find her through social media but I couldn’t find any profile that was fitting.« She moved the spoon around in her mug filled with hot chocolate. »This might be harder than I thought.«

     »Hm.« Historia laid her finger on her chin and began thinking. »I would like to help you and I think, I know how. Let’s visit Ms. Hearst’s old high school and try to find some information about her there. She graduated twelve years ago, some teachers must be still there who might know about her. It would at least be worth a try, don’t you think?«

     [Name] thought for a moment. »Yeah, why not, we should definitely give it a try. But Erwin’s former high school is out of town so that will be a long bus ride. We should plan ahead.«

     »Why don’t we ask someone to come with us? I mean, we’re the only ones without a driver’s license and we’re all on holidays for the next four weeks. Don’t you think someone would want to help us a bit? We could split the money for the petrol.«

     »Haha, you have the best ideas as always. Marco and Jean are on vacation, what about Ymir?«

     Historia shook her head. »Crashed her mother’s car – don’t look at me like that, it was an accident and she’s not hurt. What about Mikasa or Sasha?«

     »Mikasa told me that she caught a cold,« [Name] said, »and Sasha’s working since she’s not in university. Reiner and Bertolt will be at work, too. Oh!« Her eyes lid up. »We could ask Armin.«

     Historia grinned. »Good choice! Call him now before he makes some plans. I really want to get this done within this week, I will be back to my work schedule starting next Monday.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     After his regular hours ended, Levi had no chance of actually going home early. Sighing and cursing under his breath, he set his classroom up for the private tutoring he had to do. He was pretty annoyed. His girlfriend was finally home and he had graded all the papers and also prepared the lessons for all his classes for the whole week and then he couldn’t go home and enjoy his extra free time with his loved one. But he had to keep himself together. After all, the principal had approached him, nearly begging him to tutor the girl since she had failed her last two maths exams miserably and her parents made a fuss over it, apparently.

     Thinking of the devil, the door to his classroom opened and the girl came in, closing the door behind her and greeting him with an awfully polite smile – something about her, Levi couldn’t help but thinking, was definitely wrong. He put that thought aside and made her sit down in front of his desk before giving her some papers he had put together for her so he could start explaining the topics she messed up.

     »Thank you so much, Mr. Ackerman,« she said before he could even begin, »and I’m sorry to steal your time, I asked my parents not to bother you with it and get a private tutor but they said it was your job as a maths teacher to make me understand the subject.«

     »It’s fine, I don’t mind,« he did, but he couldn’t tell her, »let’s get this over with.«

     It started smoothly – but about half an hour into the lesson, Levi felt like she fooled him. He actually began to think that she was playing dumb on purpose. He knew the girl, her name was Jennifer Kingsley. She was a second-year student and he taught her class since last year. She was usually very quiet in class but she wasn’t dumb. In fact, she did have top grades last year and was an exemplary student. He couldn’t quite believe that she had got so bad at maths over summer. Yet, he didn’t say anything and just continued explaining while she did some examples and solved them all at the first try.

     He also never met her parents in person – the principal told him about the private tutoring. Levi always found it a bit strange that her parents never showed up to the Parent-Teacher days but never gave it much thought. But now, with her in front of him, he immediately knew why he had never met them – her family must be wealthy. Now, Levi wasn’t an expert, but all of her accessories were clearly expensive. He had seen the earrings she wore at the store where he had bought the necklace for [Name] and his stomach had begun to hurt when he had seen the price. Her clothes, too, looked expensive and he started wondering why he was even here when she clearly didn’t need private tutoring in the first place and could easily afford a professional private teacher.

 

     »Alright,« he said at the end of their lesson when she was already packing her stuff to head home, »I don’t know why you decided it was a smart move to fail two exams in a row but listen, I will not waste my time with someone who has clearly no problem with the topics and the examples at all.« He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her with a cold glare. He hated it when someone wasted his precious time on purpose. »This is not my first time giving some extra lessons to you brats and you clearly set yourself apart from all the others I taught – you’re smart and you try to play dumb on me for whatever reason. Don’t you have anything else to do with your free time? Why are you here in the first place?«

     Suddenly, her whole attitude changed. The smile on her lips faded and was replaced with a superior and arrogant smirk. »Oh, you’re so clever, Mr. Ackerman. I knew you would figure it out fast. But I also thought that you would clearly know why I would come to you.«

     Levi was starting to get irritated. »Don’t mess with me, Kingsley, this isn’t funny.«

     She gave him a playful look and leaned forward. »Oh, please, Mr. Ackerman, we both know this is just a game. The way you look at me during class is so obvious. And I can tell you, I want you as much as you want me.«

     »What the fuck are you even talking about?!« His voice was a lot louder and angrier than before. What was this girl even thinking? How the hell did he look at her? He couldn’t even remember _ever_ paying attention to her in class.

     »I just wanted to spend some time with you, Mr. Ackerman. _Levi_. You should have the best and here I am.« She stuck out her breasts to him and wiggled her eyebrows. »I am all yours.«

     »This is it,« cold rage was clearly audible in his voice and his body trembled with anger, »get out. There are a thousand reasons why this is wrong, inappropriate and in some ways insulting. First of all, and most importantly, I am in a loving relationship. Second, you’re my student and third, you’re underage. I don’t know you and you don’t know me and I don’t recall ever looking at you in class except when I wanted you to come to the blackboard to solve an example. Now, get out. Immediately. Or I will report you to the principal. Never mention that again or it will have serious consequences for you. Out.« He nearly spit out the last word.

     Jennifer got up and left without another word. Levi was left in his classroom, completely speechless. He couldn’t get his head around the idea that _that_ had just happened. He slammed his head on the desk in frustration.

     This was a fucking nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I am evil xD  
> But here she is, my bitch Jennifer and we definitely haven't seen the last of her. And we finally have Aurora's full name! Now the search can begin. But will Reader-chan be pleased when she finally meets her? We'll see.
> 
> Leave a kudos or a comment if you like it! ♥
> 
> Please, take care of yourselves and have a good week! ^-^♥♥♥


	13. Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back my dear readers ♥  
> I hope you had a great week and that you're all healthy and not drowning in work like I currently am.
> 
> But enough about my problems, today we're gonna find out a bit more about Aurora's past.
> 
> Please enjoy reading ♥

     By Thursday, Levi had almost forgotten the incident that happened in his classroom on Munday afternoon. He had decided not to tell anyone since Jennifer seemed to be back to normal on Wednesday when he saw her again and tried even harder not to look at her during his lesson. It had been crazy. But most importantly, he wouldn’t have to tell [Name]. He knew that she wouldn’t get jealous but most likely get scared that something would happen to Levi and his career. She was still a bit worried that someone from school would question their relationship and fire Levi for dating one of his – former – students, though Levi, Hanji, Moblit, Erwin and even Mike and Nanaba told her not to worry about it. They would all stand up for the blossoming relationship between Levi and [Name] if things got worse but that didn’t calm [Name] in the slightest. And with Jennifer acting so strange and completely inappropriate, Levi was kind of worried as well.

 

✿✿✿

 

     On Friday, [Name] and Historia met up early with Armin. It was still dark outside when he picked [Name] up at home, Hanji still fast asleep while Moblit had already poured himself some coffee. He was surprised to see [Name] up so early but after explaining where they wanted to go, he told her to be careful and wished her good luck before the front door closed and [Name] entered Armin’s car.

     »I brought you some cocoa and a croissant,« he said smiling and handed her the bag and a cup. »Since it’s so early, I thought you didn’t have time to eat breakfast. I brought some for Historia, too.«

     [Name] giggled. »Thanks, Armin, that’s really nice of you. And you were right, I really didn’t have time to eat breakfast, I overslept. Historia should be awake already, at least she texted me five minutes ago. Let’s go and get her, this is going to be quite a long ride.«

     While [Name] ate her croissant, Armin was pulling up to Historia’s house. She already awaited them and jumped into the car with chattering teeth. Armin handed her the other cup and the croissant he had bought her and Historia took it with shining eyes and a big thank you.

     Since they had to leave the town, [Name] asked Armin if they could listen to some music since no one was really in the mood for talking and Armin nodded, letting [Name] choose whatever she wanted to listen to. Both, Historia and Armin, didn’t have a problem with [Name]’s taste in music and so they listened to slow piano music while Armin drove. [Name] looked out of the window while Historia closed her eyes to take a nap. She didn’t sleep much at night, too excited for their trip the next day and fell asleep almost immediately on the backseat. [Name] smiled a bit. She sat beside Armin and watched the landscape pass by. The mist clouded most of her vision and after fifteen minutes of driving it started raining.

     [Name] sighed and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes for just a bit.

     »You can sleep too if you want,« she heard Armin say, »I don’t mind. I’ve heard from Eren that you were pretty exhausted last week after your finals and he felt a bit guilty for waking you up the next morning.« He chuckled. »He called me that evening, saying that he felt really sorry. I think he was crying.«

     [Name] laughed. »Oh, isn’t he silly. It’s just the weather that makes me really sleepy. And I probably shouldn’t tell you but it seems like I collapsed when I came back home last week. I can’t remember, though.«

     »You’re not the only one, a girl in one of my classes had a nervous breakdown during an exam. The older students say that it will get better over the years. But still, please be more careful, [Name]. Mr. Ackerman surely must worry about you.«

     »He was actually there,« [Name] said, »and I will be more careful next time, I won’t survive if I do this again.« She yawned. »Ah, sorry.«

     »I told you, it’s fine, just sleep for a while. We’ll be driving for quite a while and you don’t have to stay awake if you’re tired. I am fine, I slept ten hours, I am off work and I had a coffee this morning. Also, your music will keep me company.« When he looked at her for a brief moment, she had already fallen asleep. Armin smiled to himself.

     Ever since they had told each other that they’d had a crush on the other a year ago, they became even closer friends than before. Of course, Jean and Marco would always be closer to her heart but they had overcome the awkward hugs and the forced touches whenever they met. They both knew that they were just friends and they felt better about it than before.

 

     They drove for over an hour. Armin had a very good orientation but he still needed to check his phone once in a while to confirm that he hadn’t got lost. The rain had become stronger and stronger but the girls were sound asleep and didn’t register any of it. They didn’t even wake up when Armin had to slam the brakes since an animal jumped in front of the car. Luckily, he didn’t hit it but his heart beat way faster than it should’ve and he slowed down for the rest of the ride.

     When he had finally arrived at the school, [Name] murmured something in her sleep which sounded a lot like »Levi« and Armin gently shook her shoulder so she would wake up. [Name]’s eyes fluttered open and she seemed disoriented at first. When she looked at Armin, she seemed to remember where she was, yawned and rubbed the remaining sleep of her eyes. »How long have I been asleep?« she asked groggily, taking Armin’s hand and getting out of the car. The rain had stopped in the meantime.

     »A bit over forty minutes,« Armin answered and went to the back of the car to wake up Historia. »We’ve been driving for over an hour. Good morning.« He offered Historia his hand and she thankfully grabbed it to get out as well. Armin locked his car.

     »Alright,« the little blonde one said, »there are classes held at the moment, we have to be silent. But since we all graduated, they can’t drag us to class, can they?« It was still relatively early, the second class of the day had just started and the school grounds were empty. »Let’s get inside, shall we?« Historia grabbed [Name]’s hand and dragged her along while Armin followed the girls.

     It was strange to be at a school as visitors. They felt out of place and awkward the moment they entered. Also, it was awfully quiet. University was different. It was never silent and there were always people hanging around in every corner but they had forgotten that all students at a high school had roughly the same hours. It was almost a bit eerie.

     First, they wanted to ask someone for the staff room. They thought that some teachers who had been teaching here since over twelve years must know more about Aurora and hopefully her current whereabouts. They looked for a site plan but found none, unfortunately.

     »Maybe we have to wait for the class to be over so we can ask someone,« Armin whispered. He didn’t want to walk around too much. »But that would take over an hour if they have the same hours we did.« They rounded a corner.

     »Oi!« someone shouted and they nearly jumped out of their skin. »Shouldn’t you three be in class?!« An old man approached them, a mop in his hand. He wore a boiler suit and the name tag read _Dot Pixis_ , _caretaker_. He was completely bald but had an impressive moustache. He stopped right in front of them, looking very displeased. »I have to report you, name and class, please.«

     »Ah, sir, this is a misunderstanding!« Armin explained as fast as he could. »We’re not students of this school, in fact, we are graduates.« He rubbed the back of his head, seemingly really nervous.

     »What are you doing here, then?« the caretaker asked, still not seeming to buy what Armin just told him. »Strolling around is not usually allowed for people who have nothing to do with the school.«

     »We’re sorry, sir,« [Name] said and stepped forward, »but the thing is, we’re looking for someone and hoped to get some information here.«

     Mr. Pixis raised one of his eyebrows. »You’re looking for someone? And who would that be?«

     »Her name is Aurora Hearst,« [Name] began, it was the best idea to let her speak. She was so small and cute, no one could deny her a wish. »We know that she graduated from this school twelve years ago and someone who is very important to me is looking for her.«

     »Aurora Hearst?« the man said and a soft look appeared on his face. »No one has asked me about her in years! But I do remember her. I’ve been here for over thirty years now and I’ve seen many students come and go but I will never forget Aurora. She was the kindest girl I have ever met in my entire career. She stayed behind almost every day to help me clean up and have a little chat with me. Ah, those are good memories.«

     [Name]’s heart began pounding faster. »Sir, do you know where she is, perhaps?« Historia asked.

     The man shook his head. »Unfortunately, no, youngsters. I haven’t heard from her in over a decade. I remember her wanting to study abroad but her brother died and she just left the city without ever coming back, as far as I’m concerned.«

     Armin sighed inaudible. »What a shame … But thank you so much for the information, sir, it was very helpful.«

     »You’re very welcome. You know, I always wondered where she had ended up. Aurora was too kind for this world and her own good, she was intelligent and a talented young artist. At least that’s the picture I have in my head. You, young lady,« he looked at [Name], »you remind me of her when I look at you. But listen, the principal is still the same from back then. He may have more information he can give you. I know that he’s free now, so I could bring you to his office if you like.«

     »That would be really nice of you, thank you so much, sir.«

     Mr. Pixis gave a heartfelt laugh. »No one has called me ‘sir’ since Aurora graduated.«

 

     The caretaker led them upstairs to where the principal’s office was. Historia squeezed [Name]’s hand and grinned at her. They were already one step closer to find out more about that woman and she was really excited. And she did seem similar to [Name], no wonder Erwin had taken such a strong liking – even if in another way – to her. She reminded him of the woman he was in love with. Or rather; the _memory_ he was in love with.

     Mr. Pixis advised them to wait for a moment so he could talk to the principal before he stepped out and made them enter the office. The guy behind the desk seemed just as old as the caretaker himself and had a friendly smile on his face. He made them come closer, shook their hands and introduced himself before the three university students did the same. Armin let [Name] and Historia take a seat while he stood behind them.

     »Dot said that you were looking for a former student and hoping that I can help you. Now, who are you three looking for?«

     Again, Armin and Historia decided to let [Name] explain the situation. »Her name is Aurora Hearst. She graduated twelve years ago from this high school and someone very dear to me is looking for her.«

     The principal’s face lit up. »Aurora Hearst?« he repeated. »That name brings back memories. Aurora graduated as top of the class. I remember her really well. She was a really kind-hearted girl and many teachers’ favourite. She was popular among her classmates and had a beautiful singing voice.« His expression became melancholic. »But she had a terrible homelife. I can’t give you any further details about that but she spent most of her time at school and in the library. Her brother went to high school in another town.« He told them the name of the town.

     »T-That’s the town I was born in,« she said.

     The principal continued. »Aurora tried out for art school but I don’t know if she made it. She also tried out for the conservatoire. I just know that she left the city after her graduation because of her brother’s death. It was a tragedy. He was a college student at that time and was hit in the head by a loose bookshelf. He had suffered such a bad injury that he had died. But Aurora and her brother had never been on good terms. There were many rumours going around about him, even here. One even said that he had impregnated a minor and left her but I never believed that one.«

     »Sir, may I ask if you have any information about her current whereabouts?« Armin leaned forward ever so slightly and grasped the leather of the chair tighter.

     To all of their disappointment, he shook his head. »I am sorry to tell you that I have no clue where she could be. I have been wondering about that myself since it would be nice to know what she ended up doing. I hope she’s fine and happy where she is and enjoys life to the fullest. And I hope that she chose an artistic career, it would be a waste of talent if she didn’t.« He thought about something for a moment before looking at [Name]. »Young lady, the moment you entered my office was like Aurora herself had appeared before me. Your aura is very similar to hers. If you manage to find her, would you mind telling me how she is doing? I would love to know.«

     And [Name] promised.

 

     They were slightly disappointed when they left the principal’s office. They knew more about her persona but still hadn’t a clue where to look for her. With their hopes shattered, they went back downstairs and were about to leave the school grounds.

     Historia sighed. »Man, the only thing we know is a bit of her past and that [Nickname] has a similar personality. That’s not very much if you ask me.«    

     »But it’s still better than nothing,« Armin replied.

     »Hey, youngsters!« They turned around and saw the caretaker Mr. Pixis wave at them. He approached them with a big smile, like he had something very important he wanted to tell them before they would leave. »I just remembered something,« he said, »she once told me about a guy she was in love with. I think it was in her second year of high school. I can’t remember his name nor that she ever told me who he was but he must’ve been a bit older than her since she didn’t mention him again in her graduation year. She always told me that she would approach him after graduation since he didn’t seem to have time for much else apart from school. I wonder if they have ended up together. If you find her, would you mind telling her that I would love to have a chat with her again?«

 

     On their way home, [Name] looked out of the window. It was still misty and rainy and she couldn’t see much of the landscape outside but the clear image of herself in the car window. Her aura reminded them of her, she thought. Aurora had a very big impact on the people at school, she must’ve been a very lovely girl. But the last thing the caretaker told them didn’t leave her mind. Because somehow, she couldn’t shake off the thought that she had been in love with Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a sneaky little shit xD  
> Next weeks chapter will involve our dear Levi! Brace yourselves since I will be not that nice to him ...
> 
> Please, take care of yourselves and have a nice week ♥


	14. Blackmailing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope all of you had a good weekend ♥ I passed the first of my finals and hope to pass all the others too! (But since the one I had on Friday was the exam which everyone told me was the hardest in my entire study, I am not that concerned.)
> 
> So, brace yourselves, this chapter is going to be wild.  
> Please, enjoy! ♥

     Levi was quite relaxed when he had finished preparing for the private tutoring with that crazy ass student. He was convinced that he had made himself clear last week and that she understood that her behaviour had been inappropriate and immature. It was at least what he expected a seventeen-year-old to do; reflect their actions when they are told they did something wrong. That’s why Levi had become a teacher in the first place – he didn’t just tell them about all sorts of complicated maths examples, he wanted them to learn something they could use in life and reflecting upon their wrong behaviour was one of those things.

     He sat down behind his desk and saw that he had got a text message. Tapping on the screen, he saw that it was from [Name]. He smiled and read the message.

 

     _[Name]: » Sorry for not coming over yesterday! I was out with the girls and too tired afterwards. Do you want me to come over later so we can cook together and maybe watch a movie? I found one which I would really like to watch!_ _♥_ _«_

_[Name]: » Also, Hanji bought some cake and it isn’t poisoned! She told me to bring you something since you still have work to do. «_

_[Name]: » Ah, sorry for all the messages but I forgot to tell you that I love you!_ _♥♥♥_ _«_

 

     Before he could reply, the door opened and he switched his phone off in the blink of an eye. He didn’t want to share the sweet messages from his girlfriend with anyone. When he looked up, though, his eyes widened. Of course, it was Jennifer, he didn’t expect anyone else but he was immediately drawn to her very indecent clothing. He was almost sure that she hadn’t worn that attire earlier in class. He felt his anger rise again.

     The skirt she wore was _short_. So short, he wasn’t entirely sure that he wouldn’t see her underwear any moment. And her neckline, god forbid her neckline – Levi felt disgusted at how much he was able to see without so much as looking up from his desk. Didn’t she have any pride? Or any shame? He would’ve told her to put something on if he wasn’t so shocked and lost for words. He was just lucky that his jaw didn’t drop.

     She sat down in front of him, a superior and seductive look on her face and when she opened her mouth to speak, Levi cut her off immediately. »Don’t,« he hissed, »explain to me what this is all about. I demand an answer. And don’t you dare try to play dumb. And while you’re explaining, I would like you to put something on.«

     »I love you, Mr. Ackerman,« she simply said, »and I damn well know that my feelings are not one-sided. I know you would like to rip my shirt off and make me yours. You have a liking for students, don’t you? And let’s be honest, I have so much more to offer than this pathetic little thing you address as your girlfriend. What a shame. Look at her, she looks like a child, there is nothing you could touch. And she doesn’t have money nor a family. I have everything. I could give you all you ever wanted and more. Money, a career jump and even my body. I would be all yours and the only thing you have to do is kiss me right now.«

     Levi could only take so much. He was raging, his cheeks aflame with hatred and his eyes were colder than ever before. Every other creature on earth would run for their lives now. But Jennifer just sat there, smiling smugly. »Get out,« he wasn’t shouting. His voice was so cold but yet scary at the very same time. »Get out and never come back. I don’t want to see you ever again. How dare you talk about my girlfriend like that. Who do you think you fucking are?«

     It was like this was exactly what Jennifer was waiting for. She still smiled while she got up, slowly, just to tease him a bit more. She swayed her hips and chanted, »It’s sad, Mr. Ackerman, really sad. Good teachers have to leave so often.« She turned around. »Who is the principal going to believe? Goodbye, Mr. Ackerman.« And with that, she left him behind in his classroom.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Mike and Erwin were going over some things for the upcoming career counselling in the staff room when a very pale-looking Levi entered and poured himself a full mug of black coffee instead of his usual black tea. He sat down at the same table as his two friends, looking like he would pass out any minute. The two older males were alarmed.

     »What happened, Levi?« Erwin asked, concern in his voice. »You look like you’ve seen a ghost.«

     »And your hands are shaking,« Mike added, taking the mug from Levi’s hands so he wouldn’t spill anything onto the table. »Jeez, Levi, shall I take you home?«

     Levi shook his head and took a deep breath before he told his friends what had just happened to him. The more Levi spoke, the paler Mike and Erwin got. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Of course, a student trying to seduce a teacher was nothing new to them and everyone had had that one student who had heart-eyes for them at one point – but this level of persistency and arrogance was something new. They didn’t even think that Levi was exaggerating since he was not the type to do something like that and the way he looked – pale, shaking and trying to keep himself under control – led them to believe him even more.

     Mike stood up, went over to Levi and put a hand on his shoulder. »Believe me, I can imagine what you’re going through right now,« he said and Erwin looked at him with a raised eyebrow, »actually, I know that girl pretty well. Had her parents over for a little chat back in November. She tried to do the same with me at the beginning of the semester. But I wasn’t having it. Her parents were furious when they left my classroom. I didn’t think she would try it again. But since you’re dating one of your former students, she might thought you were an easier target.«

     »Why didn’t you tell us?« Erwin asked.

     Mike shrugged. »Wasn’t important,« he answered, »I thought that girl just needed some attention and was just, I don’t know, looking for a little plaything. And I know what you want to ask next but I didn’t report her to the principal. Thought the lesson her parents taught her would be enough.«

     Erwin leaned back in his seat, shocked. »I didn’t know we had students like that. I don’t have her in my history class. Can I consider myself lucky now? Wow, I am lost for words … And she really said all those horrible things about [Name]? Why does she even know who you’re dating?«

     Levi just shook his head. »Could’ve seen us on a walk or whatever. I don’t know. Not like I’m hiding my relationship with [Name],« Levi murmured, not trusting his voice or his stomach. He seemed on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Not even Levi Ackerman could handle everything.

     Erwin wanted to say something else but he never had the chance to – the door was slammed open and an obviously furious principal Zackley entered the room. His face was deep red and his teeth gritted as if he had to hold back his breath to save it for some shouting. Jennifer was walking behind him, arms crossed over her obscenely revealing cleavage and a smug smile on her arrogant features.

     »Mr. Ackerman,« he began, his voice so loud the entire school must’ve heard him, »Ms. Kingsley just told me something very upsetting and I demand your explanation! What on earth did lead you to assault that young girl! A student! A minor, for god’s sake!« His shouting was bad and Levi’s body was shaking even worse. »On top of all, she told me you were in an intimate relationship with one of your own students!«

     Levi stood up. »I did no such thing!« he defended himself and tried to keep his shaking hands and his voice under control. Levi was desperate. He never imagined that something like this could happen to him. Scenes like that only happened in damn soap operas, for fuck’s sake! »I never touched her! She was the one trying to make a move on me and I told her to get out of my classroom as fast as possible after she started to insult my girlfriend – who, I may tell you, is not one of my students!«

     »So, you’re telling me that she made it up, huh?!« Zackley adjusted his glasses – he seemed ready to wrap his hands around Levi’s neck and strangle him. »Why would she come into my office, crying and sobbing, telling me that she had nearly been raped! You’re really trying to convince me that-«

     »In fact, yes.« Mike had been standing behind the door and Jennifer hadn’t seen him yet but upon hearing his voice, her smile faded. Mike stepped into view and looked at the student with cold fury in his usually very calm eyes. »Mr. Zackley, I may inform you that Levi is not the first teacher she tried to wrap around her little finger,« he said calmly, »I had a very interesting chat with her parents a while ago after she tried to seduce and then blackmail me. You can ask them if you like, they will love to confirm what we just told you. So yes, she did make it up. Levi would never do such a thing and you, of all people, should know that well enough. We’re teachers, we have a responsibility and if one of us does this right, it would be him.«

     »And why didn’t you report her if that was true, Mr. Zacharias?« Though he was still visibly angry, his voice was more quiet and composed and he seemed to think about the matter. »You have the duty to report something like that!«

     »Mr. Zackley,« it was Erwin this time, »would you rather believe us or a female student? And it was obvious that Mike didn’t want her school career ruined. She would’ve been expelled – and no student deserves that for one little mistake they made. But this time, she went too far. I’ve heard the stories from Mike and Levi and there is no way they would ever touch less _assault_ one of their students.« His look was stern and Jennifer slowly seemed to realize that she had made the biggest mistake in her life so far.

     Zackley looked at the three men, then turned around to face the girl. »It’s three on one, Ms. Kingsley, and there is no reason not to believe them. Plus, put something on, that neckline is ridiculous and makes me want to dress code you but since we don’t have one, do it for yourself. I feel slightly sorry for myself since I believed you just moments ago, but thinking about it now, your story just seems ridiculous.« He faced Levi again. »That leaves one last question, Mr. Ackerman,« Levi knew where this was going and he gulped, »are you dating a student, yes or no.«

     »She’s a former student,« Levi said, still looking horribly pale and Mike grabbed his shoulder just in case his legs would give up on him, »and yes, one of _my_ former students. But we started dating during the summer months after she had already graduated.«

     »And I guess someone can confirm that?«

     »I can,« Erwin said immediately, »and Mike, his fiancé, Ms. Hanji Zoe and Mr. Moblit Berner.«

     »May I get the name of said former student?«

     Levi just shook his head. »I can’t do that. She has got nothing to do with it all. It’s been hard enough for her, let her-«

     »[Name] [Last name],« Jennifer said, in a last attempt to save her sorry ass. Levi’s knees buckled.

     »I didn’t ask you,« Zackley said not even bothering to look at her, »I will have to speak to your parents and you are no longer a student of this school. Take your belongings and leave the school grounds. As for you, Mr. Ackerman,« even Zackley noticed that Levi had had too much for a single day, »I apologize for the ruckus I caused. You should take a day off tomorrow, you look quite sick. Good evening.«

 

     Jennifer just stood there, dumbfounded. But Levi paid no attention to her. His head was spinning. Black points were dancing in front of his eyes and the room seemed way too hot for his liking. The shaking didn’t stop – it just got worse. He wanted to get out of here. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he felt so powerless and everything just proved too much for him at the moment. This wasn’t real, he thought. He would wake up in a few seconds, open his eyes and see his sleeping girlfriend right next to him. But the thought of her just made his stomach turn even more. The principal knew he was dating her. Would he believe the lie? He had to. But there was no evidence that it was otherwise. Only him and [Name] knew. He didn’t grade her last two exams and he didn’t grade her finals. Everything would be fine. Why was it still so hard to breathe? It was over, wasn’t it?

     The girl’s cheeks turned crimson – but not because of embarrassment, she was furious. Furious that her little plan didn’t work out the way she wanted. She clenched her fists. »This wasn’t just it,« she spat out, »you definitely haven’t seen the last of me. You will get what you deserve, Levi Ackerman!« And with that she turned around and stormed through the hallway.

 

     »Jennifer Kingsley has left the stage,« Mike murmured and let out an exhausted sigh, »who would’ve thought that she was so much trouble? If I had known that she would try something like that again I would’ve reported her immediately. But now you don’t have to worry about her anymore. Still, I am sorry, Levi.« He looked at him. »Levi?«

     Levi was bracing himself against the table. He was panting heavily and his eyes were wide open. He didn’t even hear Mike and Erwin call his name and gripping his shoulders. Erwin was telling Mike to call an ambulance. He called Levi’s name but he was long gone.

     His mind was running wild. That girl was scary and he would give her credit for doing something to [Name]. She knew her. She probably even knew where she lived. He had to hurry and make sure she was safe. He broke out in cold sweat, he couldn’t breathe.

     Mike had already called an ambulance when Levi lost consciousness and sank to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize and I am making sure to make it up to you next week! qwq I bow my head in shame.  
> And we haven't seen the last of Jennifer Kingsley yet, be prepared.
> 
> Please, leave a Kudos or a comment to support this story if you like it!
> 
> And as always, please take care of yourselves and have a nice week! ♥♥♥


	15. Cosy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! ♥  
> I hope you all had a relaxing weekend and could gather some new energy to start the week. I don't have to say anything but thank you for your support!
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy this week's chapter ♥

     [Name] got the call from Erwin when she was about to get changed. She had done some cleaning and wanted to shower and put on some fresh clothes before heading over to Levi. When Erwin told her that Levi had been taken to the hospital, [Name] dropped her phone. It was like her heart had stopped for a beat and she yelped, desperate to get some air before getting herself together, picking up her phone and telling Erwin that she was on her way to the hospital. She had already hung up on him when he asked her if someone should come and get her.

     Moblit and Hanji weren’t home and she left them a short note, saying that Levi was taken to the hospital and she would go and see him. After that, she threw on her coat, not even bothering to close it, grabbed the nearest scarf and ran out of the house. She didn’t know what had gotten into her. She had never run faster in her life ever before. [Name] didn’t have the patience to wait for the bus. The hospital was only half an hour away if she walked at a moderate pace and if she would run, she would make it in twenty, perhaps. And [Name] had never run faster and for as long as she did on that evening. It was freezing outside and she could consider herself lucky that there was no snow left so the risk of slipping on some hidden ice was close to zero. It would’ve been bad if she hurt herself right now, no one knew where she was and it was Levi who needed her right now. She probably shouldn’t tell Levi that she didn’t wait for the bus, though.

     The cold air brought tears to her eyes as she made her way downhill, careful not to stumble over her own two feet. She crossed the street and passed Nanaba’s flower shop and an elderly couple which just looked after her as she rushed past them with a slurred »Good evening«. They were probably wondering if she was on the run – or completely nuts, who knew – but [Name] didn’t have time to think about it. She was on emergency mode. Erwin didn’t tell her any details as she just hung up on him before he could explain the whole situation but she was sure that it was nothing fatal since Erwin had been so calm while he talked to her on the phone. Or well, at least she hoped it was nothing fatal.

     The adrenaline and the fear kept her going though she had been out of breath after ten minutes. But she kept running and running until she saw the sign to the hospital. A smile crossed her lips and with one final sprint she reached the front doors and went inside.

     [Name] was breathing heavily, her lungs felt like they were on fire and she needed two seconds to pull herself together before she went up to the information counter. The lady behind the counter looked at her with a polite smile and asked what she needed.

     »I,« [Name] began, having trouble to get the words out of her since she was trying to catch her breath, »I want to visit a patient. His name is Levi Ackerman. I got a call that he has been brought here not long ago.«

     The lady raised an eyebrow. »Miss, visiting hours are over. Are you a part of his family?«

     [Name]’s heart sank and she shook her head. »I’m his girlfriend.«

     The lady was hesitant. Outside of visiting hours, only family members were allowed to visit the patients. She looked at [Name]. She was out of breath and her hair in a wild disarray, she had red cheeks and there were clearly tears in her eyes. She must’ve hurried to come here as fast as possible. She smiled again. »I’ll make an exception for you,« she said, earning a smile from [Name]. She gave her the room number and [Name] thanked her before hurrying off to the stairs.

 

     »We’re not telling [Name], we promise,« Erwin said. He was sitting on a chair next to Levi’s hospital bed. Mike leaned on the wall opposite from him. »I get why you don’t want to tell her. She would be scared and since we all know that she could suffer from a panic attack again, it’s best to keep it between us. But once it’s becoming too much for you, you have to tell her, Levi.«

     Levi just nodded. He was lying under the covers, still pale but he looked better than before. They had given him an IV and made sure he was okay. »[Name]’s too fragile for something like that. She would blame herself and maybe ask if she wasn’t good enough. I don’t want her to doubt my feelings for her, god, no.« Levi had never been so scared in his entire life. If he would lose [Name] his life would be officially over.

     »She must be here soon,« Mike said, »I’ll take you home once she’s here if that’s okay for you.«

     »Yeah, thank you.« Levi sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was terribly tired.

     Just seconds after he had said that, the door to his room opened and [Name] stepped in. She was breathing so heavily that she could’ve run a marathon and her cheeks were deep red. Did she take the stairs to the fourth floor? He knew she didn’t really like to take the elevator but four floors were quite exhausting. She didn’t say a word when she approached him and just threw her arms around his neck. Levi put his own arms around her torso immediately, gathering his last strength to pull her on his bed and in a loving and oh-so-needed embrace. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. Her heart beat violently against her chest and breathing must hurt her.

     Mike met Erwin’s eye and saw him nodding. They left the room silently, closing the door behind them so the young couple could have a bit of privacy.

     »What are you doing?« She was in tears. Her voice sounded hoarse. »Don’t ever scare me like that again. Please, Levi.« She buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her face was cold.

     Levi kissed her cheek and rubbed her back. »I am sorry,« he whispered, »I don’t know what happened. They said I had an anxiety attack. God, that was really scary.« She tensed in his arms and he hugged her a bit stronger. Luckily, [Name] didn’t have another panic attack after suffering from one last year. But she clearly remembered how much fear she had felt back then. She knew how horrible that was.

     He didn’t want to let go of her. He was still scared. He didn’t know it was possible but that arrogant teenager scared the shit out of him. That glare she gave him before she left was _murderous_. Still, he was a lot calmer than before. [Name] was here, safe in his arms and Jennifer couldn’t lay a single finger on her. And if she did, he would make that pathetic little girl pay for it, that was for sure.

     »Are they going to keep you here over night?« [Name] was breathing normal again but her voice still sounded a bit hoarse. She shifted her position so she was able to give him a proper kiss.

     Levi shook his head. »They told me I was fine. And the principal gave me off tomorrow.«

     »You should take it easy. Are you sure you are okay? I am staying overnight and make sure that you can sleep well. Anything special you want to eat? I can-« He cut her off with a kiss and chuckled.

     »Calm down, will you. Please believe me, I am alright.« He knew that she only meant well but it wouldn’t do her any good if she worried too much. »But that cake you mentioned earlier sounds really good right now.« He took her cold hands and held them to his lips, placing feather-light kisses on her fingers.

     [Name] leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead before she leaned in for a second hug. »One of us is always worried about the other.«

     »Isn’t that normal when you’re in love?« he asked. It was a rhetorical question. Of course, it was normal. He was always worried about [Name]. He only saw her on weekends. He didn’t know what she was doing when she was at university. And the fear that something could happen to her was always with him. That she would get hurt. That she would stop loving him – he was afraid. But here and now, everything was okay.

 

     »Excuse us,« Erwin stood in the doorway, »but they are kicking us out. Are you ready to go?«

     [Name] jumped off the bed and reached for Levi’s jacket. His movements were slower and more hesitant than usual, he still seemed unsteady on his feet and she helped him dress properly before they headed towards Erwin and Mike.

     Levi took his girlfriend’s hand in his own and squeezed it lightly. He was happy he could leave. He hated hospitals. Everything was white and hopeless; the smell was disgusting and the only thing he associated with hospitals was death. He didn’t think of help or a solution, not of treatment and hope – everything he could think of when he was near a hospital was desperation. Hopelessness. _The end_. [Name] seemed to think similar. She looked to the floor while they left the building and didn’t say another word until the fresh night air surrounded her. She couldn’t breathe in hospitals. Her mother had died in that hospital. It had only occurred to her the moment they had left the room Levi was in. There were too many bad memories. The smell, the atmosphere, the nurses and doctors, the sounds, everything. She wanted to forget. The moment they stepped outside, she took a deep breath and let go.

 

✿✿✿

 

     [Name] was mostly silent on their way back to Levi’s house. She sat next to him on the backseat of Mike’s car and kept her eyes closed. She was tired. The worry and the running had taken their toll on her and she was glad when she could go to bed later. But first, she had to make sure Levi was alright. After all the times he had cared for her, she could finally give something back. She would make him a soup and let him lay down on the sofa. He better didn’t touch anything or try to help her. He needed to rest and feel good after what he had experienced.

     The one thing she had never wanted was one of her friends to experience what she went through last year – panic and anxiety attacks felt more awful than anything else. She really hoped that he had lost consciousness so he wouldn’t go through too much of the symptoms. Her own panic attack had felt like it had lasted for hours on end. Hours of self-loathing and feeling like she would die.

     A cold shiver ran down her spine and her eyes snapped open the moment Mike had reached Levi’s house. Levi and [Name] thanked both of them and left the car. They entered the house and [Name] sighed. The familiar atmosphere of Levi’s home calmed her nerves and her mind.

     »Go and lay down on the sofa,« she advised him and he wasn’t going to argue with her. He made his way to the living room and laid down, a pillow under his head and [Name] covered him with a soft blanket she had taken out of one of the drawers. She gave him a kiss and headed to the kitchen.

     Levi closed his eyes and tried to relax – but he just couldn’t get Jennifer’s thread out of his mind. Why was he so scared? That girl was barely even taller than him and she didn’t look like she had the strength to physically hurt another person. But he knew she wasn’t dumb. And hopefully, she had learned her lesson. Her parents wouldn’t be pleased to hear that their daughter got expelled from school because she tried to seduce and blackmail two of her teachers. But he could imagine that she was a manipulative little shit and would find a way out of that situation. Levi knew Zackly well enough to be sure that she would never be able to go to this school again but that didn’t prevent her from hurting his girlfriend.

     When the thought became too bad, he decided that he needed to focus on something else and do it fast. He would go crazy and maybe suffer from an anxiety attack again if he didn’t stop. So, he concentrated on something else. He heard [Name] shuffling around in the kitchen and humming a song. He thought of her. Her beautiful smile, the calming sound of her voice, her beautiful, beautiful eyes and the way they looked at him when they were alone. Her movements which were elegant and the way she tried to hide her face when she was embarrassed. A smile crossed his lips. How did he get this lucky?

 

     »Dinner’s ready,« she called from the kitchen and Levi got up slowly. He was a bit dizzy. He hated feeling so weak and he just wanted to go to sleep, holding his precious [Name] to his chest so she would chase away his nightmares.

     He sat down and began eating his soup. It was warm and tasty and everything he needed right now. He wasn’t hungry but the soup did him well. It warmed up his insides and since [Name] made it especially for him to get better, he was happy to eat it all up. [Name] did the dishes while he ate and hummed a song he vaguely recognized as one of the piano pieces she liked to listen to.

     This was the first time when he thought about marrying that woman. To wake up next to her every day, to see her fussing around the house, to clean together, cook together, make decisions together, to have a family. He nearly let his spoon fall into the plate when he realised that. His cheeks turned red. It was way too early to think about marriage or even having kids with [Name]. She was only nineteen. But if he was lucky enough to still be by her side five years from now, he decided in that moment, he would ask her to marry him. Definitely.

     [Name] turned around to smile at him. »You know, I wanted to tell you about what I found out about Aurora Hearst,« she began, »last Friday, Historia, Armin and I went to Erwin’s old high school and met the caretaker and the principal. Both remembered her and gave us a bit of information about her persona.«

     »And what was she like?« he asked, finishing his last spoon of soup. He brought the plate to the counter and [Name] took it out of his hands before she made him sit back at the table.

     »They told us that she was a very sweet, kind and caring girl,« she continued, »they also told us that she was a brilliant artist and fantastic singer. She was overall creative and everyone seemed to really love her. But the principal also told us that her homelife was difficult. She spent most of her time at school.«

     »That description reminds me of someone I know,« Levi remarked.

     [Name] nodded. »That’s what the principal and the caretaker told me. They said that my appearance reminded them of her. The principal told us that she had an older brother who died after she graduated high school. She left the city afterwards and they don’t know where she is now.«

     »But at least you know what kind of person she was back then. No wonder Erwin is head over heels for her. You know, my aunt – Mikasa’s mom – works in a different city. I could ask her to help look for that woman since I don’t believe Mikasa asked her. But only if you want.«

     [Name] dried her hands and approached her boyfriend. She gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose. »That would be really kind of you, Levi. Thank you.«

     »Everything for you,« he whispered before he captured her lips and kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this fluff ♥ It cures my heart and soul.
> 
> Please, keep yourselves warm and enjoy your week! ♥ (I have exams the next week, wish me luck q.q)


	16. Picture

     Levi awoke the next morning, [Name] in his arms and feeling way better than the evening before. He inhaled deeply, burying his nose in his girlfriend’s hair and closed his eyes again. He was in no rush to get up since the principal had given him the day off, it was still relatively early and [Name] was soundly asleep. Everything was fine. Again, the thoughts from yesterday came back to his mind – waking up to [Name]’s sleeping face every day, having her in her arms, seeing her fuss around the house. He dozed off again and dreamed of a potential future with his girlfriend. He couldn’t imagine not having her in his life anymore.

     He was in and out of sleep for over an hour before [Name] eventually woke up. By now, he could always tell when she was slowly pulled out of sleep, her breathing would become more agitated, her brows furrowed and she would start mumbling nonsense. She would try to shift closer to him, her hands softly wandering to the base of his neck and she would exhale in relief when she had made sure he was still beside her. It was literally the cutest thing ever.

     »Good morning,« she mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed and she nuzzled her face back into his chest after he chuckled. He placed kisses on the top of her head and massaged her back. She sighed contently. »Please, don’t stop.«

     He felt how tense she was and he was more than determined to relief her of some of that tension. She kept on sighing when he put pressure on some knots in her back and shuffled closer while he still kept his hands on her back, massaging her tense muscles. »What did you do?« he asked curiously. No one should be this tense. He wondered if she had back pain often.

     »Stress, mostly,« she murmured, having drifted back to sleep, »and maybe the position I sit in while drawing. Not healthy.« She yawned. »How are you feeling?«

     »Better than yesterday,« he answered.

     »That’s good.« She shifted so she could place a kiss on his lips. »I’m going to make sure you take it easy today. This is the ultimate chance to pamper you and I am not going to miss it.« She smiled and kissed him again.

 

     After breakfast, [Name] insisted that Levi laid down on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and rested while she put on an apron and gloves to do the cleaning. Over the time, she kind of picked up Levi’s cleaning habits though she would never be such an obsessive clean freak – even though she found it very cute. Men rarely did the household as good as Levi not even Erwin or Moblit. She got the duster out of the cupboard and put some music into the player for Levi to listen to before she started to dust the living room.

     The living room always was the cleanest room in the house and there were several reasons for it – for one, Levi and [Name] spent a decent amount of time in the living room and Levi didn’t want to spent his time in an environment that was dirty. Second, the living room was where he normally brought his guests to since the kitchen was too small. And the last reason, Levi considered his living room the most beautiful room in the house and wanted it as clean and presentable as possible. Quite simple, actually and [Name] could understand the fuss he made about it. Since she wanted him to just relax, she tried her best to clean everything to his standards.

     »[Name], you really don’t have to do this. I am fine, I swear,« he tried to tell her after she had avoided getting hit by a book. »I can help you, please.«

     »Don’t you dare move!« she said. »You should relax. Please, Levi, let me do this. You cared for me even before we became a couple and I want to give you something back. I can handle this. You know I had a panic attack and that I am well aware of it’s aftereffects. Don’t worry about me, it’s just cleaning.« She turned back around and caught the second book that came crashing down that day just in time.

     Levi sighed but smiled and got up ultimately. He wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s waist and pulled her towards him. »It’s clean, [Name], it’s more than I could wish for. Come sit with me on the sofa before I have to give you back to Hanji. _Please_.«

     »Didn’t I tell you not to move?« She sighed. »I feel so useless.«

     He planted kisses along her neck and heard her sighing contently. Her neck was her most sensitive spot. »You aren’t,« he said, »but I like pampering you more than being pampered myself. I would rather have you in my arms than see you cleaning, knowing I can’t help you since you won’t let me. I don’t like seeing you doing things on your own which can be done together. Makes me feel like I make you do it. So please, let’s just cuddle a bit.«

     »I can’t say no to you.«

     He smiled into her neck. »I know.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     Unfortunately, their couple time ended just shortly after lunch. Mike and Erwin came by for a surprise visit and [Name] got a call from Hanji at the same time that they needed help to clean out Moblit’s apartment. They didn’t want to part and it sounded quite ridiculous but Hanji picked [Name] up eventually. Levi promised her though that they would go out of town over the weekend and [Name] was more than happy to hear that. Finally, some time without any disturbances.

     [Name] had never been at Moblit’s place before and was a bit surprised when she entered the apartment he had lived in for the past several years. She had to admit that she imagined it differently but maybe it was just the moving boxes everywhere, who knew. Moblit seemed to be in the bedroom and Hanji went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning while Moblit asked [Name] if she would do the honours of sorting out his workspace.

     »I can’t take all my drawings with me,« he told her, »most of them are sketches that are way too old to ever start them over again. I trust you so please, would you be so kind to decide which sketches to keep and which ones to throw away? That would be a great help.«

     »Of course,« she agreed smiling. He got up and showed her the way to his workspace.

     »Hanji and I agreed to share her workspace back at her house,« he said, »it is big enough for the two of us and I don’t really draw anymore, anyway.«

     »Why?« Her voice sounded a bit sad. »You are an amazing artist, Moblit.«

     Moblit just smiled and laid a hand on her head. »You know, [Name], I love drawing but I have never been as talented or even determined as you. I chose to pursue a career in science and I am very happy with drawing being a little hobby. Also, I found something which makes me much happier. Spending my time with Hanji is better than drawing alone behind closed doors.«

     A soft smile crossed her lips. »I understand.«

     Moblit returned to his bedroom and left [Name] on her own. She looked around. His former workspace was big and it seemed like there were a lot of papers stacked away in those shelves. Well, that would take some time. She wanted to go through it systematically, beginning with the shelf right next to her.

     She figured that those were the most recent works of Moblit and she looked through them slightly giggling since nearly all of them were sketches of Hanji. Hanji smiling, Hanji thinking, Hanji with dirt on her cheeks – most likely he drew it after an explosion during chemistry class – and one even showed Hanji dancing. It must’ve been the night of [Name]’s prom.

     [Name] decided to put those in the box for the ones he would keep – Hanji was the woman he loved and he must’ve put his heart into those sketches so she didn’t want to waste any of them. It was the same with the next two folders, all sketches of Hanji and his friends. She even found one of herself and wondered when he drew that. He had captured her features really, really well.

 

     It took her roughly two hours to get through all the papers and by the time she held the last folder in her hands, she was pretty exhausted. Moblit seriously had a habit of not throwing stuff away. She had put countless papers in the bin and she even found completely unused ones she put in a separate folder so he could use them sometime.

     The last folder was the smallest one. The date on the front told her that the sketches in there must be ten years or older. She carefully shuffled through the papers, some of the sketches weren’t really well done and she threw them away. Others were very pretty and she decided to keep them – and if he didn’t want them anymore, she would ask him if she could have them. No great pictures should be thrown away.

     She was almost done when one particular picture in the folder caught her eyes. For one, it was actually coloured. Moblit relied on a pencil and he never coloured his pictures, so that was new. And the other reason was, obviously, the motive. The picture showed a smiling young woman with two different-coloured eyes and sandy blonde, shoulder-long hair. It was Aurora. Or at least they looked alike. She took the picture in her hands and got up. Her knees hurt pretty badly from kneeling on the floor for so long but she didn’t have time to think about that.

     »Moblit?« She found him still in his bedroom. »Who is the person on that picture?«

     »Hm?« He looked up, puzzled, and came closer to look at his own drawing. Suddenly, his eyes widened in surprise and he took the paper from [Name]’s hand. »I didn’t know I had kept it,« he said, »this drawing must be ten years old. And yes, I do remember that woman. It was the only one of my sketches I ever coloured because of her beautiful eye colours. I met her at a park shortly after I graduated from high school. She was very sweet, maybe a year or so older than me. She sat on a bench on a nice summer day and was drawing herself. I asked her if I could draw her and she said yes. But why are you asking?« He handed the paper back to [Name].

     »She looks like the woman I am looking for,« [Name] said excited, »Erwin’s first love.«

     Moblit blinked and looked back at the picture. »That’s her? That’s Aurora?«

     [Name] nodded. »Can I keep this, perhaps?«

     »Ah, yes, of course. Are you finished?«

     After another fifteen minutes, everything was finally packed and they could head back home. It was already dark outside when they reached Hanji’s house and [Name] helped them to carry the boxes inside. They would get the rest tomorrow and sell the furniture they couldn’t keep. Moblit and [Name] cooked dinner while Hanji already began unboxing the cartons. Moblit didn’t have a lot of stuff since he had most of his belongings already here. He did have a lot of books though and Hanji came down to ask [Name] if she could put some of them in her room since they had to buy another book shelf to stack all of those.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Later that evening, [Name] spoke to all of her friends to tell them the news. She sent them the picture in a group chat and they discussed what to do next. They had been chatting for over half an hour when Bertolt suddenly came up with an idea.

 

_Bertolt: » You know where she went to school, right? She may not be living in that city anymore but maybe she still has relatives there. Why don’t you go to the local residence registration office? «_

_Me: » … I never actually thought of that … «_

_Reiner: » Wait, I thought you had already done that? Come on, [Name]. «_

_Me: » Sorry, that completely slipped my mind! I’ll look it up on Google Maps and try to get there! … Does anyone want to come with me …? «_

_Eren: » Sorry, I’m at work. But good luck! «_

_Jean: » I am down with a cold, sorry, [Nickname]. «_

_Mikasa: » Armin and I are going to some … What was it again? Yeah, well, we can’t, either. «_

_Bertolt: » I can take you. I am going to pick you up tomorrow at eight in the morning, is that alright? «_

_Me: » Aw, thank you so much, Bertl! Eight is alright, I am setting my alarm clock right now. «_

_Annie: » I would’ve accompanied you if it wasn’t for the fact that I am currently abroad. «_

_Me: » Sorry for waking you up with all our messages, Annie. «_

_Annie: » Nah, it’s fine. Tell us how it went and go the fuck to sleep, little one. «_

 

     [Name] yawned and bid her friends good night before setting her alarm clock and putting her pyjamas on. She was pretty tired and the fact that she was so nervous about tomorrow didn’t help her to sleep at all. She tossed and turned around at least a hundred times after laying down. There were just too many things on her mind.

     That picture had really blown her away. Moblit, of all people, met Aurora and even drew her. If he had been eighteen at that time, she must’ve been nineteen, the same age as [Name] was now. She took the paper from her nightstand and looked at it in the darkness. The longer she looked at it, the more she had the impression that she had seen that face before, somewhere. Or was it just her sleep-deprived mind that played tricks on her? She couldn’t tell.

     Her eyes grew heavier and heavier until she dropped the paper and finally fell asleep.


	17. Trace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2.40am and I just woke up on the carpet after passing out from an anxiety attack. This sucks.  
> But at least I remembered to upload the chapter, yay ♥  
> I am not going to say much about this, just read and feel ^-^
> 
> Please, enjoy ♥

     »[Name]!«

     She murmured something and turned around in her bed. She was still too sleepy to wake up and she had no intention to do so. It was still too dark outside to wake up, what time was it even? And why was someone calling her name? Was she dreaming?

     »[Name]!« Again, someone called her name but she was already drifting back off to sleep. Well, that was until she heard fast footsteps on the stairs and someone bursting into her room just seconds after that. »[Name], darling, you overslept!« Hanji stormed into her room and pulled the blanket from her tiny body. »Bertolt is here, ready to take you with him! Have you forgotten?«

     [Name] had never been awake that fast in her life. Completely dazzled, she stumbled out of bed, grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to make herself a bit more presentable. That was exactly what she had tried to prevent from happening – didn’t she set the alarm clock before she went to sleep? Or was her slumber so deep that she didn’t hear the alarm going off? In her hurry, she didn’t even mind to brush her hair and she was sure that her choice of clothing would be horrible but she had let Bertolt wait already and she didn’t want to make it any worse for him. How embarrassing.

     When she finally ran down the stairs – nearly stumbling over her own two feet – Bertolt was standing in the middle of the living room, talking to Moblit who wanted to at least give him some money for the petrol.

     »I am fine, Mr. Berner, please, keep your money. It was my idea to accompany [Name], so please, don’t worry about that.« He smiled politely at Moblit who sighed in defeat and put his money back into his pocket. »But your offer was very kind,« Bertolt added, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

     »I get it, I get it … Can I at least offer you some breakfast? A cup of tea or coffee? Or a sandwich for the ride?« Moblit simply couldn’t let him go without doing him a favour. Since Bertolt was standing with his back towards the stairs, he didn’t notice [Name] but when Moblit saw her, he sighed. »[Name] didn’t have breakfast yet and I am not keen on letting her go without something to eat. Please, join us for breakfast, we have enough coffee and food for an extra guest.«

     Bertolt turned around and smiled at [Name] who just apologized, her hair still in a wild disarray and her clothes looked anything but neat. »Alright, I give up. Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Berner, that’s really very kind of you. And don’t worry, [Name], I already thought that you had overslept after you didn’t answer my phone calls.«

     She went beet red. »I am so, so sorry! This never happened before. God, how embarrassing …«

     Bertolt just gave a heartfelt laugh and ruffled through the mess that was her hair. »Let’s get you fed, okay? It’s early enough and I don’t think there will be a lot of people at the registration office today.«

     They went to the kitchen where Hanji was already pouring coffee into three mugs and tea in a fourth and greeted the young adults with a bright smile. She made [Name] and her friend sit down and brought them their mugs before sitting down next to Moblit, kissing his cheek. While they ate and chatted, [Name] began thinking. The way Moblit had desperately wanted to offer Bertolt something for taking her to the next city, the way Hanji poured coffee and tea every day, the way they lived together now – something inside her said that it was something she had deeply missed and also needed in her life. A warm feeling spread inside her and she leaned back in her chair, taking her mug filled with some fruit tea and closed her eyes for just a brief moment. This, [Name] thought, felt like a real family. And she wouldn’t trade her family, consisting of Hanji, Moblit, Erwin, Levi and all her friends, for all the gold in the world. Because this feeling was worth more than anything she could think of.

 

     Not long after finishing breakfast, Bertolt and [Name] bid Hanji and Moblit goodbye and headed out of the door. Hanji and Moblit, both having the day off, went back to the kitchen after seeing them off to clean up. While doing the dishes, Hanji smiled to herself which didn’t go unnoticed by her partner. »What are you thinking about?« he asked.

     Hanji giggled. »You know, I was just thinking that Erwin would deserve an award for the best teacher of the year. His former students go to such lengths to see him happy, he must’ve had a positive impact on all of them, not just [Name]. I mean, sure, [Name] asked them to help her look for that Aurora-woman but none of them declined her request and they are even willing to take [Name] wherever she wants. I don’t think they are doing this just for their friend. Erwin was their teacher and I know that he loves all of his students. He was a very good role model and always there whenever someone needed advice or someone to talk to. They want to give him something back and I think that is beautiful.«

     »You couldn’t be more right,« Moblit replied, »I always thought [Name] had good friends but they prove me right every time I see them. Not only do they love [Name], they also want to make Erwin happy. I hope he knows what beautiful human beings he’s been teaching and raising these past few years.«

     »Aw, I love you!« She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Moblit nearly fell backwards if it wasn’t for the fact that he stood with his backside against the counter and smiled into the kiss while he grabbed Hanji’s waist to prevent her from squishing him to death with her exuberance. »You know, I am so, so glad that I asked you out back then. And I think I never really thanked [Name] for encouraging me to do so.«

     Moblit laughed. »I guess, I never thanked her as well. Without her, we wouldn’t be together now.«

     »She should consider a career in matchmaking. She brought us together and she gave Levi the happiness in his life he desperately needed. And now she’s off finding the woman Erwin has been infatuated with for thirteen years. I think heaven send her to us.« She leaned against her partner. »You know, I am a bit sad that I can’t adopt her.«

     Moblit kissed her temple. »Do you really need a piece of paper to claim her as your daughter?«

     Hanji looked at Moblit with wide eyes – he wasn’t entirely sure but were those tears in the corners of her beautiful eyes? »You’re so right. I don’t need that. She’s my little baby and I don’t want to ever lose her. I think that’s what Freya would want, too.«

     »Freya?« It was an unusual name. »Do you mean [Name]’s mother?« Moblit had always avoided asking Hanji about her. Her second death day was approaching and he didn’t want to open up old wounds so he never asked about [Name]’s mother. »You never told me a single thing about her.«

     »It’s still hard to speak about her. She was only thirty-three when she died, she was two years older than Mike. But she got pregnant with [Name] when she was only sixteen and she had to give up school to raise her. Her parents kicked her out, they were conservative Christians. We met when I was in my first year of high school. She became my senior. [Name] was already in kindergarten when we befriended. Freya was the most loving and kind woman I have ever met – well, apart from [Name]. And,« she gulped and bit back her tears, »I miss her.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     Meanwhile, [Name] and Bertolt had reached their destination and were now waiting to get called into the office. Against Bertolt’s earlier statement, there were quite a few people waiting before them, so they had to sit it out and wait. [Name] apologized again since she felt it was her fault but Bertolt didn’t really seem to care – he had nothing else to do anyway and he took the opportunity to talk to [Name] a bit. It had been a while since they had had the chance to meet, the last time they had seen each other was on [Name]’s birthday and that was over a month ago. [Name] asked him about his studies at the conservatoire and Bertolt seemed very interested in [Name]’s art projects and so the time flew by without them really noticing. And before they knew it, they could enter the office.

     It must’ve been a funny sight for the secretary at the desk, there was a difference in height between the two that really stood out. [Name] and Bertolt shook the secretary’s hand before sitting down in front of her desk. He wore a polite smile. »How can I help you two?«

     »We are here because we are looking for someone,« [Name] began. Bertolt was a bit proud of her development. A year ago, she would’ve never been the one to do all the speaking. »We know that she was a resident in this city twelve years ago and we were wondering if she has relatives living near. Can you help us, perhaps?«

     The man nodded. »That’s why we’re here. What’s her name?«

     »Her name is Aurora Hearst.«

     The man typed something and looked at his screen with a concentrated look. He seemed pleased with something. »There is no one called Aurora Hearst living in this town but we have a hit with the name Hearst. His name is Adrian Hearst and if I am right, he should be the father of the woman you’re looking for.«

     [Name]’s eyes lit up. »Really? Oh my god, finally!« She smiled.

     The secretary laughed. »Seems like you really need to find that woman, do you?«

     [Name] nodded. »She’s important to someone dear to me and I have been looking for her since an entire month now. I am so happy that we finally have a trace of her.«

     »He lives near, actually,« the secretary said, »and he seems to be retired. I can give you the address if you want to give it a go and ask him about his daughter.«

     »That would be really kind of you, thank you,« Bertolt answered. He didn’t think that things would go so smoothly but who was he to complain about that. It that meant they would find Aurora, he would drive to the next country if he had to. Mr. Smith was a kind man and he was important to [Name], there really wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to help.

 

     With the address of Aurora’s father in her pocket, [Name] sat nervously beside Bertolt in his car and looked out of the window to count the numbers on the doors. Since they had enough time, they wanted to visit the man and hopefully get some information about his daughter’s whereabouts. [Name] hadn’t been so nervous and excited in a really long time. She would finally come close to the mystery with the name Aurora Hearst and hopefully bring good news home to Erwin. She felt like a little child on the night before Christmas.

     »I hope he is nice and not a grumpy old man like Jean’s grandfather.«

     »Oh god, please, don’t remind me of him. The last time I’ve seen him, he crashed Jean’s sixteenth birthday party, telling us all off and shouting at poor Armin.« Bertolt shivered. He really hoped that Mr. Hearst wasn’t anything like that.

     »Well, the last time I’ve seen him, he was arguing with the neighbour, accusing her of stealing some of his apples or whatnot. I was just glad that he didn’t see me, I don’t know what happened if he did. He hates me.« [Name] simply kept on with the small talk to calm down her nerves, all the while counting the numbers on the houses.

     »Not only you, I think he likes no one.« Bertolt drove very slowly. »And Jean hates him, too.«

     »Sadly, we can’t even blame his behaviour on his wives death. Jean told me that he had always been like that even when his wife was still alive.«

     »Well, not even love can change someone in a better way sometimes. I am really glad that my grandparents are okay.«

     [Name] was about to reply something when she spotted the house they were looking for. »There it is,« she said when they reached the house with the number seventy-three. It was a beautiful little house, really. A neat white fence, flower beets covered in snow, smoke came out of the chimney and it looked overall very neat and welcoming. Bertolt parked his car and they emerged from it. Even he felt nervous and excited at the same time, having heard the things some people had said about that Aurora-woman and he was curious to meet the father of that woman. He wanted to know what the man was like and hoped that he was as nice as the description of his daughter. Mr. Smith surely deserved to know where she had ended up and if she wasn’t in a relationship already, he definitely deserved a chance with her.

     She took a deep breath when they passed the fence and weren’t attacked by a huge dog. Bertolt was the first to reach the door and gave [Name] one final look before he rang the doorbell. It was so quiet around them that [Name] could clearly hear her heartbeat. She was trembling with excitement and anxiety and gripped the sleeve of Bertolt’s jacket for a bit of support.

     And then, the door opened. An elderly man, probably in his late fifties, opened the door. His eyes were bright blue and he wore a pair of round glasses. He looked very friendly with his silly Christmas jumper and the reindeer slippers on his feet.

     But before [Name] or Bertolt could introduce themselves, Mr. Hearst’s eyes went wide and he said with a trembling voice, »Freya?«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG CLIFFHANGER. Yes, yes, I am an evil little shit, hehe.  
> Any guesses for the next chapter?
> 
> Have a nice week and keep yourselves warm and save, please ♥


	18. Heritage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ^-^  
> I don't want to waste any words here, so please, enjoy! ♥
> 
> The song is "Over the Rainbow" ♥

_Someday, I wish upon a star_

_Wake up where the clouds are far behind me_

_Where trouble melts like lemon drops_

_High above the chimney top_

_That's where you'll find me_

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Bluebirds fly_

_And the dreams that you dare to_

_Oh why, oh why can't I?_

_Well, I see trees of green and red roses too_

_I'll watch them bloom for me and you_

_And I think to myself_

_What a wonderful world_

 

 

_The Canadian musician Robbie Robertson once said, »You don’t stumble upon your heritage. It’s there, just waiting to be explored and shared.«_

 

 

     »Freya?« Mr. Hearst asked with a trembling voice and [Name] blinked in confusion. »No, it can’t be you, you look too young! Is my mind playing tricks on me again? But you look like Freya!«

     »Uhm, sir,« [Name] began, »I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about. Why do you know the name of my mother?«

     Tears began forming in his blue eyes. »Your mother? Oh, dear lord, it’s really you! You’re her daughter! Please, come in, come in, you must be freezing! Where are my manners, I am so sorry, please, step inside.« The man ushered them inside and [Name] and Bertolt had no choice but to comply and enter the small house. »If you would just be so kind as to take off your shoes. Here, have some slippers, my home is not updated and I rely on a normal heater instead of in-floor heating. Let me hang up your jackets! Oh lord, it’s so sad Alyssa can’t see this!«

     »Who is Alyssa?« Bertolt whispered but [Name] just gave him a look that told him that she was currently not in a position to answer the question. There were too many she had herself.

     The two young adults followed the elderly man inside his living room where he told them to sit down on a rusty looking sofa – Bertolt was kind of worried that it wouldn’t hold his weight – and asked them if they wanted to have something to drink. »Can I make you some tea? Or coffee? A glass of orange juice maybe or just some water? Oh, please, let me offer you something!«

     »Uhm, a-a glass of water is fine,« [Name] answered, clearly overwhelmed by Mr. Hearst’s strange antics. The man was clearly crying tears of joy and she couldn’t figure out why. Overly happy with her answer, Mr. Hearst went to the kitchen.

     »Do you know what’s going on here?« Bertolt was just as confused as [Name] herself. »Why does this man know the name of your mother? And what has he got to do with you?«

     »I wished I could answer your questions, Bertl, but I honestly have no clue what the hell is going on right now.« [Name] looked around. No, this place didn’t seem familiar at all. Was he once a customer of her mother? She knew that she had to work as a waitress to keep herself alive and that many old people took pity on her and left her generous tips. Maybe he had been one of those friendly and kind old people? Who knew.

     Mr. Hearst returned with two glasses of water and a plate with cookies which he served his guests before he took a seat opposite from them and smiled brightly. »Now, I assume you have many questions but I am just so happy that you came to visit me. It’s been so many years.«

     »Sir, I don’t want to be rude but are you sure you’re not mistaking me for someone else? We are just here by chance because we were looking for someone.« [Name] felt bad to tell him this, she didn’t want that friendly and warm smile to disappear.

     But it did. »O-Oh … Freya never told you about me? Us?«

     [Name] swallowed dryly. »N-No, I-I am so sorry, sir … Would you mind telling me where you know my mother from?«

     »Oh, dear, oh dear … My son must’ve hurt her so bad she wanted to forget about us …« The man wiped away the tears on his face and smiled again. »I am your grandfather.«

     Bertolt choked on a sip of water and [Name] dropped her phone which she had been holding the entire time. Her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. »I-I beg your pardon?«

     The man chuckled. »Yes, yes, I am your grandfather, my dear. My late son was your mother’s boyfriend at the time she got pregnant. Did your mother really never tell you about your father? Or your grandparents?«

     »Not that I remember.« [Name] was in obvious shock. This couldn’t be real, things like that only happened in damn soap operas. This simply wasn’t real – or was it? She was so confused she didn’t even notice Bertolt shaking her shoulder. She just stared at the man who was looking at her with the warmest smile she had seen in a while. Only now did she take a closer look at him; he was about sixty years old, balding, snow-white hair. He was shaven clean, his eyes were a radiant blue. He wore an ugly Christmas sweater, comfy slippers and looked just like the picture-perfect portrait of a loving grandfather.

     »You don’t believe me, do you? Wait a minute, I have something for you.« The man stood up from his armchair and went to a drawer. He took out a framed picture, came back to the two young adults and handed them the photo. »This was the day of your birth. My wife and I brought your mother to the hospital and I held her hand throughout the entire time. I can clearly remember the strong grip that tiny hand had. After my wife and your mother held you, I was allowed to take a look at my beautiful grandchild. It was the happiest day in my life right after the day my own children were born. You were the tiniest but cutest baby I have ever seen.«

     Tears were forming in [Name]’s eyes. There was her mother, smiling an exhausted smile and a woman with a loving smile on her face next to her – the woman reminded her fairly of Aurora. And the man in the middle of the picture looked prouder than anyone else she had ever seen, holding a little baby wrapped in a light-blue blanket with duck-print. It was her baby blanket, she remembered it. »Why did my mother never tell me about you?« she whispered and wiped away the tears while handing Mr. Hearst the photo back.

     »Ah, must’ve been my son’s doing,« a sad look replaced his warm smile, »my son – your father – was a – a terrible person, really. He was aggressive and abusive towards my wife and his little sister and I think he was also abusive towards your mother. We had him checked and the doctors diagnosed some incoherencies in his brain that caused this level of violence. He didn’t take his meds and ultimately, we had to send him to a high school out of town because his sister was terrified of him. That’s where he met your mother. They dated for a little over a week before she stood on our doorstep, crying, telling us that he had forced her to have sex with him and got her pregnant. Her parents had kicked her out and we had taken her in. My son, you know, didn’t approve of her choice of keeping the baby and threatened her. After you were born and your mother had enough money, she moved out and we never heard from her again. For two years, she sent us pictures of you but that stopped, eventually.« He sat back down and it seemed like he had aged twenty years. »I can only imagine one thing: My son must’ve threatened her in some sort of way to never contact us again or he would harm you. I can’t think of another way as to why she stopped contacting us.«

     »Was my father really that terrible?« [Name] asked cautiously.

     Mr. Hearst nodded. »I wish I could tell you he was a loving person but he never wanted you. We did. My wife cared for Freya as well as she could. Sadly, she died half a year ago. But I’ve got lucky and got to meet you, [Name].«

     Hearing him say her name, bought tears to her eyes for the second time that day.

     »How is Freya? I hope she is fine. Does she even know that my son died several years ago? She could visit anytime!«

     [Name] burst into tears. »M-My mother is dead. She died in May two years ago after she was involved in a car crash. I am so sorry.«

     Mr. Hearst’s heart visibly broke. Bertolt who was still sitting next to [Name] on the sofa watched the poor guy’s heart being ripped out of his chest, thrown to the ground and literally bursting into a thousand shreds. He lost his son, he lost his wife, he thought he had lost his granddaughter and now she told him that Freya, who seemed to have been a really important person in his life, had died. He buried his face in his hands and cried. Bertolt felt so sorry for them. [Name] losing her mother had been so horrible for her that she still struggled to visit her grave, even after nearly two years. She had been broken so bad and it had taken so much to fix her, seeing her break again hurt his heart. And Mr. Hearst opposite from him, that poor old guy who had just been reunited with his granddaughter, seemed broken as well. What a cruel world they lived in.

 

✿✿✿

 

     After the two of them had calmed down, they went on with their talk about the family. [Name] told him about her and what her mother had done before her death and Mr. Hearst – who wanted her to call him grandpa – told her more about his family. His wife, Alyssa, had been a piano teacher and died from a heart attack. Adrian himself was retired but had been an arts teacher at an elementary school. That clearly explained where [Name]’s artistic roots came from. Bertolt could also notice similarities between them – they both had a smile that could melt hearts.

     After two hours, [Name] finally remembered why they were here in the first place. »Mr. He-, uhm, I mean, grandpa,« it felt strange yet so _good_ , »the reason why we’re here is because we are looking for your daughter – so, we’re looking for my aunt … I am confused …«

     Mr. Hearst gave a heartfelt laugh. »You’ll get used to it, I promise. And you’re looking for Aurora? Why is that? Nice coincidence.«

     »Someone who is very dear to [Name] is actually looking for your daughter, sir,« Bertolt wanted to make himself audible at least once this day, »we have been looking online for her but it is as if she has never existed. [Name] wants to find her so that person can talk to her again.«

     [Name] nodded. »He was one of our teachers in high school and he told me that Aurora was his first love. He never had the guts to speak to her but he’s still in love with the memory he has of her. I want to give him a chance to meet her.«

     »Ah, yes, my loving daughter … You know, after she graduated, she moved to another country but she came back three years ago. Six months ago, after her mother died, she deleted all of her social media accounts and started a new life. She quit her job as a geriatric nurse – she wasn’t happy with that job anyway – and took the chance to study at a renowned art school like she always wanted. She even told me that she wanted to get in contact with some of her old friends from high school but I don’t know if she has done that. She’s very busy since she could enter the master program right away.« Adrian looked at his granddaughter. »You and Aurora are very much alike. I am sure you will get along very well. Now, I do not possess a telephone but I can give you her new address if you like! I am sure she will be delighted to meet you.«

     »That would be so great!« [Name] exclaimed happily. »Thank you so, so much.«

     »No problem, my dear. But promise me to stay in contact. After all these years of thinking about you and not knowing what you look like or what you do I want to have a relationship with my only grandchild.«

     »This is a promise I will definitely keep.« [Name] stood up and gave her grandfather a hug. It felt so good to be enveloped in his arms, even if he still was somewhat of a stranger to her. »Why don’t you come visit us sometime? I think my family would love to meet you!«

     »Your family?« he asked. »You mean, your friends from school?«

     [Name] shook her head. »Well, those as well, but I live with a friend of my mother and her partner and Hanji is definitely like a second mother for me. And the teacher who’s looking for Aurora is like the father I never had. That’s why it’s so important for me to bring them together. He has done so much for me. He deserves to be happy.«

     »Your mother definitely raised a fine young woman. And your boyfriend seems like a very nice person, too.« Mr. Hearst looked at Bertolt and gave him a thumbs-up.

     »W-Wait, sir,« Bertolt stuttered, beet red, »[Name] and I are just friends! She has a boyfriend at home, I just volunteered to take her here.« He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

     »Oh, I apologize, then.« Adrian’s cheeks were tinted pink. »But well, you have a really good friend there, my dear. I hope we can meet each other again very soon.«

     »We will,« she assured him and hugged her grandfather, »and I do have great friends. I am grateful for every moment I can spend with them. Unfortunately, we have to go back, it will be a long ride. Thank you so much for everything, it was a pleasure to meet you. And maybe you should purchase a telephone.«

 

     With a smile on her lips, love in her heart and Aurora’s address in her pocket, [Name] left the house of her grandfather and they headed back towards their little town. [Name] still couldn’t really understand what had just happened but something inside her heart of gold told her that this was absolutely right. The coincidences were just crazy and unbelievable and she still had trouble accepting it was real but – she was happy. And she hoped Erwin would be, too.

     »Do you mind if I call Hanji?« she asked and Bertolt just gave her a smile. She took out her phone, looked for the number and pressed on the green button. »Hanji? You won’t believe what just happened.«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone guess that this would be the outcome? I have been planning this for sooo long and now, finally, I can share this with you! ♥ (I cried a little while writing, haha.)
> 
> Please, leave a kudos or a comment if you like it! Keep yourselves warm and save, please and have a nice week! ♥♥♥


	19. Synchronicity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> First of all, I can never thank you enough for all the support I recieve from you. You don't know how much this means to me and every single comment makes me happier than anything else could ♥ (Not even chocolate xD) No, but seriously, thank you all so much. You deserve all the love in the world ♥
> 
> I hope you can enjoy this chapter!

     Due to traffic and countless red traffic lights, it took Bertolt and [Name] three hours to reach their hometown. [Name] was tired and overwhelmed by all the new information she had gathered today and asked Bertolt if he could drop her off at Levi’s place. Hanji had been a little too enthusiastic on the phone and [Name] feared that she would just jump on her if she would come home right now. She needed a little nap to process everything and Levi’s bed was the perfect place for that. Since she knew he wasn’t home yet, she took the spare key he had given her.

     »Thank you so much for taking me, Bertolt. I am glad I didn’t have to do this on my own.«

     »Don’t worry, [Name], it was truly my pleasure. I know that Mr. Smith means a lot to you and seeing him happy would be a joy for us all. But really, I am still not over the fact that this man is actually your grandpa … I mean, how crazy is that?« Bertolt shook his head.

     [Name] sighed heavily. »I actually can’t quite believe it myself. But the pictures and the details he had … I just don’t think he is lying. I mean, why would he? I just wonder why my mother never told me about him. Or my father in general. If he really was that cruel and abusive, I am happy I didn’t know him.« [Name] looked at her hands. There was something very sad in her eyes. »I know so little about my blood-relatives. My mother got kicked out by her parents when she got pregnant and they didn’t have any contact at all afterwards. My biological father is dead and was an asshole and I have an aunt I didn’t know about who happens to be Erwin’s first love … This should be turned into a soap opera.«

     Bertolt laughed and ruffled through [Name]’s hair. »You should sleep over this first. You look very exhausted, [Nickname]. Hanji knows where you are and I can tell the others that we found a trace of Aurora. You can tell the others about your family whenever you feel ready.«

     »You are so kind, Bertl, how did I deserve such a kind friend like you?« She briefly hugged him before they exchanged a goodbye and [Name] got out of the car.

     It wasn’t the first time she was alone at Levi’s house but it felt lonely and just wrong when he wasn’t here. It was a bit lifeless without its owner and [Name] felt like she didn’t belong here whenever he wasn’t here. She was just so used to being at this place with Levi, she associated every space at this house with him. Today, [Name] didn’t give it much thought, though. She hung up her coat, took her shoes off and walked upstairs to Levi’s bedroom where she just collapsed on the bed. She took a brief glance at her phone to check if she had any new messages, turned it off and put it on the nightstand. She slipped under the covers and buried her nose in the pillow before slowly falling asleep.

 

     Usually, [Name] didn’t dream much. Nor did she even remember her dreams. But this time, she saw herself wander along a dark corridor. She shivered in her sleep and turned to the other side. In her dream, she looked around to see what was going on. The walls were just as dark as the floor and she herself seemed to be the only trace of light on this path. It was silent around her, only the echo of her footsteps followed her. She went on slowly, carefully, not sure what to expect.

     »Where am I?« she heard herself ask and immediately flinched at the volume of her own voice. The echo kept on and on and she turned to see if there was anyone else. But she was completely alone. When she looked back forward, the corridor was gone. Darkness was the only thing that remained and she felt her heart beat rapidly against her chest. »H-Hello? Is there someone?«

     Suddenly, the floor began vibrating as if she was in a house in the midst of an earthquake. She tried to scream but no sound came out. She closed her eyes, got on her knees and held her hands protectively over her head. The earthquake seemed to get worse and she began panicking. Tossing and turning in Levi’s bed, [Name] started breathing heavily while she tried to escape the nightmare that haunted her.

     »Make it stop,« she sobbed but the more she begged, the worse it got. She had the sick feeling that she was spun around. She felt sick and scared and helpless all at the same time and she wanted this to stop. But the moment the spinning stopped, the ground opened and she fell. [Name] screamed.

 

✿✿✿

 

     When Levi stepped out of the school that day, he took a deep breath. It had been a long and exhausting week and he wanted nothing more than go home, take a bath and go to bed early. [Name] would spend the weekend at his place since she had to go back to work on Monday and he wouldn’t have much of her, so they wanted to just relax and cuddle, kiss and whatnot. And he was so ready for this to happen. He bid Mike goodbye and jumped into his car, relieved that he didn’t have to face those stupid brats who couldn’t count to twenty for another two days.

     It was already late in the afternoon when he finally arrived at home. After closing and locking the door behind him, he got rid of his shoes, only to see his girlfriend’s converse standing next to his slippers. He smiled to himself. He knew that she wanted to go to the local registration office of Erwin’s hometown. Hopefully, she found what she was looking for. Since it was so quiet, Levi expected her to be asleep somewhere and hung his coat up before tiptoeing to the living room. He peaked in there only to find it empty. She must’ve gone upstairs, then. But when he put his foot on the first step, he heard a terrified scream.

     Faster than anyone could see, Levi ran upstairs and into his bedroom. [Name] turned and tossed in his bed, tears were streaming down her cheeks – she must experience a terrible nightmare. Levi gripped her shoulders and shook her gently. »[Name], wake up, it’s just a dream!« He wiped her tears away. »Hey, [Name]!«

     [Name] shot up with a yelp and seemed pretty confused. She sobbed a few times without realizing she did so and blinked a few times until Levi came clear into her view. »I-I had a nightmare,« she said, puzzled, and put her arms around his neck to nuzzle her face into his shoulder.

     »I know,« he just answered and pulled her into a hug, »did something bad happen today?«

     She shook her head. »No, nothing bad happened. Maybe it was just that too much happened today. But this was a nightmare of the worst kind, I dreamt I was falling.«

     »Sh, don’t talk about it. I can imagine how awful that felt. But it was just a dream and it’s over now. Do you want some tea and cookies?« It was a miracle of how sweet Levi Ackerman could become when he was worried about [Name]. She had definitely changed who he was but around her, only. She was the light of his life and made the same so much easier and happier. Levi had to admit that he didn’t know what love was until he had met [Name].

     Against her protests, he lifted her in his arms and carried her downstairs before sitting her down on the kitchen bench. He took out some cookies he bought the day before and made tea for both of them before they finally moved to the living room to cuddle on the sofa and talk about [Name]’s experiences.

     »You won’t believe what happened to me,« [Name] began while closing her eyes and putting her head on Levi’s chest, »you know that Bertolt and I went to the local registration office in Erwin’s hometown. We didn’t find Aurora herself but we got her father’s address.«

     »Wait, really? Aren’t you lucky, [Name]? Did you pay him a visit?«

     [Name] nodded. »His name is Adrian Hearst and he’s a truly nice and loving person. But that isn’t all. He told me that after the death of his wife six months ago, Aurora quit her job and re-started her life. She went back to university and entered the master course of a renowned art school. He gave me her address.«

     »And did you drive to that address?«

     [Name] shook her head. »She lives two hours away from here. But, there is something else, Levi.« She turned in his embrace to look into his storm-grey eyes while speaking. »Mr. Adrian Hearst is my paternal grandfather.«

     At first, Levi was quiet. His mouth stood agape, his eyes widened and for a second, he looked at his girlfriend like he would wait for her to burst out laughing, telling him that it was a joke. But [Name]’s face remained serious. »Again, what?«

     »Adrian Hearst, Aurora Hearst’s father, is my grandfather. His older son is my biological father. He knew my mother and he and his wife were actually there when I was born. That means, Erwin’s first love is my aunt. Don’t look at me like that, I am just as confused as you.«

     Levi blinked a few times. »Wait, just to get it right, while you were looking for Erwin’s first love you accidentally found your family? So that woman is actually your aunt?«

     [Name] sighed in exhaustion, closed her eyes and cuddled close to her boyfriend. »I know it’s unbelievable but he actually had _pictures_ of my mother while she was pregnant and of me when I was a baby as well!« She groaned. »There is literally no doubt though I can hardly believe it myself …«

     Levi put one of his hands on the base of her neck and started massaging her there until he felt her relax into his touch. »You know how fucking crazy that sounds, right?« [Name] mumbled something that Levi couldn’t understand since she had pressed her face into his chest. »I think you need to make yourself a bit clearer if you want me to actually understand you.«

     She turned her head to the side. »This is just crazy. But there is a term for something like that. I think it was called _synchronicity_. A concept which holds that events are meaningful coincidences if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related.«

     He chuckled. »Did you actually just quote Wikipedia?«

     »Maybe I did.« She gave him a kiss.

 

✿✿✿

 

     After a quick shower, Levi made [Name] get up and go out for a walk with him. He wanted her to think of something else since she was so worked up over what she had experienced today that she certainly needed some kind of distraction. He took her hand and saw the smile on her face.

     »Are you hungry?« he asked after a while.

     She nodded. She didn’t realize that she was hungry – she didn’t even have anything to eat throughout the day but she didn’t want to tell Levi since he would most likely just be worried again. Levi squeezed her hand and just went ahead, not telling his girlfriend where they were going. An idea just occurred to him and he thought that it would be a very good distraction for [Name].

     They walked for quite a while before Levi suddenly came to a halt and [Name], who had been lost in her thoughts, just ran straight into him. »Oh, sorry … wait, where are we?« She looked around, pretty confused.

     »I thought you would like to see one of your close friends,« Levi answered. He pointed at a nice looking restaurant opposite the street. »And we can have dinner there, too. I am glad I remembered where he worked …«

     [Name] smiled softly and let Levi lead her towards the restaurant. It was the facility Marco worked at and she had to admit that she would love to be around her best friend even for just a bit. Levi was her boyfriend and the love of her life but sometimes, a girl needed her best friend. Just seeing him would cheer her up and distract her. And Levi knew that very well. An elderly man greeted them when they entered and brought them to a table next to a window. It wasn’t very crowded that evening, which especially Levi was very happy for, and they could enjoy their dinner without shouting at each other because there weren’t many people.

     »Good evening,« a cheerful voice said and handed the couple the menu, »I’ll be your server for the night.« Marco stood there with a bright smile. He had a lighter in his hands and lit the candle on the table up. »The special for the night is on the first page of our menu and I would recommend the lemon parfait for dessert.« He laughed. »It’s so good to see you, [Name], Mr. Ackerman.«

     »Levi,« he said, »I am not your teacher anymore, I would appreciate it if you could call me by my first name.« [Name] wasn’t entirely sure but she might have seen a little smile on his face.

     »It’s good to see you too, Marco,« [Name] said, seeing that Marco was pretty confused, »and thank you for the recommendation. It’s been a while since we had the chance to hang out but you look great.«

     »Thanks and I can just return that compliment. Jean is down with a cold but I’m sure you know that already. But we could probably meet next week when you’re off your shift? I would love to catch up on some things. But I will let you choose your food now, please feel free to call me over when you’re ready.« He blinked and left to serve the next table.

     [Name] laughed. »He’s pretty awesome at doing this, don’t you think?« Levi nodded and reached for his girlfriend’s hand.

 

     After a very delicious meal, Levi sat on his final glass of wine and [Name] on her last glass of water. Their fingers were intertwined and they looked at each other like the other was the entire world for them – which was true.

     »It’s Valentine’s Day on Monday,« Levi said, »that means it will be one year since we first … you know. Been on a date and kissed. Since we confessed. You know what I mean.«

     She smiled kindly and brushed a loose strand behind her ear. »Yeah … Wow, I didn’t realize it has been a year already. You have made my life so much better, Levi, I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I love you so, so much, Levi.«

     »I am the one who is thankful. You make a better person out of me, [Name]. You are wonderful. You are kind, intelligent and so very special. I can’t understand how I got so lucky as to have you love me. Thank you, [Name]. I love you.«

     »Dessert anyone?« Marco stood beside their table with his radiant smile. [Name] looked up to him and burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, Marco can be a little shit sometimes xD  
> I am currently down with a cold but I have to go to work tomorrow anyway because reasons. I hate seasonal work ... Unfortunately, this is the last chapter I had pre-written but I am working hard so you can have a chapter every week! I was stuck in a little writing block for the last two weeks but I finally got rid of that and I am ready to go crazy again, haha.
> 
> Keep yourselves warm and save and have a nice week! ♥


	20. Aurora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers! ♥  
> I am so excited about this chapter and especially your reaction!  
> I would be so honoured to hear your opinion on this one, so please enjoy this chapter! ♥♥♥

     [Name] didn’t sleep much that night. There were too many thoughts running through her head and every time she closed her eyes, a new detail seemed to be keeping her awake. She still hadn’t processed everything that had happened. The shock faded and the happiness became dull and realization and acceptance slowly sunk in. _Very slowly_. It was half past three in the morning when she silently got out of bed as to not disturb Levi’s peaceful slumber and tiptoed to the kitchen. She made herself some tea and sat on the counter, letting her bare feet dangle in the air. She wore one of Levi’s pyjama tops and some shorts, she didn’t really look at them before putting them on. Normally, [Name] didn’t feel well when she was wandering alone through Levi’s house but the silence was quite nice at the moment. She sighed. »What have I gotten myself into,« she mumbled absentmindedly, »first I was looking for a complete stranger, then I get told that I have a lot in common with Aurora and now I am looking for my long lost aunt? Seriously, am I still dreaming? Is this a joke?« She looked outside the window into the darkness of the night. »Hey, mom,« she whispered, »why did you never tell me anything about my heritage? Is it really true that my father threatened you? Have you ever met Aurora in person? Were you two friends? If yes, what was she like? She must’ve been five years younger than you … There are so many questions I can’t answer. And you are not there anymore to tell me the truth. I never questioned where I came from, I never asked you about it. Was it so painful for you that you couldn’t tell me? Or was I simply too young to understand? I know, I should visit your grave more often but every time I do, I can’t help but gasp for breath. It is still so unreal that you aren’t here with me anymore … So many things have happened but I know that you are watching me from above. You know already that I have the most loving family on earth, don’t you? And you also know that I am dating Levi, right? You also must know that he loves me very much and that I love him just as much. Say, mom, did you ever feel like you were truly loved? I know you were married once but I didn’t like him. Have I ever told you I hated him? Probably not. I wanted you to be happy. Were you happy, mom? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?«

 

     Levi was standing on the landing, listening to his girlfriend talking to the memory of her late mother. She reminded him of himself at that age, he used to do that too after his mother had died. It had been a while since he last visited her grave. Five years? More? He couldn’t remember. It was just like [Name] said; the reality of her being gone was just too unbearable on the cemetery and every time he came near it, he couldn’t breathe anymore. Maybe, he thought as [Name] kept on talking, maybe he should visit the grave of his mother together with his girlfriend once. He needed to introduce the love of his life to his mother – she would never forgive him if he didn’t.

     When [Name] stopped talking, he decided to head downstairs. He had woken up from her leaving the bed but decided not to follow. But she didn’t return so he got up to look if she needed anything. He peeked into the kitchen and saw her sitting on the counter, still looking out of the window. Slowly, very slowly, he approached her and caressed her bare legs. She shrieked.

     »I-I thought you were asleep!« Her cheeks turned red. »How much did you hear?«

     »Pretty much everything,« he answered and placed a kiss on her lips. They tasted like the herbal tea she was drinking. »You don’t need to be ashamed. I did that very often when I was about your age. I was sitting in the kitchen at four o’clock in the morning, drinking some juice I found and stared out of the window, talking to my mother. But you also have to understand that there will always be questions left unanswered. I know you can accept that with time given but keeping yourself awake over something like that will do you no good. Please, come back to bed with me for a few hours.«

     [Name] put the empty cup in the sink right next to her and looked at Levi. His bed hair was worse than ever and there were clearly dark circles under his eyes. She knew he didn’t get enough sleep lately and she felt bad that he was up in the middle of the night – or well, early morning – just because of her. »I am sorry,« she whispered, »it was just so hard to find sleep, I went downstairs as to not wake you up. But I think I could use some sleep.« Placing another kiss on her lips, he lifted her off the counter and into his arms, carrying her to his bedroom without listening to her protests about her being able to walk herself.

     Levi placed his girlfriend on the bed, covered her with the blanket and laid down next to her before pulling her close. »Let’s make a deal,« he said, »I know you won’t be able to sleep in peace if we don’t visit your aunt as fast as possible. I’ll take you to her place after we had a decent amount of sleep, okay?« His eyes were already close and he slowly drifted back off to sleep. »Good night …« But [Name] had already fallen asleep.

 

✿✿✿

 

     Five hours and a lot of black tea later, [Name] and Levi sat in the latter’s car and were on their way to Aurora’s location. They stopped on their way at Hanji’s house to tell her and Moblit where they were going since their phones were turned off – Hanji nearly huffed her beloved little girl to death – and hit the road at ten o’clock in the morning. Since Aurora lived two hours away, they were lucky that the traffic wasn’t bad. Though [Name] felt very tired, she was too nervous to actually rest a bit like Levi told her to. After half an hour of driving herself insane she decided to text her friends about what she was to do.

     Bertolt wished her all the best while Reiner wanted an hourly update on the situation. Mikasa was somehow glad that Levi was going with her because she was naturally sceptical towards people and so was Eren who apparently was down with a cold. Armin sent her a picture of a cute little kid giving a thumbs-up and wished her all the best. Jean and Marco gave [Name] a call instead of answering through a text – they knew her well enough to guess that she was very nervous and needed some distraction. Historia told her that she would be waiting for a positive answer and Ymir read the message but never replied. Historia would keep her updated, anyway. Connie sent [Name] a picture of himself with an apron on, Sasha could be seen in the background. The caption read, »We’re trying to make some cake and Sasha said she could provide flowers for any occasion! Good luck!« [Name] giggled.

     »You’re friends seem to amuse you,« Levi said, »unbelievable, when I was a university student, no one would be up in the midst of holidays on a Sunday before twelve o’clock. But well, I did maths so, I guess that was a different topic.«

     »You have to tell me more about your time as a university student. I am convinced that you were already hella sexy back then.« [Name] laughed when Levi’s eyes widened. »Sorry, that was a term Hanji told me to use sometime. But to be honest, it is not the language I would normally use and I don’t really see myself talking like that. But your face was absolutely worth it, you know.«

     Levi just snorted and made a mental note to have a little chat with Hanji about being a bad influence for [Name]. But to be fair, if she thought he was sexy … well, he wouldn’t mind.

 

     Keeping the conversation up lightly, the time flew by without [Name] really noticing and before long, they arrived at the city Aurora was supposed to be living in. [Name] immediately felt strange. As soon as they had reached the city, she had to admit that she had never been to such a big city. She was quite intimidated by the enormous buildings and there were so many _people_. She grew up in a small town and wasn’t used to any of that at all.

     »Damn, it’s been a while since I’ve been here the last time. The city certainly changed … You okay, [Nickname]?« Levi took a brief look at his girlfriend before turning left.

     She nodded hesitantly. »It’s just … wow, I have never been to a place this crowded. I get the instant fear of getting lost. The navigation system is working, right?«

     »Don’t worry, [Name], the navigation system is working perfectly, I checked the address twice and you are not getting lost because the moment you will get out of this car, I will take your hand and not let go of it. Got it? Please, calm down. I don’t want you fainting on the spot.«

     »Do you think she’s even at home? I hope so … I won’t be able to sleep before I met her. It is sad and a bit impractical that my grandfather does not have a telephone.«

     »Everyone nowadays has a telephone. What would he do if something would happen to him? Send an eagle or what?« Levi joked, wanting to distract his girlfriend and make her laugh – it worked. Sometimes, it was very easy to read her. And he was thankful for that. She spilled the beans when something was bothering her and she never said, »There’s nothing wrong« when it was clear that something was. [Name] was not complicated by any means, she was the happiest when Levi surprised her with little things – her favourite meals, a single red rose, cuddling and a nice DVD – and she would never specifically ask for anything. »We’re nearly there,« he then said, »have you thought of something to say to her?«

     [Name] nodded shyly. »I figured out the best thing to say to a complete stranger that is actually part of your family and after everything I heard about her, I really hope it will work. But we don’t even know if she’s home and I am actually really freaking out right now. I am just so happy you came with me. Though I really love all my friends, I feel better knowing you are by my side.« She offered him a kind smile though he could clearly see her distress.

     Levi pulled into the next street when the navigation system announced that they had reached their destination. [Name] flinched. Levi looked for a parking space, turned off the engine and looked at his girlfriend. »No need to be nervous,« he began, taking her hand and squeezing it lightly, »I know that everything is overwhelming for you at the moment and I really can’t imagine what must be going through your mind right now. But whatever happens, you are not alone.«

     She smiled and leaned in to kiss him before they got out of the car, heading to the building where Aurora was supposed to live.

 

     [Name] was shaking by the time they had reached the seventh floor and she held on to Levi’s hand for dear life while he made quite an effort to even drag her forward as her legs were about to give up on her. She now wondered why she hadn’t asked her grandfather if Aurora had ever been married of if he had knowledge that she was dating someone – hell, she could even be gay! Or aromantic or whatever. The wildest thoughts were running through [Name]’s mind and she hardly registered anything that was going on around her. She only stopped after she heard Levi ring the doorbell.

     »W-Wait, I am not ready yet,« she panicked and tried to hide behind him to calm down.

     »[Name], you can do this.«

     Footsteps and before [Name] or Levi could react, the door was opened. The woman in front of them was beautiful. She was roughly the same height as [Name] herself with sandy blonde hair ending just above her shoulders. She was wearing glasses – one eye the beautiful and radiant green of a spring meadow and the other as blue as the most beautiful sky out there.

     »May I help you?« she asked with a smile, her voice very calm and warming.

     Since [Name] seemed to be frozen on the spot, Levi decided to take matters out of her hands. »We are sorry for the sudden interruption, miss, I hope we are not bothering you.« She just shook her head. »We actually got your address from your father. My girlfriend here wanted to meet you.«

     »Oh? Are you friends with my father? Or some of his old students? But why don’t we continue this inside?« She opened the door wider and led them in. »Sorry for the mess. I didn’t expect any guests. Can I offer you something? A cup of tea, maybe?«

     »No, thank you very much.« Levi sat down and pulled [Name] with him who seemed awfully pale by now. Aurora took place on the opposite side of the kitchen table and smiled at them. »So, do you want to speak or should I?«

     [Name] finally snapped out of it. »Uhm, well, this is going to be a long story …« And so, she started explaining. »First of all, my name is [Name] [Last name] and I have been looking for you for quite a while. You see, a teacher of mine told me about you. He told me you were his first love and that he couldn’t forget about you. He also said he had never had a chance to speak to you and he regrets it every day. I offered him help in looking for you since he did so much for me these past two years that all I want is to see him happy. While looking for you, I got your father’s address. And this is where it gets weird.«

     Aurora smiled kindly. »You don’t need to explain any further. You are Freya’s daughter, aren’t you? You really look alike. And I am so happy to meet you. Ever since I started university again, I’ve been thinking of meeting you. One of the instructors at my school helped judge the visual compositions for the scholarships at your university and he handed it to me. I saw your name and I knew who you were. Sorry, this sounds weird, right?«

     [Name] blinked a few times. »So many coincidences, I am dreaming, right?«

     Aurora just gave her a heart-warming laugh. »Maybe. But I believe in destiny. I had a feeling when I opened the door since I do not have many friends and none of them would visit me on the day before Valentine’s Day. It is an honour to finally meet my niece in person.«

     Levi saw his girlfriend tear up. She was overwhelmed by emotions right now, first losing her mother then finding a family that adored her and now getting just another family that loved her just as much. He took her hand again, placed a kiss on her cheek and turned towards Aurora. »Miss, I really don’t know what to say at this point.«

     »You don’t need to say anything. And I am fine if you just call me Aurora. And the man you were talking about,« she paused and her face went red, »were you, perhaps, talking about Erwin Smith?«

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this so much, this might just be my favourite chapter ♥  
> I am currently sick and stuck in bed, also I forgot I still have an assignment I need to finish until Monday but I will work hard so you can enjoy a chapter next week! ♥
> 
> Have a nice week and keep yourselves save ♥♥♥


	21. Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wah, I've written this in half an hour, I am so done now xD  
> But before we begin: BIG SHOUTOUT TO DIANASAURUS94! ♥♥♥ I love her so much and she actually came up with the idea for the Valentine's dinnes. Thank you so much! ♥ You are such a precious soul ♥♥♥
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

     Levi and [Name] blinked and looked at each other. They had expected her to not know who Erwin even was but [Name] at least was right in her feeling that Aurora and Erwin indeed had a connection they didn’t really know about. »We are talking about Erwin,« [Name] said with a relieved smile on her features, »but how did you know that?«

     »I guess it was just my hopes getting the better of me,« her smile faltered slightly as she continued speaking, »it has been a couple of years since I have last seen him, to be honest. And it is correct that we never exchanged a word. He was on the football team and I was in an art class. Though I was fairly popular among my peers just like he was, I was still considered the nerd and the cheerleaders always took the spots next to the players. I am not a very confrontational person and there was one particular cheerleader that I was quite afraid of so I never dared to go near him. But he amazed me. His smile, his gentle behaviour and of course, his radiant eyes. Sadly, he graduated before I had the guts to ever say a word to him. I have been in a relationship before but it didn’t work out. I guess, it is true what people say. When you can’t sleep at night, you’re awake in another person’s dream.«

     »Have you never made any effort to contact him afterwards?« [Name] truly felt sympathetic towards her aunt and she was desperate to know more about her – especially since she now knew that she was single and felt the same as Erwin did. It was like a little miracle unfolding right in front of her. Where [Name] herself had to go through four months of bitterly hiding her feelings for Levi, Aurora and Erwin could meet on the same ground and hopefully get along.

     Aurora shook her head and sighed while closing her eyes. Before she continued speaking, she took off her glasses and set them in front of her onto the table. »I don’t know what exactly kept me from contacting him but I think it was something along the lines of not being good enough for someone like him. He didn’t know me and I felt invisible for him. He might have known my name but that was it. He was a year older than me, we didn’t share any classes and though I did come to see his games, he was usually surrounded by cheerleaders afterwards and I was too shy to come up to him and introduce myself. These past few years, I was living with a lot of regret. And I can see what you’re thinking but after being infatuated with a person who has never broken your actual dreams, can haunt you for a lifetime.« She looked up at the couple opposite from her. »You may know that my brother – your father, [Name] – died when he was in college. He made my life miserable and I was glad he was gone, to be honest. To this day, I have not shed a single tear for him. After his death, I felt free. I just packed my things and left. At first, I didn’t know where to go and just settled in a different state after I was given a bit of money. I went to nursery school which to this day I regret doing. It was the first thing that came to my mind and though I am glad I quit and got the chance to attend university again, I regret spending so long in a job I never liked in the first place. Over the years, I forgot almost everything regarding my high school life. And for some time, I also forgot about Erwin. It was when I had my first relationship that I remembered him ever so painfully and I broke up with the guy because I couldn’t bear it. Half a year ago, when my mother died, I made the decision to become happy again. That was also the point in my life where I was convinced that Erwin must be happily married, having a child or two and I wanted to go on with my studies. Well, and then I met you.«

     [Name] needed a moment to process all the information. »That’s sad,« she eventually said, »but I can tell you that he has been as unhappy about his romantic life as you have been. He wants to meet you and make up for what he has missed out on thirteen years ago.«

     A single tear rolled down Aurora’s cheek. »I have imagined what it would be like to meet him. What it would be like to talk to him freely and even hold his hand and see him smile at me. Having you here now and tell me that he knows who I am and wants to meet me makes me so incredibly happy. You make my dreams come true, [Name]. Thank you so much.« She wiped the tear away and smiled at her niece. »But other than that, I would really like to get to know you, too. I haven’t seen you since you were a little baby.«

     Levi smiled a bit. »She apparently takes after you, if I can say that.«

     »Ah, well,« [Name] rubbed her neck in slight embarrassment, »you already know that I attend art school. And while I was looking for you, I went to your old high school and the caretaker and principal told me that my aura and personality reminds them of you.«

     Aurora blinked. »Wait, you actually went as far as to go to my school? Oh my god, if I had just known that … I deleted my Facebook account after my mother’s death, I made your search so hard. I sincerely apologize, [Name].« Aurora now looked really embarrassed. She fiddled with her glasses still laying upon the table and apologized some more.

     After both, Levi and [Name], had convinced Aurora that she didn’t need to apologize and that she couldn’t’ve known, they settled in for more small talk. [Name] told her aunt about her upbringing, about her mother going back to school when she was in kindergarten and her marriage to a man she didn’t like. She also told her about her mother’s divorce, her moving to a new city and meeting her friends there; and ultimately, her mothers death. Upon hearing about Freya’s death, Aurora paled and started tearing up. She expressed her condolences and even stood up to give her niece the first hug in their lives.

     Aurora wiped her eyes. »I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s death. I know how horrible I felt after the death of my own mother but I had at least time to prepare myself for it. Though she had a heart attack, we all knew she wouldn’t have much longer to live. I regret even more now that I haven’t been a part of your life, [Name].«

     [Name] just shook her head. »Maybe it was my mother’s death that allowed me to meet the rest of my family. I don’t know if she would’ve told me about my heritage one day but I try to see the bright side of life. It was horrible losing her and it still hurts but I know that I am not alone in this world. And well, I found Levi in the process of finding myself again.« She took his hand and smiled at him.

     Aurora smiled as well. »May I ask how you met? Not to be rude but you seem a bit older than her as well.« she blinked innocently while Levi broke out in cold sweat and Aurora’s cheeks turned beet red. »Oh, wow, you don’t have to tell me if you are too embarrassed.«

     »You’re going to hear it from Erwin anyway if we don’t tell you,« Levi said, bringing himself back into the conversation, »[Name] was one of my students in high school.«

     »Oh my god,« Aurora gasped and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets in surprise, »well, I certainly didn’t see that coming. But hey, I am not here to judge you. You look so cute together and the way you look at each other means that you must really adore the other. People can see love even if you think they can’t.« She turned back to her kind smile. »But I figure it must’ve been a shock for your friends and families.«

     »It was,« Levi said without missing a heartbeat, »I thought that Erwin would skin me alive when we told them on Christmas Eve. Maybe it wouldn’t have been such a shock if he wasn’t so close to [Name]. He is quite protective of her.«

     The blonde woman laughed. »Oh, I can imagine that. Who wouldn’t get protective over such a cute girl? But, may I ask, since you know him as well, does that mean, he’s a teacher now?«

     »He is indeed,« [Name] said and nodded while doing so, »he teaches history at my old high school. He was my teacher as well. He also supported me throughout my depression and is kind of like a father for me.«

     »I am glad to hear that,« Aurora answered but her expression turned dark again, »when I heard that my brother had got a girl pregnant, I was in shock. And after hearing that he had forced her into having sex with him, I wanted to kill him so bad. I think my father already told you a bit about my brother but he wasn’t a pleasant man, at all. We all wished that you wouldn’t have such a terrible father like him and I am somehow very glad you never met him, even if that sounds very harsh.« [Name] gripped Levi’s hand tighter under the table. »My brother hated me. I don’t know why, maybe it was because of the dysfunction in his brain, but I couldn’t care less. He hit me, he pulled my hair, he took my dolls and ripped them apart. One time when I was still in elementary school he pushed me down the stairs resulting in me nearly dying – I hit my head really bad and was unconscious for the better part of a week. After that, my parents had to get him away from me and sent him to a high school outside our city. I don’t know much about his life there but that’s where he met your mother. She was too sweet for this world and definitely too young to be experienced enough not to fall under my brother’s spell. He could be really charming when he wanted something.«

     »I am sorry you had to go through that,« [Name] whispered when Aurora made a pause to take a deep breath, »if I had known any of this …«

     »It wouldn’t’ve made a difference,« Aurora cut her off, »my asshole of a brother never wanted you but I am so glad that your mother told him to fuck off.« Levi and [Name] both gasped at the vocabulary that came out of that sweet mouth. »My parents were very protective of your mother and you and I am profoundly grateful for that. But the terror didn’t end there. His harassment against Freya, me and ultimately my parents got so bad, that we had a restraining order filing against him. During your mother’s pregnancy, we had to call the police about once a month. After you were born, your mother moved out eventually and we didn’t hear much from her until one day the messages just stopped completely. I suspect that my brother threatened to hurt you or anyone else because my father and mother were very attached to you and your mother. And then, eleven years ago, my brother died. My childhood bully was gone and I finally felt free. But looking back at it, it was only where my lane of regrets started. I am taking every second chance I can get.« She sighed deeply. »Sorry for ranting.«

     [Name] just shook her head. »I’ve missed out on my family my entire life up until now. I am trying to learn as much as possible from this side of my family. And honestly, I don’t need a father. I have one.« She didn’t need to say who it was.

 

     While keeping up the small talk, they completely forgot the time. It was already dark outside when Levi pointed out that it was time to go since he had to work the following day and so did [Name].

     »Oh, I apologize for making you stay so long!« Aurora bowed her head as they all stood up from the table. She shuffled around in her small kitchen, putting the used glasses in the sink all the while still apologizing. [Name] had to admit that she and her aunt had indeed some similar personality traits. »It is already dark outside and I bet you still have a long way home in front of you.«

     »Don’t be sorry,« [Name] replied kindly, »I enjoyed meeting and talking to you. And shall I set you up with Erwin or something? Do you want to surprise him or anything? I am sure I can come up with something for the two of you.«

     Before Aurora could answer, Levi stated, »Why don’t we invite them to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day tomorrow? I am sure Hanji and Moblit would be up for that, too. And you can also invite your grandfather so everyone gets to meet. Why wait any longer than all of them already have?« The two women were silent for a moment and just stared at Levi with wide eyes and their mouths slightly hanging open. »Did I say something wrong?«

     »No, no, I was just surprised that it was you coming up with this idea. You’re not usually someone to make plans like this. I was just completely taken by surprise.« She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. »But I actually really like that idea. Surprising Erwin on Valentine’s Day would be so romantic, don’t you think?« [Name] turned towards her aunt again. »What do you say?«

     »But Valentine’s Day should be your day and I don’t want to interfere.« Aurora brought the pair to the front door. »I am sure you already have plans for that special day.«

     Levi and [Name] exchanged a brief look. »Well, actually,« Levi began, »we are both not the type of person to really give a shit about Valentine’s Day and neither of us would mind. Or do we, [Name]?« Levi looked at his girlfriend who was just standing next to him, smiling.

     »All I want is to make you both happy,« she just replied, »I don’t care about Valentine’s Day. It is just an ordinary day, after all. I can see Levi whenever I want but it would mean a lot to Erwin, I know that. So, will you go out with us for dinner tomorrow? And would grandpa like to come, too? He has to meet Hanji, I think they will like each other.«

     The persistency in [Name]’s voice was something that was quite new to Levi as [Name] was usually someone who easily gave in. But she seemed so determined to make Erwin and Aurora happy that he couldn’t help but fall in love with her all over again. Aurora looked back and forth between her niece and Levi until she sighed. »I guess I can’t extinguish the fire in your eyes anymore, can I, huh? Maybe I am just nervous … but yes, I would love to see you to dinner tomorrow. Thank you very much.«

     Aurora and [Name] exchanged their phone numbers and hugged each other goodbye. But before the door behind them closed, Aurora said, »Welcome back into the family, [Name].«

 

✿✿✿

 

     [Name] cried tears of joy on their way home. Even if she tried, she could not express the feelings that were currently shaking her up. She was so happy and sad at the same time it felt unreal. She loved Aurora and her grandfather already even if they barely knew each other. But still, one very important person was missing from her life; missing out on her becoming an adult, of her uncovering the truth and finding happiness.

     Because even if she loved Hanji, Moblit, Nanaba, Mike, Levi, Marco, Jean and Erwin with her entire heart, a mother would forever be unreplaceable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of sadness, a bit of swears and Levi being a sweetheart, that's all I need for a Wednesday evening.
> 
> Please, leave a kudos or a comment if you like it! And also take care of yourselves and enjoy your week ♥♥♥


	22. Excitement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back for this week!  
> And I am terribly sorry for being so slow with updates. I have literally no freetime at the moment, I am on the verge of crying every day after getting up and I can't tell you when it will get better ...  
> But anyway, I will still try to write for you and make sure you have something to read!  
> Please, enjoy this ♥

     The moment Levi and [Name] got back home, they started planning everything for the following day. It was shortly before midnight and they both had work to do the following morning but they couldn’t care less. Levi sent out a message to Hanji explaining the whole situation while [Name] texted Erwin to let him know that he _needed_ to go out to dinner with Hanji, Moblit, herself and Levi, no protests. Since it was already so late, Levi would call the restaurant where he had initially made a reservation for himself and [Name] first thing in the morning, letting them know that there would be a few more guests to come. They wanted to give Erwin a later time and planned to seat Aurora in a way that Erwin wouldn’t see her at first.

     It was one o’clock in the morning, when their backs finally hit the mattress and they immediately drifted off to sleep with happiness and excitements in their hearts.

 

     Neither Levi nor [Name] had time to even think about how tired they were the next morning. They overslept and rushed through the house, making sure to gather all their important belongings before Levi dropped his girlfriend off at work and headed to the school. His day was fairly busy, having three classes and an exam while [Name] found herself in the middle of a crowded café full of newlyweds and young and old couples. Unfortunately, Mina was sick and [Name], Hitch and their boss were the only ones available for the day. It was at least busy enough to successfully distract [Name] from the evening.

     »[Name]! Wait, wait, wait!« Her boss took one of the five plates off her hands. »You’re like a little mouse on speed today! I know we’re busy but it is past lunchtime and you haven’t had a single break yet. Are you okay, darling? Is something bothering you? A customer? Just tell me and he’s getting a kick in the ass.«

     [Name] laughed. »No, no, the customers are all very nice today. I am just way too excited for dinner today, that’s all.« She pushed past him, taking the plates out into the dining room, leaving her slightly smirking boss behind.

     Hitch, who just returned from the dining room with the next few orders, looked up at her boss and crooked an eyebrow. »Are you alright? Why are you grinning like a pervert?«

     »[Nickname] is excited for dinner. And today is Valentine’s Day. Someone’s going to get laid tonight.« He chuckled like a pre-schooler. »Even though I don’t like the idea of some guy touching my innocent, sweet [Name] but I think she has been dating this guy long enough.«

     »Huh?« Hitch looked confused. »Wait, I didn’t even know [Name] was dating someone.«

     He gave the plate he was still holding to his employee with a wide smile. »That’s because you never listen when she tells you something, my dear Hitch. Back to work now.«

 

✿✿✿

 

     Hanji was crying tears of joy ever since she came back from work. She was _ecstatic_. Way more than [Name] was. She was running around the living room and kitchen, muttering to herself, giggling and then bursting into tears before the cycle repeated itself. At first, she had been in disbelief, then she had started screaming and [Name] and Moblit were just sitting at the kitchen table, looking at Hanji, curious about her next reaction – that woman was simply unpredictable and that was exactly why they loved her so much.

     »She’s cute when she does that but it’s starting to annoy me,« [Name] said with a dreamy expression on her face as if she was too distracted by something else to entirely focus on Hanji’s strange antics. She had just spoken to Aurora on the phone to make sure she knew all the details for the evening. Aurora was currently on her way to her father, being a three-hour-ride and then one hour to the restaurant. [Name] felt sorry for her aunt having to drive for so long but she got told not to worry since Aurora was too excited herself and could calm down during the car ride.

     »She’s been like this ever since you told her you had a grandfather,« Moblit sighed and leaned against the backrest of his chair. He loved Hanji deeply – but this was a bit too much. »Is there any chance she will calm down after meeting your aunt and grandfather?«

     »I just hope so …« [Name] sighed and stood up. »Do you mind if I leave Hanji to you for now? I have to make some phone calls and then shower before we head out for dinner. I didn’t have time for neither of it all day.« She gave Moblit an apologetic smile after he sighed and stood up to calm Hanji down.

     [Name] went upstairs, closing the door to her room behind her. She took a deep breath, sat down on her bed and grabbed her phone from where it was sitting on the nightstand. She had been thinking about how she would deliver all these news to her friends; since they were all in different universities and had different schedules, it was nearly impossible for all of them to meet up like they used to. So, [Name] had decided to just leave them a voice mail. She had even taken notes beforehand so she wouldn’t talk nonsense.

     Her hands were shaking as she pressed the voice mail button in the WhatsApp group they had created just after entering high school. »Uhm, hey guys,« she began, suddenly feeling very stupid and also scared, »so, as you may know, I’ve found the woman we were looking for. Aurora Hearst.« Her heart beat faster and she didn’t remember anything she wanted to say. She was about to tell her friends that Aurora was her aunt. That she had a grandfather. Only now did she think that once she was over with this, the news from the weekend would be _real_. _So real_. And she was scared as hell. Why? She didn’t know. She stopped the voice mail and took another deep breath. Second try.

     »Guys, I have some big news for you. Please take some time and listen, this is going to be long. And just as a side not, if you want to call me, please call me tomorrow in the afternoon. I won’t be available for the rest of the evening.« Way better. »I found Aurora Hearst. She lives in a big city two hours away from here and is currently a university student in some master program at a renowned art school. I have visited her yesterday and you won’t believe it but she seems to be head over heels for Erwin. Or well, she’s at least as desperate to get in touch with him as he is. There are so many things I would like to tell you about her but there’s something else I must get off my shoulders now.« She made a pause and took yet another deep breath. »As you may know, Bertolt and I found Aurora through her father, Adrian Hearst. We visited him on Friday, right after we got his address. He is a very kind and loveable man. But the thing is – I found something I wasn’t even looking for. Brace yourselves and I hope I am not giving anyone a heart attack but – Adrian Hearst is actually my paternal grandfather.« She said it. She said it out loud. And suddenly, speaking became so very easy. »I know, I know, you must think that I’ve gone nuts and I can’t quite believe it myself but he is actually my grandfather. My father – who I now know is dead – was his son. He knew my mother very well and he and his wife helped her through her pregnancy. My-my father wasn’t a nice guy, that’s all I know. But don’t worry, I’m fine. You can guess, where this is going, huh? Meaning Erwin’s first love is my aunt. I really can’t believe it myself. And now that I told you, everything is just so painfully real. It’s too much … I’m-I’m sorry, guys. We’ll hear from each other.«

     Tears were streaming down her face as she sent the voice mail. She closed her eyes, laid flat on the bed and tried to think of something that would calm her down. The euphoria and the surprise had definitely worn off. Her mother had left her in the dark her whole life. Why? Adrian and Aurora seemed like the kindest people on earth. There were so many unanswered questions and the one who had all the answers was no longer here.

     [Name] shot up. Now was not the time to think about all the questions that were currently forming in her head. She wiped the tears away, grabbed some clothes and a towel and headed towards the bathroom. A shower would calm her down and hopefully relax her enough to enjoy the evening. It was still exciting, after all.

 

     After a nice twenty-minute shower, [Name] went back to her room only to find her phone blown up with tons of messages and missed calls. »I told them not to call me, she murmured to herself and sighed before sitting down and taking a look at all the messages.

 

_Jean: »Wait, WHAT?! [Nickname], why didn’t you tell us anything sooner?! That is too much information for one day, oh my god.«_

_Mikasa: »Hold on, wait, wait, wait, that woman is your aunt? Are you serious, [Name]? Or have you gone crazy? Did she poison you or anything?«_

_Eren: »HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.«_

_Seven missed calls_

_Historia: »Oh my GOD! [Name] you HAVE to tell us more! This is so cool!_ _♥_ _«_

_Marco: »[Nickname], you can’t leave us hanging like that, I am so terribly confused.«_

_Reiner: »Holy SHIT, BERTL, DID YOU KNOW?!«_

_Bertolt: »I better not say anything …«_

_Ymir: »Smooth fucker, of course you knew!«_

_Annie: »Calm down, you maniacs, [Name] told you not to waste her fucking time.«_

 

     »I will have to do some explaining tomorrow … But well, I can’t at the moment, sorry.« She put her phone aside and put the necklace Levi had gifted her around her neck before applying some mascara. The excite feeling in her stomach had fully returned and she couldn’t help but smile when she was done. She grabbed her purse and phone and headed back downstairs where she could already hear Hanji excitedly exclaiming that this would be the best Valentine’s Day in all of history.

     »Ah, [Nickname], you look so cute! Are you excited? I surely am. Oh, I can’t stop babbling, I am so sorry.« Hanji’s cheeks were red and [Name] wasn’t sure if those were tears in the corner of her eyes but she seemed so happy, [Name] just smiled and walked over to them. Moblit adjusted his tie while Hanji fidgeted over [Name], very happy to see that she was wearing a very cute dress for once. The last time she had worn a dress was the day of her graduation. Which had ended with her lying bare next to Levi. [Name]’s cheeks turned a nice shade of red when she thought back but she quickly banished that thought from her mind. Since it was Valentine’s Day, she had made sure to save up some energy for – late night activities. She wasn’t as uptight anymore but her and Levi’s energy resources always equalled corpses and no one would like to fall asleep while having sex simply because they were so exhausted.

     [Name] realized too late that she had spaced out and Hanji waved her hand so close to her face that she shrieked and stumbled backwards. Hanji grinned. »What were you thinking about, [Name], hm? Do you have any other plans for tonight?« She wiggled her eyebrows.

     »Oh, Hanji, please,« [Name] buried her face in her hands from embarrassment while Hanji started laughing, gaining Moblit’s attention in the process who had made sure that everything was turned off in the kitchen. He looked confused, Hanji was laughing while [Name] seemed to be really embarrassed. It didn’t take him long to figure out why, though but he was sensible enough not to say a word. He took Hanji by the hand and gently dragged her over to the door so they could all put their shoes on before heading outside to the car.

 

✿✿✿

 

     The scene they arrived to was a bit – awkward. Aurora and her father were already waiting there as well as Levi who seemed to be very uncomfortable in the presence of his girlfriend’s grandfather. Since [Name]’s parents had died, Levi didn’t have to do the formal introduction every boyfriend had to go through. No questioning, no murderous looks, no death threads – he felt like everything he could avoid would now haunt him. Luckily for him, [Name] approached him smiling and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before greeting her aunt and grandfather with a hug.

     »I thought you looked beautiful the other day but seeing you now … You look so stunning, [Name],« Adrian said and actually wiped a tear off his face. »And I am sorry for not introducing myself earlier, young man, my name is Adrian Hearst.« He held out a hand for Levi. »I was just so nervous meeting the man who stole my granddaughter’s heart. Oh, I probably sound like some crazy old man, having known her for two days only, I sincerely apologize.«

     [Name] could see relief washing over Levi as he took the old man’s hand to introduce himself properly. »Well, more like your granddaughter stole my heart, sir. My name is Levi Ackerman, it’s a pleasure to meet you.« Levi was – embarrassingly – very much shorter than Adrian himself but he was used to that, being friends with giants like Erwin and Mike.

     »Oh, and I assume these are your – parents?« Adrian walked up to greet Hanji and Moblit while Aurora just stood there motionless, looking at her feet. She was gorgeous tonight – hair done beautifully, no glasses and she was wearing some light jeans with a nice coat.

     »Are you nervous?« [Name] asked and her aunt nodded reluctantly.

     »I feel like my heart is going to explode. I could hardly sleep last night and I started shaking really bad half an hour ago and it won’t stop. I hope he will be happy to see me, oh my god, I have to sit down.« Aurora swayed dangerously and Levi and [Name] were next to her immediately, making sure she didn’t fall to the ground.

     »We should go get inside,« Levi said, helping Aurora to take the steps while [Name] gathered the rest to lead them into the restaurant.

     Arian took his granddaughter by the arm and held her back a little. He smirked and whispered, »Good choice« while pointing at Levi.

 

     All they had to do after everyone was seated, was wait for Erwin. Aurora sat to the entrance door with her back, facing an empty chair, her father and [Name] on either side of her. She was still shaking badly and [Name] could hear her aunt’s rapid heartbeat from where she was sitting. The young adult gave her aunt’s hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled. »Everything will turn out fine, believe me.«

     »Erwin, we’re here!« Aurora nearly fell of her chair at Hanji’s words and her face turned a concerning white while Hanji stood up and waved Erwin over to their table. He looked slightly out of breath as he approached the table with a gentle smile on his features.

     »Thank you for the invitation,« he said and stopped for a moment, adjusting his tie. »I hope I don’t bother any of you?«

     »Of course not,« [Name] answered, »please, go ahead and sit down.«

     Erwin thanked [Name] and made his way around the table to sit next to a grinning Hanji. He hung up his jacket on the chair, sat down and smiled – and his breath caught in his throat the moment he looked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love cliffhangers so much, sorry xD Also, this is not proof-read but I will do that as soon as I have the time, so sorry for any mistakes!  
> I hope you could enjoy this chapter! ♥
> 
> Have a nice week and please take care of yourselves ♥


	23. Hiatus

I've tried to avoid it but the circumstances leave me no choice.

 

Dearest readers on earth,

I am sorry to break those news to you, but I will be going on hiatus for an unknown amount of time. It breaks my heart to say this right now but I am seriously burnt out. The work put onto me by university is enough to kill a man, with 900 work hours where I am expected to function perfectly, have a social life, do all the work and still sleep on top of it all. I currently don't even sleep three hours per night and I go without eating for days because of sleep deprivation and stress. Also, our annual Easter concert is approaching fast, meaning on top of my weekly flute lessons I have to study for since I am taking an exam in June I have rehearsal three times a week, meaning I am travelling from the city I study in to my home village more often than I should. I sleep on the train if I am not doing my work while travelling. Consider that it is a three hour ride.

Writing has always been my safe haven. It is what I do to keep myself sane enough to get through the day but lately, I found it hard to write anything because of how much work I have. The countless stories I am writing on are always open in the background, always having the intention of being worked on but I, more often than not, go to bed without writing a single word. You may not know but I am trying to attend a renowned literature institute for my master degree next year, which requires me to write a novel that I am currently working on, too.

I don't know when I will be able to upload again and I feel so very sorry for that. I love Levi and Reader-chan so much that I feel bad for abandoning them but I surely can't keep up with everything going on at the moment and I don't want the quality of the story to suffer because of that. My holidays will begin in a week from now and I hope to catch up on sleep, university work and - hopefully - this story. There is so much to be told and so much I want to write for you, but unfortunately, I can't tell you when I will be back.

I am really, really sorry for that.

I love all of you. Your support gets me through the day and I am so happy to have readers like you enjoying what I do.

Special thanks to Dianasaurus94 for sticking with me for so long and for supporting me through some darker times. You are such a precious human being, please feel loved and hugged, you deserve it all ♥

 

I will delete this chapter one I can upload regularly again.

I hope you will understand.

 

Yours sincerely,

Gegenwind


	24. Art block

I am still on hiatus. I am so sorry.

But I am currently trying to write and plan but I have a serious art block and would kindly ask you for your help.

I have some scenarios I still want to write but I can't bring those in yet. So, I would like to ask you what you want to read in this story. But please think about the timeline and the age of the characters before you suggest anything :)

I am very sorry to aks you to help me but I am stuck in this endless loop of creativlessness and I want to get back into writing this story because I really, really love it.

 

Please take care of yourselves and I wish you a good time ♥

Sincerely,

Gegenwind

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts or wishes for the sequel? I have so many ideas on my mind right now, I don't even know where to start. I try to keep up with the weekly updates, I promise! ♥
> 
> Have a nice week and take care of yourselves ♥


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